A Hero Within
by LightSpirit
Summary: Kerry/Smithy fic. After weeks of suffering, a change seems to finally be making everything fall back into place for Kerry after Gabriel goes too far. But will the shocking discovery of a new secret bring her whole life crashing down again?
1. Chapter 1: The Story So Far

**Hi everybody!**

**I have chosen to rewrite my story 'A Need To Escape' and adds to the changes, I have had to change the story title.**

**Sorry it's taken so long! Hope you all like it!**

**Please do read and review of course.**

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**Chapter 1: The Story So Far**

PC Kerry Young was sitting alone at a computer in one of the roomr at Sun Hill Police Station feeling terrified. Kerry had always been a fine police officer and a very warm-hearted, kind and fun loving young woman full of spirits, but all of that had been stripped away her. There wasn't a day or a moment that went by where she didn't think of what had become of her.

Nearly eight weeks ago, Kerry's life had been turned completely upside down because she had been violently and mercilessly raped by the evil PC Gabriel Kent, a fellow officer at Sun Hill.

She had thought that Gabriel was her friend because he acted very considerate towards her when she felt wrecked with guilt for cheating on her ex-boyfriend PC Cameron Tait after she drunkenly slept with Sgt Dale Smith. Kerry talked about her drunken night of passion with Smithy to Gabriel, for she felt vulnerable as she couldn't remember what happened and she believed that he was someone she could talk to and someone she could trust. But talking to Gabriel of all people was a big mistake as he saw this as an opportunity to get his own back on Smithy, but Kerry didn't realise this at the time and was completely unaware of what Gabriel's intentions really were. In truth and fact, Gabriel completely twisted the situation and played sick mind games with Kerry by cruelly tricking her into believing that she had in fact been date raped by Smithy. The cruel plan worked for sometime as Kerry did indeed believe that because she was drunk, Smithy took her home with him and forced her to have sex with him and Gabriel encouraged her to accuse Smithy of the crime that he had not committed and make an official allegation against him. Kerry later confided in her true friend PC Yvonne Hemmingway that Smithy had raped her and Yvonne also tried to encourage Kerry to report him, for she only wanted what was best for her friend. However, Kerry then decided not to press charges against Smithy for she didn't feel like a rape victim when she was close to him and decided that she wanted to put it all behind her and have a future with Cameron.

But unlike Yvonne who respected Kerry's decisions, Gabriel wouldn't let it rest and so therefore went behind Kerry's back by telling PC Andrea Dunbar, Cameron and spreading the news around the whole relief that Smithy was a date rapist. Kerry was furious when she discovered that everyone knew her secret, especially Cameron as he was the one person she didn't want to know. Kerry's personal life then took centre-stage at an armed robbery at a bank, where the bank manager had a bomb strapped to his waist. Smithy was the acting duty officer, but his reputation had been damaged by the rumour Gabriel had spread, although PC Gary Best and PC Tony Stamp both knew better than to believe that Smithy would do something so terrible to anyone. Kerry offered to chaperon the bank manager and the bomb to a secure area and everything was under tight control but unfortunately, not for long. Cameron told Smithy about the rape allegation against him and then foolishly chose the middle of the bomb incident to discuss the allegation with Kerry. He deliberately deserted his post to talk to her and she tried to keep focused on the job. But with Cameron's demand for answers, they got into a slight disagreement and when Cameron began to leave, Kerry deserted her post for a split second to stop him not noticing that the manager was reaching for the bomb and within that one second, it was all over. The bomb went off, killing the manager and nearly Kerry herself. She was in complete shock after the explosion and Cameron asked her not to tell CID that they were arguing before the explosion as they could've lost their jobs for neglecting their duties.

But however, Gabriel saw the whole thing and told DC Jim Carver that Cameron was not in his position before the bomb went off. Cameron was therefore interviewed by both DC Carver and DS Sam Nixon and was forced to admit that he was talking to Kerry but denied that the explosion was a result of negligence. DS Nixon and DC Carver didn't believe him and so he blurted out about Kerry's rape allegation against Smithy. Kerry was therefore left with no choice but to tell Inspector Gina Gold about the allegation, but she wouldn't make it official or withdraw it. She was so furious with Cameron for telling CID after they had agreed to keep quiet and the whole thing put a strain on their relationship. But everything was looking worse for Smithy as his career was on the line and he was losing the support and trust of some of his colleagues. Smithy was then stood down after the bomb incident and felt the pressure of his colleagues as the rape allegation resulted in the relief being divided over whose side they were on. Things then seemed to be looking well for Kerry and Cameron when they were in the clear for neglecting their duty, that was until Gabriel showed Kerry a third CCTV tape. Gabriel had been charge of collecting the CCTV tapes and stole the very one which showed Kerry deserting her post before the bomb went off, but he assured her that it was 'safe with him'. To make matters even worse about the rape allegation, the story of the allegation was somehow leaked to the press the next day and was all over the papers. As the story was now in print, Kerry had to decide whether or not she would make the allegation official and went on leave to try and make her decision. On her first day back, she still hadn't decided yet and was forced by Inspector Gold to decide by the next day as Smithy was going to be back at work.

And when that day came, Kerry began to realise that she didn't really believe that Smithy could've raped her. She knew that she couldn't remember the details and it was then that she regretted talking to Gabriel about it, even though it made it all feel a lot clearer at the time. When she then found out that Smithy had put for a voluntary transfer, she couldn't believe what was happening, for she never thought that it would get as far as it did nor did she want it to get that far. It was after she interviewed Khadija Miah, the second victim of the serial rapist they were all looking for, that she realised she knew for sure that Smithy wasn't capable of doing something so terrible to her or anyone. She therefore went to Inspector Gold and told her that she did not want to make the allegation against Smithy official. Kerry later talked to Smithy about everything that happened because she needed to apologise to him. As Smithy expressed his anger at the accusation, Kerry could see how much she had hurt him and told him she was sorry, wanting him to know that she never meant to hurt him so badly. Smithy forgave her and also accepted that he had taken advantage of her that night. To make things a bit better, they both stayed at Sun Hill but Cameron let Kerry know how betrayed he was when she tried talking to him. Kerry tried to tell him that what happened with her and Smithy was a mistake and that she didn't want it to ruin everything they had. It took a bit of convincing but Cameron eventually came round and they decided to give their disastrous relationship another try.

However, Gabriel was still around. After Kerry dropped the allegation against Smithy, Gabriel developed a sick interest in her. Kerry appreciated that he was being such a good friend to her, but was unaware about what he really wanted from her. She even agreed to help him take the law into his own hands to help a woman who was being terrorised by her ex-boyfriend and decided things had gone too far. She said she would report the incident, but then had a change of mind when Gabriel told her he had wiped the CCTV tape from the bomb. He told Kerry that he cared about her and even kissed her, but she pulled away and told him it was a mistake. And everything took another unexpected turn that same afternoon when Cameron asked Kerry to marry him. She however said no because she felt it was way too soon to take such a huge step. However, Gabriel kept talking to her and when she tried to tell him that the kiss was a mistake and that she was with Cameron, he wasn't convinced that meant anything. It was then that Kerry blurted out that Cameron had asked her to marry him and that she had said yes. She asked Gabriel not to tell anyone, but he once again went behind her back out of his jealousy and spread the news. Kerry therefore went to Cameron and accepted his proposal, thinking that it was indeed what she wanted. But she soon realised that she had really accepted it to get Gabriel off her back.

The envious Gabriel convinced himself that Kerry was deliberately 'winding him up' and 'leading him on'. He already had a mental hold over her and feared he was losing that hold as she was engaged to Cameron, accusing her of 'pushing him too far' by pushing him away and declaring her love to Cameron. Gabriel gave Kerry a lift home one night and tricked her into inviting him in. Kerry was expecting Cameron to come over, but Gabriel told her that he had been asked to stay late at work. He then began coming onto Kerry, accusing her of various things that weren't at all true - that she always said one thing but meant another, that she really wound him up and that she lead people and then denied that anything happened and said that she wasn't going to do that with him. He then said that she came onto him and when Kerry denied it, Gabriel flipped out, pushed her over onto her kitchen table, pinned her down and took out all his anger and jealousy on her by violently raping her. The attack left Kerry in absolute turmoil; she couldn't believe what had happened to her. The next morning, she went to the Rape Refuge Centre and had a medical examination. She then went to work, wanting to talk to Cameron and report the rape but she was worried after the incident with Smithy. When she told Cameron, he seemed to believe her until he confronted Gabriel who naturally denied the accusation and convinced Cameron that Kerry had slept with him willingly and was just the girl who cried rape when she was unfaithful. Gabriel then confronted Kerry and taunted her by telling her that no one would believe her if she reported the rape after she accused Smithy of the same thing. Despite all the facts she gave him, including why she accused Smithy of date rape, Kerry was distraught that Cameron believed Gabriel instead of her and ended their relationship, before going on leave. But throughout her time off, Kerry could only think about Cameron and realised she loved him and wanted him back. She returned to the station to declare her love for him but after some taunting from Gabriel, who was working on the serial rapist case, she found Cameron kissing PC Honey Harman in the locker room and therefore retaliated.

Kerry became obsessed with finding a way to expose Gabriel as a rapist and even boldly confronted him at his flat with a Dictaphone and mobile phone hidden on her and recorded him admitting to her rape. But he was too clever for her and terrified her enough to force her to give him her Dictaphone and phone, which he smashed before taunting her again. She then took a pair of scissors and attacked him, but couldn't hurt him and warned him that the battle was far from over. Kerry then offered to work on the serial rapist case and Gabriel gave her his place.

Sitting there alone shaking with fear, Gabriel had just mentally taunted her again. He had threatened to come back to her house one night and attack her a second time; Kerry didn't know what to do. She knew she couldn't make an official allegation against him, so she didn't know how to keep him away from her. She just sat there in that chair trying to let the fear pass her, unaware that someone had seen Gabriel leave the room and was looking in at her now - Cameron. As he looked in on her, Cameron suddenly began to realise that maybe Kerry had been telling the truth all along and felt incredibly guilty that he hadn't believed her and hadn't been there for her when she needed him. Anger filled up within him and he followed Gabriel into the male locker room, where the evil PC was removing his tie. Sensing someone was behind him, he turned round to look behind him, then closed his locker and turned around to face Cameron face to face. Even though he could see the anger in Cameron's eyes, Gabriel put on a normal, friendly face and tried playing it off that everything was normal between them, even though he knew it wasn't.

"Cameron, what you sneaking up on people for?" He said in a disturbingly friendly way.

The look on Cameron's face didn't change.

"I know." He spat at him.

"You know what? Price of fish?"

"Kerry; you did it, didn't you?"

Hearing that Kerry was being brought into the conversation, he seized the opportunity to tell his side of the story again and stuff his lies into Cameron's face.

"Oh yeah? She's finally come clean has she about our night of passion?"

"I know you raped her!" Cameron shot back at him.

"What? You've suddenly decided you believe her now?" Gabriel could see he could play more games with Cameron now that he believed Kerry. "Get real Cameron! She loves crying rape that one; must be a turn on or something."

Cameron felt angry and disgusted at Gabriel's reply and was about to make a reply when Gabriel suddenly seized him by the throat and pushed him up against the lockers.

"Okay Skippy, what if I did rape her? What would you do about it?" He hissed. "Do you really think anyone's going to believe you after last time?"

Cameron could hardly breathe, but he tried to both speak and break free from Gabriel's hard grasp.

"We'll see..." He managed to get out, but Gabriel just grapsed harder.

"We won't... we won't see anything," he continued to hiss at him. "You're not m..."

"PC KENT!" A familiar cockney accent voice from behind suddenly cut Gabriel off. Turning around without letting Cameron go, Gabriel saw there standing before with a very angry look on his face the one officer who was much stronger than him in many ways - Smithy.

"Let him go!" Smithy shouted at him with so much seriousness in his voice and his face as Gabriel could only stand there feeling scared and weaker than he had felt just ten seconds ago.


	2. Chapter 2: Righting A Wrong

**Chapter 2: Righting A Wrong**

"Are you deaf?" Smithy shouted when Gabriel wouldn't let Cameron go. "Let him go now!"

Trembling, Gabriel turned to look at Cameron and let him go. Cameron took a few steps towards Smithy while trying to get his breath back.

"PC Tait, are you alright?" Smithy asked with concern.

"Yeah I'm fine, thanks Serge." Cameron croaked.

"Well you don't sound fine; go and see the FME."

"Oh no Serge, I'm..."

"PC Tait..." Smithy cut him off. "That's an order; you've just been assaulted so go and get yourself checked out."

Cameron realised there was no point arguing with Smithy; when Smithy gave an order, he meant it and would take no excuses.

"Yes Serge," he said reluctantly before turning on his heel and leaving the locker room.

As soon as Cameron was gone, Smithy turned to Gabriel with a look of such anger and disgust on his face. Gabriel knew this wasn't good; his senior officer had just witnessed him assault someone - could this have been the end of everything for him in the Met? Smithy took a couple steps towards him, before stopping.

"As for you; my office now!" He shot at him pointing firmly at the door.

Feeling too weak to say anything or do anything else, Gabriel could only agree with his Sergeant and walked out of the locker room with Smithy following him. He could feel Smithy's eyes burning into the back of his neck as he walked down the corridors towards the Sergeant's office. Sweat was beginning to run all over his head; this was a sign of how nervous he was feeling. Finally, they reached the Sergeant's office; Gabriel was the first to enter and Smithy closed the door behind them.

"So?" Smithy said firmly. "What have you got to say for yourself?"

"I can explain Serge." Gabriel replied.

"Really?" Smithy answered sounding unconvinced as he walked around him. "I'm sorry, but I don't think you can. Nothing, absolutely nothing can justify your behaviour in that locker room towards PC Tait; unprofessional doesn't even begin to cover it!"

Gabriel felt his way out of this situation was being blocked as Smithy looked at him with pure anger and shouted in his face.

"Now what sort of excuse could you possibly have for assaulting a fellow officer that way? But you know what? I don't want to hear it because whatever excuse you might have, it doesn't give you the right to assault full stop! I have been very suspicious about your behaviour ever since those allegations about what you were up to on the Cole Lane Estate came to light PC Kent, but this is something you will not be able to crawl your way out of. Now whether PC Tait decides to press charges against you or not, it won't stop me from keeping quiet about what I saw - I will be telling Inspector Gold and the Superintendent about this and I will be taking my own action on it all, so give your warrant card."

When Smithy finished that last sentence, Gabriel's eyes widened with shock and worry.

"My warrant card?" He said with tremble in his voice.

"Yes, your warrant card!" Smithy shouted back at him. "I'm suspending you from duty pending further enquiry. As of now, you are no longer involved in any police activity and you will not be allowed back into this station without prior permission - and given my mood and the seriousness of your actions, I strongly advise against that. So... warrant card."

Smithy held out his hand demandingly to Gabriel, who had been standing still for the last few minutes listening to what Smithy had to say. Finally, he moved, put his hand into his pocket, pulled out his warrant card and handed it to Smithy.

"Thank you," Smithy replied with no gratitude present. "I'll escort you back to the locker room where you will clear out your locker and then, I'll be escorting you from the premises. Go on."

Without hesitation, Gabriel turned around, opened the door and walked out with Smithy following him. Back in the locker room, Smithy watched as Gabriel changed out of his uniform into his normal clothes and clear out his locker. He was being very careful not to take his eyes off the one officer on his relief who he didn't trust. Finally, Gabriel had finished and was walking towards the door when Smithy stopped him and held out his hand again.

"Swipe card."

Gabriel reached into his pocket and pulled out a white card with a black stripe that he handed to Smithy. Smithy then walked out of the locker room and made way for Gabriel to walk down the corridor and out into the yard. Walking him to the gate, Smithy stopped him again.

"One more thing Gabriel; while you're suspended, I would also advise you to not go anywhere near PC Tait or anyone he's particularly close to, alright?"

"Yes Serge."

"Good, now off you go."

Smithy directed Gabriel to leave and watched as the twisted PC turned on his heel and walked out of the yard and away from the station. Gabriel felt like he was losing everything, but was also suspicious by that last warning Smithy gave him - did he know? Did he over hear the conversation between himself and Cameron as well as witnessing the assault?

As soon as Gabriel was out of sight, Smithy made his way back inside the station and went immediately to Inspector Gold's office. Looking through the windows, by a stroke of luck, she was there and he knocked on the door.

"Yeah?" She called out when she heard the knock.

Smithy opened the door, poked in and she looked up to see who had just entered.

"Ma'am could I have a word?" Smithy asked.

"Yes of course, come in."

Smithy walked in, closed the door and stood before Gina at her desk.

"I just came to tell you that I've just suspended PC Kent."

Gina's eyes widened.

"Oh really?"

"Yes Ma'am."

"What for?"

"I witnessed him assaulting PC Tait in the locker room; he grabbed Cameron by the throat pushed him up against the lockers and wouldn't him let go." Smithy explained.

"Oh right, well that's marvellous." Gina said. "The sort of behaviour you would expect from officers like him. Where's Cameron now?"

"The FME has checked him and has stated that he's fine. I don't know if he wants to press charges or not."

"Okey dokey," Gina said nodding. "Well go and find him and tell him to come and see me; I'll talk to him about it and I will pass this onto the Superintendent. Thank you Smithy."

"Ma'am." Smithy replied before turning on his heel and walking out of the office.

Smithy found Cameron in the canteen sitting with PC Honey Harman, PC Gary Best and PC Tony Stamp; he interrupted their light-hearted laughter.

"Cameron, Insp. Gold would like a word with you now; she's in her office."

"Serge." Cameron replied hesitantly as he got up off his chair and walked out of the canteen.

Smithy then turned to the others.

"Now just to let you all know, PC Kent has been suspended from duty after he assaulted Cameron in the locker room. Now this is of course very serious, but I don't want anyone gossiping about it - is that clear?"

"Serge." They all replied in almost perfect unison.

"Good." Smithy said before walking out of the canteen.

Walking down the corridor, he made a turn out into the reception and then made his way up the stairs to the next floor level. His destination was right in front of him; the incident room, which is where he walked into and saw that the person he was looking for was there; he walked over to the blonde PC sitting at a desk.

"Kerry," he said as he leaned down over her and she turned her head to look in his direction. "Could I have a word in my office please?"

"Eh... yeah of course Serge," she was able to reply.

And with that, Smithy led her out of the incident room downstairs towards the Sergeant's office.


	3. Chapter 3: The Sergeant and the PC

**Chapter 3: The Sergeant and the PC**

Smithy led Kerry to his office; she couldn't help but wonder what was going on and why Smithy wanted to see her. As soon as they reached the Sergeant's office, Smithy closed the door behind them.

"Take a seat Kerry," he said gesturing his hand towards his chair.

Kerry sat down while Smithy took the other chair, brought it closer to Kerry and sat down.

"Is something wrong Serge?" Kerry asked.

"Eh probably," Smithy replied uneasily. "I don't know if you've heard but I've suspended PC Kent from duty."

Kerry's widened.

"Why?"

"I caught him assaulting Cameron in the locker room, so he's been suspended pending further enquiry."

"Is Cameron okay?"

"Yeah he's fine; he's with Inspector Gold now," Smithy explained. "But that's not exactly what I wanted to talk to you about."

Kerry felt worry flood up inside her; where was this conversation with her Sergeant going?

"Oh okay... what did you want to talk to me about?" She asked; Smithy could hear the nerves in her voice.

"Before the assault, I overheard a conversation between them that led to the assault and Cameron made a very serious allegation against Gabriel - he accused him of raping you."

Once Smithy had said what he said, Kerry showed panic in her face. Now Smithy knew; was that good or bad? Did he believe her? However, Smithy wasn't finished yet; there was more he had to tell.

"It after Cameron made that accusation that Gabriel assaulted him," he continued to explain. "But you see, when he assaulted him, he more or less admitted to the accusation - he admitted to Cameron that he raped you. So Kerry, if you ever want to talk to me about anything, you can - everything that's being between us right now is completely confidential. If you want to talk about this you can because he did do it, didn't he? I know what I heard."

Kerry remained silent - Gabriel admitted to Cameron that he raped her and Smithy overheard him; how would Gabriel be able to talk his way out this one? But then again, would it really make a difference? Or would no one still believe her after the allegation against Smithy? Kerry looked at Smithy and could see he wanted to help her, so she listened to what her conscience was telling her - that she should talk to him; it seemed like she could trust him. Tears were already welling up in her eyes and she found herself unable to hold it all in any longer.

"He knew no one would believe me," she finally began to speak. "Not when I'd already accused you; he knew I wouldn't press charges against him. I'm no position to make an official allegation against him."

Smithy looked on with great pity as he watched the tears pour down her face; he could see she needed his help and support. He knew he was her Sergeant, but he was also her friend so now was not the time to be completely professional.

"Hey shush, it's okay," he said as he held her hand and ran his other over her shoulder. "It's okay, you've done nothing wrong."

Nothing he said would ever change what had happened to her, but he knew words could help soothe her so he promised himself at that moment that he would help her. Even though he'd never admitted it, Smithy had feelings for Kerry and the last thing he wanted was for her to be sad and alone.

* * *

Just across the corridor in the Inspector's office was another important meeting, only this one was between Cameron and Gina. Gina was a very serious officer and Gabriel was not an officer she liked or trusted; now that he'd been seen assaulting a fellow officer, she was convinced that this would be when she'd finally be getting rid of him - that is if Cameron would do what she hoped he would.

"Sgt Smith has made it clear what he saw PC Kent do to you; if it wasn't serious, she wouldn't have suspended him," she explained to the Australian PC who was seated at her desk. "No of course, it is entirely up to yourself whether or not you want to pursue this or not and I'm sure you can guess what I'd love for you to do. So have you decided if you're going to press charges yet?"

"Well with respect Ma'am, I think this is probably worth not pursuing," Cameron answered to Gina's disappointment. "This was a personal matter between myself and PC Kent."

"Well it doesn't really matter," Gina explained. "It doesn't give him the right to assault you. Why don't you have a little think and then the end of the day, you can tell me what you'd like to do?"

"Ma'am." Cameron replied with a nod.

"Good, off you go."

Gina watched as the nervous Cameron got up off the chair and walked out of the office. Cameron didn't want to tell Gina everything without talking to Kerry first and by surprise, there she was right in front of him; he could see her sitting the Sergeant's office looking shattered and he wanted to go in, until he saw none other than Smithy hand her a drink of water and sat down in front of her as she took a gulp. Resisting the opportunity to interrupt, he walked away.

* * *

The Sergeant's office had more or less turned into the soft interview room in CSU and Smithy was taking DS Ramani DeCosta's place; Kerry was finding herself able to confide in him about the attack and he was listening to every single word she had to say.

"It was about six, seven weeks ago," Kerry explained through her tears to a horrified Smithy; it was time to tell the truth. "Gabriel gave me a lift home one night and I... I invited him in. I was expecting Cameron to come over that night but you… asked him to stay late. I offered Gabriel a cup of tea and then I was trying to straighten things out with him because he was upset about me getting engaged to Cameron and then he… he started coming onto me; saying that I came onto him and that I was leading him on. I told him to stop but he wouldn't! And then he… grabbed me, pushed me down onto the table, I… I couldn't fight him off, he was too strong! He was hurting...me... and I couldn't... stop him! I screamed at him... to get off me, I said no I meant no, but he pinned me down... and... he raped me!"

"Shush, shush Kerry shush, it's okay, it's okay." Smithy said consolingly as he gently ran his hand up and down her arm. "But why didn't you report this? Why didn't you tell me?"

"How? No one would believe me after I accused you; I mean Cameron didn't even believe me when I told him. Gabriel convinced him I had consented to have sex and I was just the girl that cries rape." Kerry sobbed. "But it's true this time; I'm not lying I promise, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!"

"Hey Kerry it's okay, everything's alright." Smithy assured her. "I know you're not lying."

"Gabriel knew no one would believe me too," she said. "He knew all along."

"What do you mean?"

"Gabriel... knew that because I accused you, I couldn't make an official allegation against him; he knew that... he would get away with it." She explained. "He got close to me, he pretended to be my friend... it was Gabriel that... encouraged me to accuse you Smithy."

"What? How?" Smithy asked attentively.

"He um..." Kerry struggled at the beginning. "He saw us kissing outside the pub the night we slept together and... he confronted me the next day asking if anything had happened between us. After that, he kept discussing it with me and... when I told him that I couldn't remember what happened, that's when he seized his opportunity."

"Why what did he do?" Smithy demanded, but Kerry remained silent for a moment. "Kerry?"

"He started saying things... He said... that because of the state I was in..." Kerry managed to find her voice. "Anyone could've... put me into a cab and brought me home with him. He made it seem that... I was in a worse state than you when I told him we were drunk. And then he said... that if I couldn't remember anything, then how did I know if I even said 'yes'?"

Smithy felt distraught at hearing all of this; Kerry never said that Gabriel had anything to do with the rape allegation against him. "And you believed him?"

"Talking to him about it made it all feel a lot clearer, that's the way it felt at the time." Kerry answered. "I mean... at the time I was just... so confused and vulnerable because I... I just couldn't believe that I cheated on Cameron. That's why nothing made sense because... I knew I would never have done something like that. It didn't take much to put doubt in my mind. But then... I decided not to make the allegation official. I decided I wanted to just put it all behind me and move on because it felt easier; I thought I only wanted Cameron. So I told Gabriel... but... he couldn't let it rest... so he spread the news around the relief. It was Gabriel who told everyone that you were a rapist! I never wanted to make it official I swear! I didn't even want Cameron to know! But... Gabriel left me with no choice... everyone found out and I had to make a decision. He manipulated me into believing... that... he was... one of the only friends I had left. It's like he was… grooming me. He's that sort of evil."

"You should've told Inspector Gold," Smithy said calmly.

"I know, I know. I didn't think I needed to because... I didn't know what he was really up to." Kerry said. "I thought he was just being my friend... but he was really playing a sick game with us! If I'd known what he was really up to, I would've said something! I'm sorry I ever believed him Smithy, I'm so sorry!"

"Hey, hey it's okay, it's alright," Smithy consoled her as he stroked her hand. "You haven't done anything wrong."

"I wanted to report him... but I couldn't..." Kerry sobbed. "I've tried everything I can but... he always crawls his way out.."

"What do you mean? What else has he done to you?" Smithy asked.

"He knew I couldn't do anything about his attack on me after I cried rape once and then dropped it - "no one's going to believe a dirty little slag like me" - that's what he said. If it wasn't bad enough for him to have raped me... he then... started to... mentally torture me; he's been taunting me ever since, he won't leave me alone! He keeps goading me constantly about how he's going to get away with raping me and there's nothing I can do. The truth is I'm scared of him Smithy; when he attacked me, I didn't think he was going to stop and I'm worried he's going to do it again."

Smithy couldn't believe all of this had happened to Kerry; he felt angry and blamed himself for what she had been through. Why hadn't he noticed that something was wrong? How did he not realise that she was hurting so much and why didn't he do more to help her? He knew he couldn't stand seeing her like this and he wouldn't let that monster get away with hurting her, for at that moment, Smithy promised himself that he would get his revenge for Kerry's sake.

"You did the right thing telling me this; none of this is your fault - it's all his fault, he had no right to do this to you." Smithy assured her. "So what are you going to do?"

"What can I do?" Kerry replied. "How can I press charges against him? No court's going to believe me now! I think it's fair to say that there's no case here; you've seen cases like this Smithy - I'm never going to see him behind bars."

"I understand," Smithy said nodding. "This is your decision; I can't make it for you. But at least let me help - you need support to help you get through all this and put it behind you. I can help make this get smaller and smaller for you until the day when it just won't be there anymore. So please Kerry, let me help."

Kerry just looked at him and couldn't understand; why was Smithy was being so supportive after all the difficulties they had been through together?

"Why are you doing all this Smithy?"

Smithy paused for a moment so that he could find the right words to say.

"Because I care about you. You need a lot of help and support; friends help each other. And I want you to know that I'm your friend Kerry, I'll always be here when you need someone."

Kerry could only look at Smithy as he smiled warmly at her, she had never realised that he cared about her so much. But she couldn't refuse his offer of friendship, for she needed a friend more than ever and he was there to give her support and comfort; all she needed to do was accept it. Finally, a smile lit up her face Smithy and seeing her smile made Smithy calm slightly so he didn't distress her too much.

"Okay," she said. "I accept your friendship offer, but just promise me you won't tell anyone about this!"

"Of course I won't tell anyone Kerry; it's not up to me."

"Thank you."

Smithy stroked her hand as she smiled at him.

"Why don't you take the rest of the day off?" He suggested. "Go home and get some rest; I'll come by and see you later after my shift."

Kerry hesitated at his suggestion; she still had to work.

"But what about...?"

"Leave that to me," Smithy cut her off. "But I don't think you should be working on that case anyway. I'll tell DS Nixon you weren't feeling well and I'll find another officer to take your place on the serial rapist case, okay?"

Kerry wasn't happy with what Smithy was saying, but saw he was right; she shouldn't have been working on that case after what she'd been through.

"Yeah okay, you're right." She said agreeing with him.

Smithy nodded in silence before speaking again.

"You go on home now and I'll see you later on, okay?"

Sure," Kerry replied. "Thanks Smithy."

Smithy smiled and opened the door for her. Kerry made her way to the female locker room, where she got changed into her normal clothes and then made her way through the corridors out into the yard. As she was walking down the ramp, she was interrupted by a voice calling her name.

"Kerry?"

Kerry turned around and saw Cameron running towards her; she decided to stop and listen to what he had to say.

"What did Smithy want?" He asked.

"He just wanted to talk." Kerry shrugged.

"Does he know?"

Kerry could only just look at him for she knew what he meant.

"So you finally believe me now?" She said firmly. "Now that Gabriel admitted it to you, you now believe me? We've done this Cameron; there's nothing to say."

"Kerry we need to talk; you can't ignore it," Cameron said as he stopped her from walking away. "Gabriel raped you and we need to report it."

"'We' Cameron? You're with Honey now remember?"

"Kerry come on; look I know I didn't believe you at first but..."

"Don't worry about it, alright?" Kerry cut him off. "It's my problem, I'm dealing with it my way."

Having saying all she had to say to him, Kerry turned on her heel and walked away from him out of the yard. Cameron could only watch her walk away; he knew he'd let her down very badly, but if Smithy did know, then what did it mean? Was Kerry going to fall into Smithy's arms now? Once she was out of sight, all Cameron could do now was turn around and make his way back into the station to finish his shift.


	4. Chapter 4: Two Men: One Woman

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Chapter 4: Two Men: One Woman

The rest of the day went by quietly for Smithy, Kerry and Cameron; there really had been a bit of drama what with Smithy suspending Gabriel from duty.

Smithy had instantly stuck his head back into work after sending Kerry home, but she was all he could think about. He was horrified about what had happened to her; how could he have let all this happen? How did he not see what was wrong? Why didn't he try helping her sooner, even if she didn't go to him? But he knew he couldn't sit around feeling angry with himself; Kerry needed him and he'd promised he would help her and there was no way he was ever going to back on that. Although he couldn't help blaming himself for all this. Smithy had never been completely honest about his true feelings for Kerry; he had been secretly in love with her for a long time, but had always failed to admit it. For whatever reason he couldn't explain, he'd never been able to pluck up the courage to tell her how much she really meant to him. The last time they slept together, he had hoped that something could've finally happened between them but instead, Kerry broke his heart by saying that there was no future for them and what happened that night was a mistake. It was even more heartbreaking for him when she accused him of raping her, but at least now, he knew what really caused all that; it pleased him knowing that it wasn't something she'd done on her own and he was still willing to forgive her. He wanted to tell her the truth, but even when he heard that she had broken up with Cameron, he still couldn't find it in him to do so. But now, he could see how much she needed him to there for her as her friend; he knew he couldn't tell her how he felt, for she was in a position where the last thing she needed was another man in her life and he didn't want to make the mistake of taking advantage of her again. As he kept drowning in his thoughts of her, he decided to get himself stuck back into his paper work and finish his shift.

* * *

Upon arriving home, the first thing Kerry did was treat herself to a hot, relaxing bath. After slipping out of her clothes and covering herself in her bathrobe, she made her way into the bathroom, blocked the plughole in the tub with the plug so nothing could escape past it and turned the tap that let out the hot water. As the clear water filled the base, she opened a bottle of bath oil and poured the lavender coloured liquid into the steaming water. Bubbles began to appear on the surface and Kerry turned the other tap that let out the cold water. As the bath continued to run, she turned to the mirror and tied up her blonde hair into a high enough bun and the point came where there was enough water to satisfy her. Turning both taps anti-clockwise, the running water disappeared and she dipped her fingertips in the now almost filled bath-tub. The temperature of the water was indeed to her liking, so she slipped out of her bathrobe and into the hot bubble bath. As the hot water soaked her soft skin, she leaned her head against the cool dry tube edge and let herself relax, though there were many thoughts running through her mind. Now Smithy knew her darkest secret, but unlike Cameron, he believed her, but would he have believed her if he hadn't have overheard Gabriel admitting to Cameron about the rape? Maybe that didn't matter because what was important was that he promised to help her get through all this turmoil; but yet why would he of all people want to help her? Was he trying to get close to her too? The last time she trusted someone, she was put through hell, so did she have to be cautious? But she realised she was overreacting; Smithy wasn't like that - she was tricked into believing he was when Gabriel persuaded her to accuse him of date-rape, but later realised that she knew him well enough to know that he was incapable of ever doing such a terrible thing. But it didn't stop her from feeling so guilty and ashamed for everything she put him through; she knew she should've known he could never do such a thing to her. She just wished more than anything that she had never listened to Gabriel because if she hadn't, none of all this would've happened. But yet despite it all, Smithy was still offering her friendship and his support after what she'd been through and she hadn't been able to refuse it; it made her feel happy knowing that she hadn't lost a true friend after all. Cameron had abandoned her and now Smithy was offering to help her; she just hoped she wasn't making the wrong choice in accepting him. She just lay back and relaxed as the lavender scented waters soaked and soothed her.

* * *

Cameron was sitting alone at a table in the canteen reading a newspaper, but he had other things on his mind. He felt wrecked with guilt for believing Gabriel over Kerry when she confided in him about the rape and now, Smithy knew and it seemed he was drawing closer to her. Kerry went straight after what happened to her, but he turned his back on her and believed she was lying after the incident with Smithy and later found comfort in PC Honey Harman, who was one of Kerry's best friends. He knew he should've believed her when she told him and because he didn't, their relationship ended; now that he believed her, was there a chance she could ever forgive him and could they give their relationship another try? But Smithy was in the picture now; Cameron knew that he did overhear Gabriel admitting to him about what he'd done to Kerry and he had offered her friendship and support, which is what Cameron should've done. Could this mean that Kerry would now fall into Smithy's arms? Had he truly lost her for good? Smithy always had been a rival for Kerry's affections, though that was something Cameron never knew, not even when she cheated on him when she and Smithy slept together. Would Kerry fall in love with Smithy if he did help her get through all this trauma? If she would, then maybe Cameron would have to step in and stop it from happening; he still loved Kerry and he knew he wanted her back, so maybe he would try after work by going to see her at home.

* * *

The end of both Smithy and Cameron's shifts finally arrived and the one to reach the locker room first was Smithy. By the time Cameron arrived, he was already halfway ready to go home; the Australian PC sussed out where his Sergeant was heading, so he decided to try and change quickly. But when he was halfway ready, he was interrupted by the sound of Smithy's phone ringing. Smithy took his phone and saw that it was Kerry who was calling him; he pressed the green button to answer while Cameron decided to listen in as he continued to change.

"Hello?" Smithy said as he held the phone up to his ear after answering the call. "Hey, you okay? Good; I've just finished my shift, so I'll be over as soon as possible; don't worry. Sure; I'll see ya in a bit. Bye."

Taking the phone away from his ear, he pressed the red button to hang up the call, put the phone into his jacket pocket, closed and locked his locker and headed out of the locker room. Cameron knew right away who had just phoned Smithy, so he quickly finished changing, closed and locked his locker and rushed out of the locker room in an attempt to catch up with Smithy. He managed to catch up with him as he was walking out the doors into the yard.

"Serge," Cameron managed to say when he'd caught up with him.

Smithy stopped walking and turned around to face him without saying anything.

"Where are you going?"

"Don't think it's any of your business PC Tait," Smithy replied sharply before trying to walk away.

"You're going to see Kerry aren't you?" Cameron shot back at him.

Smithy stopped walking again and turned to face the PC; he took a few steps towards him.

"Yeah, I'm going to see Kerry," Smithy answered. "I promised I'd drop in after work to make sure she's okay."

"So you know then?"

"Yeah, I know what Gabriel did to her and I know why you and her broke up; you turned your back on her and believed him?"

"Don't try and make it seem like you're the better man; would you have believed her?"

Smithy paused for a minute while looking at Cameron with mild poisonous looks in his eyes.

"I don't know how I would've reacted at first," he explained. "But I do know that I would've listened to what she had to say and I did; I listened to her and as I watched her pour out everything she's been through, I saw the look in her eyes and I knew she was telling the truth, which is more than I can say for you. How could you Cameron? How could you believe him over her? If it has anything to do with what happened between me and her, that should not be an excuse; there should be no excuses no matter what. She needs support and I promised her I'm going to help her get through this."

"You're only doing this so you can get close to her; so you can end up in bed with her again."

"No I'm doing this because I care about her; she doesn't need another man in her life right now, she just needs a friend and I'm that friend. You're not the only one who thinks the world of her; when you and her were together, every time I saw her with you, it made my stomach turn knowing that she could've been with me. Yeah I took advantage of her that night, but I am not going to make that same mistake twice. I am not going to turn my back on her, I'm going to keep letting her know that she has someone she can rely on and I am not going to let her go through this on her own. So if you'll excuse me, she's expecting me."

Cameron didn't say anything; he could only watch his sergeant turn away from him and walk down the ramp. As soon as Smithy was out of his sight, Cameron began to realise that maybe he was right - was Kerry going to fall in love with Smithy after all? But if she wasn't, was there a chance that she would take him back? Could she ever forgive him for not believing her? Curiosity was welling up inside him about could go on between Kerry and Smithy that evening; should he have followed his new rival back to his ex-girlfriend's house? Or would it have been best to just leave it?

* * *

Smithy finally pulled up outside 7 Miette Street, turning off the engine, getting out of his car and locking it behind him. As his feet crunched the millions of tiny stones on the ground below them, he reached the red door and rang the doorbell. Inside, Kerry was sitting on the sofa watching the TV. She heard the doorbell ring and hoped with all her heart it wasn't Gabriel; she was worried he would carry out his threat and come back to her house to hurt her again. Standing off the sofa, she turned off the television and walked out of the living room to the front door. She slowly unlocked and opened it, though only by a distance as she kept the locking chain in place; relief washed over her when she saw Smithy standing outside.

"Hi," he said when he saw her.

"Hi Smithy," Kerry answered as she let out a breath of relief; Smithy noticed right away how scared she looked.

"You alright?"

"Yeah I'm fine, come on in."

Kerry unlocked the locking chain and opened the door for Smithy to enter. She looked outside making sure that no one else was there before closing the door and locking it again; something else that Smithy noticed and Kerry saw the look on his face when she turned to face him.

"Sorry about that," she said shakily. "Just... I just get worried; it's for safety."

"Kerry, you don't have to hide it from me." Smithy gently assured her as she walked towards him.

She remained silent for a moment as the tears began welling up in her blue eyes that were no longer bright.

"Today... he said he might come round again," she explained. "He said he would come round again one night and... he would..."

She couldn't finish the sentence; the tears got the beter of her. They took control and she give in and let them fall from her eyes. Smithy knew what he had to do at that moment.

"Come here," he said in a loving way as he wrapped his arms around Kerry, enveloping her in a protective hug. "He was trying to make you more scared; he won't come near this flat again - I promise I will not let him hurt you ever again."

"Thank you."

Kerry stayed there in Smithy's embrace for a few moments more, until they broke apart when Smithy broke the silence.

"Hey why don't you go and sit down and I'll make us some tea?"

"Sure," Kerry said looking up at him.

Smithy smiled and then made his way towards the kitchen, with Kerry slowly following him. He had been in Kerry's flat before, so Smithy knew his way around the place; he knew where Kerry kept her mugs, plates, bowls and everything else in her kitchen. As he turned on the switch to let the water in the filled up kettle boil, he heard Kerry's voice from behind speak out softly.

"This is where it happened."

He turned around to look at her.

"What?"

"It happened here in this very room on that very table," she explained as she went white as a ghost. "I try not to think about when I come in here, but the memory just takes over and it gets bigger every time I see him."

Tears took control over her again and Smithy rushed to wrap her in his arms.

"Shush don't cry," he said gently. "I promise you Kerry in time, this will get smaller and smaller for you; why don't you just go and wait for me in the living room, I'll be right in."

Kerry silently nodded to the kind look on his face and in his eyes before walking back to the sofa she had been resting on when Smithy arrived. Her fingers were of course not enough to wipe away her clear warm tears, so she picked up a soft tissue to clean up her delicate face. She sat there in the same place, drowning in her thoughts until she was no longer alone; Smithy finally entered carrying two mugs of hot tea.

"Here you go," he said as he handed one of the mugs to her.

"Thanks," she replied as she carefully took a sip.

Smithy put his mug down on the coffee table in front of them, removed his jacket and then sat down beside Kerry; he took a sip of tea himself before setting the mug back on the table.

"So do you know what you're going to do about everything?" He asked Kerry.

"I don't know, I mean I know I can't make an official allegation." Kerry replied as she turned to look at him. "Do you really think I can put Gabriel behind bars for this? What court's going to believe me after what happened with you? Who's going to believe my word over Gabriel's?"

"I'm not here to try and force you into making it official," Smithy assured her as he wrapped his arm around her. "This is completely your decision and I'm only here so that you have someone to support you throughout all this. I'm not going to be angry with you if you don't make it official; I can't make your decision for you. If you've made up your mind to not pursue this, that's okay; you'll still have me, I'm not going to make the same mistake as Cameron. I'm not going to abandon you."

Kerry could only stare at him as she could see such care and truth in his eyes; she couldn't understand any of this. Following recent events, she thought Smithy would've been the last person who would've wanted to help her. But she was grateful to him for offering her such pure friendship and she knew that he wasn't pretending anything; she could see very clearly that he meant everything he said.

"Why are you doing all this Smithy?" She innocently asked. "What did I ever do to deserve all this?"

"Of course you deserve all this Kerry," Smithy replied. "You are the victim in all of this; you have done nothing wrong - you don't deserve to be left alone, you need someone and you have me. You deserve good friends and you need a friend, well I'm that friend; I'm here to help you."

"Because friends help each other?"

"Yeah, they do."

Kerry felt tears stinging her eyes again, only this time, they were tears of happiness.

"Thank you Smithy." She said and before Smithy knew it, Kerry wrapped her arms around him and enveloped him into a hug.

Smithy tried not to enjoy having Kerry in his arms again, but he found himself unable to help it. He tightened his arms around her easily and buried his face in her long blonde hair; the smell of her scent was torturing him as his longing to be with her rose, but he knew he had to fight it. As they pulled out of the hug, Kerry found herself unable to stop looking at Smithy and all of a sudden, she leaned in closer and kissed him. Forgetting himself for a moment, Smithy gave into the kiss and began getting more and more lost in the moment, but someone was watching them from the window outside. Cameron could only stare in at what was happening between his Sergeant and his ex-girlfriend, until he was finally unable to watch it anymore. He quickly turned away from the sight that was tearing him apart and quickly walked away without turning back. Smithy just held Kerry in his arms as the kiss became more and more intimate, until he suddenly realised what he was doing.

"No, no," he said as he broke his lips away from hers; Kerry just looked at him wanting to know what was wrong. "You don't need this, not now, not after everything that's happened."

"What are you saying?" She innocently asked.

"Leaping right into another relationship, it's not what you need; not now anyway."

"I'm sorry..."

"No, no don't be," he said softly. "You're in a confused state of mind and this isn't the way to make it better; it'll just make it worse. I think maybe the best way that your state of mind can get better is if you get some professional help; you should think about getting some counselling because it'll help. I'm not going to turn my back on you, I promise; I'm still going to be here for you, I just think this would be the best way for you to deal with all this because another man in your life isn't what you need, not now anyway."

As he spoke, Kerry listened attentively and realised just how right he was; another relationship wasn't what she needed and maybe professional help was the only way she could come to terms with everything, although having Smithy around was seemingly making a difference already.

"You right," she finally said. "Another relationship isn't what I need; I just don't want to be on my own."

"You won't be on your own," Smithy said as he held her hand. "I promise you - you are not going to go through this on your own anymore, alright?"

"Yeah," Kerry replied nodding. "And I think you're right; I think I will get some counselling if it will help."

"It will help, it will because those people are professionally trained to help people who have been through traumas like you; all you need to do is tell them everything."

"Yeah, thanks Smithy; you're a true friend."

Smithy smiled as he saw a smile light up Kerry's beautiful face; he was delighted to see her brighten up for he never wanted to see her upset.

"I'll tell you what; why don't I cook us something for dinner?" He suddenly suggested.

"Eh..." Kerry wasn't sure how to react to this friendly suggestion. "Yeah okay; any specials in mind?"

"Well let's see what you've got," he said sarcastically as he took Kerry by the hand, stood up off the sofa and lead her back into the kitchen.


	5. Chapter 5: Time To Talk

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**Chapter 5: Time To Talk**

The next day was one that was trying to be made normal; Kerry came back into work, although Smithy felt that maybe she should be at home resting. But he knew she wasn't in any fit state to be argued with after recent ordeals, so the best thing he could do was respect her wishes. Besides, Kerry found it better to be working rather than staying at home because it gave her something else to focus on and she was eventually able to realise that she was grateful to Smithy for taking her off the serial rapist case; Sheelagh Murphy had been asked to take her place and she accepted. Smithy made sure that from now on, she would be paired up with someone who actually was her friend, although Gabriel was still on suspension and wouldn't be returning to work unless Cameron made up his mind to charge him for assault. Smithy had assigned for Kerry to work in CAD that day because he knew it would be best if she just took it easy and she agreed with him; she knew he was only helping her and she didn't want to argue with him. However, Cameron had noticed the apparent closeness between them and the sight of them kissing was still burning into his thoughts; it seemed that Smithy was doing everything he should've done and it was too late to fix it all. Refs break finally came and Kerry made her way to the canteen. Picking up a cup of tea, she took a seat at an empty table and when it seemed that she was going to be spending refs on her own, the door opened and in walked Smithy. Silently nodding at Kerry with a smile, he picked up a cup of tea and joined her.

"How are you feeling?" He asked as soon as he sat down opposite her.

"Yeah fine thanks," she asked after taking a sip of her tea.

"How's everything in CAD?" He felt he should brighten up the mood.

"Usual," she said with a shrug and a smile. "So many incidents being called in and I wouldn't mind being out there trying to deal with myself."

They both lightly laughed at her sarcastic complaint at being stuck in the station all day.

"Hey I promise you'll be back out on the streets tomorrow," Smithy said. "I just think it's probably best that you take it easy for now."

"Yeah I know, you're right; I'm actually fine with working in CAD and I am grateful that you took me off the serial rapist case."

"Well," he put his hand on her wrist. "It's not really the best way for you to deal with all this is it?"

"No I guess not," Kerry replied.

Out in the corridor, Cameron was walking towards the canteen for his own refs break, but as he approached the doors, something suddenly made him stop. Looking through the windows, he saw Kerry and Smithy sitting together talking and laughing and he could also see Smithy's hand on Kerry's wrist. Could it have happened? Did what he see the previous night go beyond a kiss? Did they sleep together? He could feel all the jealousy swell up inside of him as he looked in on them, he only wished he knew what they were saying for he couldn't find it in him to go in and interrupt them. Instead, he froze and just looked on in at them.

"You know I really have to say you seem a little bit like your old self again," Smithy explained to Kerry.

"You think so?" She asked looking unconvinced.

"Well yeah because you're smiling a lot more than you have been lately."

"Maybe you've done something to help me be like me again," she suggested.

Smithy remained silent for a moment, until he finally said something again.

"Do you still want to see a counsellor?" He asked.

"Well..." Kerry struggled with the answer she would give. "You were right when you said professional help is good, so yeah I think I will still get some counselling."

"Well good," Smithy replied nodding. "Why don't you come to my office after refs and we'll talk about it?"

"Yeah sure, thanks."

Smithy nodded in silence.

"Well I have to go now, but I'll see you in s bit."

"Sure," Kerry replied before he got up off his seat and walked out of the canteen.

After only a minute or so, Kerry finally finished her tea and got herself ready to leave the canteen. As soon as she was out in the corridor, she was walking straight for the Sergeant's office until someone stopped her.

"So where are you off to?"

It was Cameron. Kerry wasn't at all impressed with his attitude.

"I'm sorry?" She answered with annoyance present in her voice.

"I saw you with Smithy earlier," Cameron said as he looked at her. "The both of you were looking very friendly."

"I'm not your concern Cameron," Kerry spat back at him. "We're broken up remember?"

She started walking away from him, when his voice interrupted her again.

"So you slept with him then?"

Immediately, she turned around to look at him in disgust.

"What?"

He started walking towards her and then finally stopped in front of her.

"I went round to your place last night and I saw you kissing him through the window," he explained.

When she heard this, Kerry felt utter disgust with him.

"What were you doing at my place? And it's none of your business; he's helping me, he's doing everything you should've done! Just leave me alone alright?"

Cameron had nothing left to say; it was clear, he'd blown his chances with her because he let her down when she needed him the most. He could only just watch her walk away from until she was out of his sight. Cameron had no right to confront her like that - he'd abandoned her when she needed him and Kerry wasn't sure if she'd forgive him, but she did know now that she would never take him back. She'd been hopeful that he wouldn't have hurt her like Luke had, but he did and she could feel herself drifting away from him for sure. As she walked through the corridors, she finally came to Smithy's office and he invited her in right away when he saw her. He closed the door behind her.

"So what did you want to talk about?" She asked.

"Well in terms of you getting some counselling," he said. "The refuge offers professional help, so I was going to suggest if you want to head down there now and arrange something, I'll take you down there myself."

Kerry heard what he said, but remained silent; would it have been a good idea for her to go back to the refuge? Smithy took notice of her silence right away.

"What is it?"

"I've already been to the refuge," she answered. "The morning after it happened, I went there and they examined me; they took all the details. That's why I was late for work that day."

Smithy's eyes widened.

"You had a medical exam?"

"Yeah; I thought that was probably the best thing to do so I'd have some evidence at least."

"Well this really can help," Smithy said. "If you have medical evidence, then this can help you."

He felt very confident that Kerry could get Gabriel behind bars after all, but the look on Kerry's face said otherwise.

"No Smithy," she said shaking her head. "Even with medical evidence, it's still his word against mine. No court's going to believe me; I'm still at a dead end with all this. I'm never going to see him behind bars, so the best thing I can do is try to let this get smaller and smaller until it's not there anymore, isn't it?"

Smithy looked at her and saw the look in her eyes; he knew that she still felt she couldn't report it, he couldn't force her to.

"Hey come here," he said as he wrapped his arms around her. "I understand; you don't have to make it official if you don't want to, but the people at the refuge won't force you either, they'll just try to help you. So why don't you just go and talk to someone there?"

Kerry saw the kind look in Smithy's eyes and saw that he meant well with this suggestion.

"Yeah you're right," she finally said. "I'll go and talk to someone there."

"Good for you; how about I take you down there after the shift?"

"Yeah sure thanks."

"Okay, why don't you get back to work for now? Help take your mind off things."

"Sure, I'll see you later."

"Yeah," Smithy said nodding as Kerry made her way out of the office and back to CAD.

* * *

The last few hours of the shift drifted by and finally, came to an end. As soon as the shift was over, Kerry and Smithy headed to the locker rooms, changed into their normal clothes and made their way out into the yard. Smithy was the first one out and was waiting for Kerry to arrive, until she finally did.

"Hey," he said as he greeted her. "You ready to go?"

"Yeah I'm ready," she replied.

"Okay, let's go."

Smithy lead Kerry out of the yard to his car and opened the door on the passenger's side for her to climb in before climbing into the driver's side. Closing the door and turning the key in the ignition, he drove away from the nick and in the direction of the rape refuge centre.

* * *

After a 15 minute drive, they finally arrived. Smithy parked the car, got out and opened the door on Kerry's side for her to get out herself. Seeing the centre again made Kerry think of how helpful they'd all been when she was there as a victim of rape, so maybe Smithy was right in convincing her to go back to them for more help. Smithy wrapped his arm around her and they both headed inside; the place was exactly the same as it had been when Kerry had last been there. Smithy spoke to the woman at reception and stated that they were here for counselling, so they were both asked to take a seat and wait. After a few minutes, the woman who had helped Kerry when she came saw her sitting next to Smithy and recognised her. She walked up to them and began talking to Kerry.

"Hello," she said. "Have you decided to pursue with your attack?"

"No I," Kerry answered. "I'm actually here for counselling."

"Oh okay, no problem," her eyes fell on Smithy. "Is this your partner?"

"No, no I'm just a friend," Smithy was the one to answer that question, although his answer wasn't what he wanted it to be.

"Okay, well if you'd just like to follow me," she suggested to Kerry.

Kerry looked at Smithy and he smiled.

"Go on, it'll be okay," he assured her.

Kerry stood up off her seat and followed the woman into a room. Smithy stayed where he was and just watched them walk away, hoping that everything would be alright.

* * *

Smithy kept waiting in reception; he didn't want to leave Kerry there on her own. As the minutes went by slowly, he walked around the reception area looking at all the notice boards and booklets for support to victims of sexual assault. To think that Kerry was one of those women tore him apart and he was determined more than ever to keep her safe from every sort of danger there was. As he sat down again, he started to think if there was any other way he could protect her and if there was, would she accept it if he offered it to her? An hour had passed since Kerry had gone into the counselling session and finally, the door to the room opened and out she came with the woman who had brought her in. Smithy stood up off his seat right away.

"Thanks for your help," Kerry said.

"Oh no problem," the woman replied with kindness. "Feel free to come back for another session."

"I will thanks again."

The woman made her way into one of the rooms while Kerry walked towards Smithy.

"How did it go?" He asked.

"Fine, let's go."

Smithy could see that she was in a rush to get out of there as he watched her head towards the car. When he reached the car, he unlocked it and she opened the door on her side and climbed while he climbed in on his side. He could see she was looking distressed; had he made the wrong choice in suggesting she get some counselling.

"Is everything alright?" He asked.

"Yeah," she replied. "It's just the way I poured out so much in there and she was really supportive; she assured me that none of this was my fault."

"Well she's right, it's not your fault."

"But I don't know if I want to go home; I don't want to be on my own. The thought of being alone in that house again, I just don't think I can."

An idea suddenly came to Smithy's mind as he listened to her, but he wasn't sure if he should ask her if she would like to accept it because he didn't want to scare her. But he realised that he was her last hope, so maybe this was the only good offer she could get from someone who would never harm her.

"Well if it helps," he said. "You could always come and stay with me for a while."

Kerry looked at him; her blue eyes widened with surprise.

"What? Are you serious?"

"Well yeah, if it's what you need. I have a spare room; you can have it if you like. Don't feel that you need to say yes, it's there if you need it."

Kerry knew why Smithy was doing this; he was just trying to help her for he was a true friend, she'd said so herself. Being asked to move in with him was a big shock, but maybe it would help more and she suddenly couldn't see any harm in it.

"You know what?" She said. "Okay."

"Okay?" Smithy replied with his eyes widening.

"Yeah, maybe that will help. I mean I trust you Smithy and I know you'll never hurt me, so yeah I'll come and stay with you. But I'll need to get a couple of things first."

"Sure, no problem." Smithy said as he turned the key in the ignition. "Let's go."

Kerry smiled back at him and he drove them out of the car park and in the direction of Kerry's flat. Once they arrived, Kerry packed some suitcases and Smithy helped put them into his car before driving them both off to his own flat.


	6. Chapter 6: A Warning From A Strong One

**Chapter 6: A Warning From A Strong One**

The sun shone through the curtains that were covering the glass windows and a figure lying in the bed in that very room began to stir as the morning shone in on her. Kerry's eyes softly opened and she rolled over onto her back as she stretched her arms and rubbed the sleepiness away from her eyes. After managing to sit herself up, she climbed out of the warm bed and made her way through the flat and into the kitchen, but she wasn't the only person there.

"Morning," Smithy said greeting her as he handed her a cup of coffee.

"Thanks," she said taking the hot mug from him.

She was used to seeing Smithy in the morning after living with him for just over a week. She had settled in with him really well and was enjoying having him as a flatmate; they had good fun in the evenings when they got home from work by watching TV over a few drinks and joking about anything that had happened in work that day. Kerry really was getting used to having a flatmate and was beginning to consider staying there with Smithy permanently, but she wasn't sure if he would approve of the idea. But there she was very wrong. Smithy was thrilled having Kerry live with him and would love for her to stay, but he knew that he couldn't ask her out at that point in time; like he said, another relationship wasn't what she needed. In time, she would eventually be ready to let another man into her life and when that day would come, he knew that he would not waste another moment longer than to be with her. Right now, all he needed to do was to be her friend and help her get through this slowly. But he couldn't help notice that she already seemed to be getting a lot better faster than he'd thought. She'd already had two counselling sessions at the refuge and step by step, she was getting herself back on track; the bright and cheerful look in her eyes was coming back and she was laughing and smiling like she used to. It made Smithy very happy knowing that she was recovering from her traumas, but it made Kerry happier because all the trust and confidence she once had in herself was coming back and she knew it was all down to Smithy and his help; what would have happened if he hadn't overheard Gabriel confessing the rape to Cameron? Although, there was a problem that Kerry would have to face today and Smithy could see the look of anxiety on her face as she sat down on the table with her coffee and took a piece of toast that Smithy had just buttered.

"Are you still worried about Gabriel?" He asked as he joined her at the table.

"Well yeah," Kerry said looking at her coffee. "I'm trying not to be, but I can't help it."

"There's no harm in that; you've every right to be scared and worried - you've done nothing wrong. If he gives you any bother, just come straight to me and I'll deal with him, okay?"

"What you think you telling him off will fix things?"

"I've already suspended him haven't I?" Smithy pointed out. "That is enough to make people like him worried that they could get into even more deep water with people like me watching them. I did promise to help you but in order to do that, I need you to let me."

Kerry looked at him and could see that he meant well; after all, he was Gabriel's sergeant and he did have more power in the job so maybe this was to her advantage.

"You're right; okay, if he bothers me I'll let you know," she said.

"Good on you," Smithy assured her as he rubbed her wrist with his hand before they continued eating their small breakfast.

By the time they were finished eating, they were already getting washed and dressed, although one of them had to wait for their turn to use the bathroom; probably the only annoying part of living with someone in a home with just one bathroom. But by the time they'd both got their turn, they were dressed and ready to get to work and so, out the door of the flat they went and into Smithy's car where he would drive them to their destination of Sun Hill Police Station.

* * *

At Sun Hill Nick that day, PC Kent was back from suspension, but hardly anybody was talking to him; assaulting Cameron was obviously enough to make them disgusted with him and his actions. Once everyone had arrived and were changed into their uniform, they headed to the briefing room to be given their jobs for the day. Gina was the one to give out orders and Smithy was to be her assistant. Everyone listened attentively as they were given their posts; Kerry was happy to be paired with Tony in Sierra One - she felt a bit of action would do her some good as it would help keep her mind off things. However, not every body's name had been called out and the one name that had been excluded was finally called out at the end of the list; it even seemed that Gina had been practising how she was going to say what needed to be said here.

"PC Kent..." Gabriel instantly shot his head up and looked at her with nervous looks in his eyes.

"Seeing as this is your first day back from suspension, you will be bound to the station grounds today writing up any reports or other form of paperwork that needs to be done and do try to keep out of trouble," she said with a tone of pleasure in her voice; it pleased Gina to be punishing PC Kent for behaving in such an unacceptable manner.

After a few other words, everyone was dismissed and sent out to do their duties. As they were all leaving the briefing room, Smithy approached Kerry out in the corridor with Cameron and Gabriel noticing.

"Are you alright?" Smithy asked her in a quiet tone.

"Yeah I'm fine," she replied. "A bit of action will help me keep my mind off things."

"Good, well like I said if you have any problems or if anyone gives you any grief, just come to me okay?"

"Yeah, thanks."

"Well I'll see you later," Smithy said and she turned on her heel and walked out of the corridor to join Tony outside in the area car.

But as Smithy turned around, his eyes fell on the two PCs who looked greatly interested in the conversation he'd just had with Kerry. Luckily, he knew what to say to stop them from interfering any longer.

"PC Tait, aren't you supposed to be out on patrol with PC Harman?" He asked Cameron with a proud voice.

Cameron stayed silent for a minute with a look of angst on his face before finally saying something.

"Yes serge."

"So then off you go," Smithy said firmly and Cameron went on his way.

But Gabriel was still there and Smithy wasn't going to let him of people get the better of him or Kerry or anyone for that matter. He looked at him with powerful looks before taking a few steps towards him.

"You, my office, I want a word with you," he said in a vicious manner.

Gabriel was too worried to ignore the order so he followed Smithy down the corridors to the Sergeant's office. Smithy shut the door behind them and the first thing Gabriel tried to do was make it seem that everything was completely normal.

"Is there something wrong Serge?" He asked with a forced innocent tone, but Smithy wasn't fooled.

"Don't try and play the innocent with me Kent," Smithy shot back at him. "You might have gotten away with it this time, but that's not going to stop you from getting a bad reputation. So as long as you're here, I'm going to be keeping a very sharp eye on you and I don't want you going anywhere near PC Young. If I see you anywhere near her, I'll make sure that I'll have you and your job the next time you do anything slightly dodgy! Now get out of my sight before I throw up!"

With that, Gabriel couldn't find it in him to say anything to the one officer so he turned around, opened the door and walked out of the office leaving Smithy to take a seat at his desk and get on with some paperwork. Being suspended had obviously effected him because he didn't feel much power anymore and that speech from Smithy just deepened his fears of losing everything he had gained all the times he had abused his position and his colleagues. Before he'd done whatever he liked and covered his tracks, but now he felt scared to do anything out of line and he knew that he had to take caution to the wind if he didn't want Smithy or Gina or anyone for that matter on his tail. It seemed that PC Kent was already paying the price for most of the things he'd done because he had a much more powerful and stronger officer on his trail and his back.


	7. Chapter 7: Out Of Friendship Or Love?

**Chapter 7: Out Of Friendship Or Love?**

The week went by and Kerry had certainly seemed to have gotten herself back into shape, performing good police work as ever and being able to communicate with her friends the way she had been before the terrible trauma that had put her through absolute turmoil. But the biggest turn around was how well she had settled in with her new flatmate; she had really come to enjoy living with Smithy and felt closer to him than ever and she was really considering making her stay with him permenant, but she couldn't find it in her to tell him. She was beginning to realise that her relationship with Smithy was becoming very special and she didn't want to ruin it by scaring him, but was she realising that maybe she wanted more from him just friendship? Despite everything they'd been through together in terms of trying to have a relationship, Kerry had always known that part of her felt so much for Smithy and something was certainly rising up from the depths of her heart after the way he'd been so kind to her in her time of need. He had certainly been a really good friend to her and she knew that he wasn't pretending because he was never one to pretend anything; he was one who really cared and her eyes had really opened to the fact that he truly cared about her. Ever since their relationship had become what it now was, she finally felt safe again wherever she went and whenever she came into work, she no longer felt worried or scared that Gabriel would come anywhere near her because she had someone to protect her and keep her safe; she felt like the old Kerry again and it was all down to the good friend she had finally found in Smithy.

Smithy, on the other hand, was trying very hard to balance the two sides he had of himself; his Sergeant side and his true feelings for Kerry. Being the good police officer that he was, he would act professional in work towards Kerry in front of others, but in a gentle way and it was when they were outside of work that he would show his other half; the half that was known as "one of the lads". He and Kerry had spent two nights at the pub with their friends from work for a social event after their shifts were over and spent the rest of their nights off back at the flat where they would have a laugh over anything that had happened that same day over a few drinks and a movie. Smithy had become used to having a flatmate, though he was probably more joyous because it was Kerry but yet he wanted more than just living with her. The way he truly felt about her was more than everyone realised; he was in love with her and he wanted her to know how much he truly cared and why he wanted to protect her so much. Even though he still couldn't pluck the courage to tell her the truth, he still wanted to be her friend and he still wanted to help keep her safe and maybe one day when the time was better, he would finally tell her how much she truly meant to him. But now was not the best time after everything she'd been through, so he knew that the best thing he could do for her was to fulfill his promise to her.

It seemed that Smithy's firm warning to Gabriel had worked; the evil PC hadn't dared to go anywhere near Kerry ever since Smithy's little talk with him, although this was mostly due to the fact that Smithy was now keeping a very close watch on Gabriel - he made sure that when Kerry was out on patrol, Gabriel was in the station; when Kerry was in the station, Gabriel was out on the beat and when they were in the briefing room for a briefing or in the canteen for refs, Smithy always made sure he was there to intercede Gabriel's attempt to go anywhere near Kerry. Smithy was indeed doing a really good job at keeping at them well apart and Gabriel knew that with Smithy on his back all the time, it was impossible for him to play any of his twisted mind games with anybody, not even with Cameron as Smithy also made sure that Gabriel was kept well away from Kerry's ex-boyfriend as it was possible that he would try and taunt Cameron too after he assaulted him in the locker room. Gabriel was actually beginning to accept that it was hopeless; Smithy was more powerful and stronger than him in everyway and the more he was kept away from Kerry and Cameron, the more power he was losing everyday. He knew it was close to reaching the point where he would have no power and control over her anymore and there was nothing he could do to gain it all back this time, not with an obstacle like Smithy standing in his way.

As for Cameron, he could see everything that Smithy was doing and he was grateful to him, but, at the same time, resentful. Kerry hardly spoke to him anymore and he saw how much she was really enjoying Smithy's company and how close they now seemed. He knew that he still loved Kerry, but she'd made it clear that she would not take him back after the way he let her down when she needed him the most; he'd had his chance with her and he blew it, so he just had to accept that and move on just like she was clearly moving on from him.

* * *

It was the Saturday evening of that week, both Kerry and Smithy had just finished their shifts and were off for a quite drink together at the Seven Bells. As soon as they arrived, they took up a table for them to share and Smithy was the one to fetch the drinks.

"A pint of larger and a white wine please mate," he said to the bartender.

As he waited for a few short seconds for the drinks, he looked over at Kerry and thought of what he was intending to ask her that night. But of course, he didn't wish to frighten her; he just thought this would help her during her healing of her trauma and although he convinced himself he was wanting to do it as a friend, he knew that he was really wanting to do it out of love. He just couldn't let her know that, at least not yet. His thoughts were then interrupted by the sound of the bartender's voice and he turned around to face him.

"Cheers mate," he said as he paid the man, took the two ready drinks and walked back over to Kerry.

"Thanks," she said as she took her wine and sipped it.

Smithy sat down and took a gulp of his beer before setting it down on the table, though he struggled to find the right words to say in order to begin the conversation he wanted to have with her, but then he noticed the look on her face.

"You alright?"

"Yeah I'm fine," she replied. "I was just thinking about what happened the last time we here."

"Oh," he said in an awkward tone of voice. "I am really sorry about that night; I know I should never done what I did and I know I did take advantage of you. I promise I won't do it again."

"It's okay," Kerry said shaking her head. "I'm the one who's sorry because what I did was a whole lot worse; I should never have listened to Gabriel and I should never have hurt you the way I did, but I swear I never wanted to!"

"Hey, hey," Smithy cut her off gently as he put his hand on hers. "It's alright, it's not your fault. You didn't know what you were doing; he got you completely under his influence because you were vulnerable and like you said, you didn't know what he was really up to. Look that accusation is all in the past now and that's where it's going to stay; I just want to put it behind me and I know you can do the same."

Kerry could only look into his soft, kind eyes and she found herself liking the feeling of his hand on hers. If he could put something like that behind him, then she could too. After all, she was putting a lot behind her with the help of others and Smithy was one of those people; he may not have been helping her from the very beginning, but he'd still been helping and that was what mattered. Her eyes fell onto his hand that was on hers and used her free hand to take hold of it.

"You're right," she said smiling. "I can and I will."

Smithy's heart began beating like a mad drum inside as he looked at Kerry smiling at him while her hand was holding his. He found himself so drawn by the look on her face and her eyes that he wanted to kiss her, but he knew he couldn't; he knew he had to resist again, even though it killed him to do so. Suddenly, as if by chance, he decided to ask her what he'd wanted to.

"Kerry," he started off sounding nervous. "I was talking to my mum earlier and I was asking her if I could use this beach house that we have in Cornwall; she usually goes down there a lot and me, her, my brother and my dad used to go down there when we were kids and before my dad turned to booze. I'm planning to go down there for a week and I was wondering if you wanted to join me."

Kerry's eyes widened when he'd finished and he noticed right away, especially when she took her hand away from his.

"It's just if you would like a holiday and because I really have enjoyed living with you these past two weeks, so it's just a friendly suggestion because I thought it might help if you got away from Sun Hill for a little while and the beach is a great place to relax and enjoy yourself. I didn't mean to alarm you, I was just wondering if it was what you needed and if it is, you're more than welcome to join me."

Kerry stayed silent for a few moment trying to think of what to say; Smithy was offering her a holiday with him so she could get away from Sun Hill for a while, but she was asking herself what his true intentions could've been. When she looked at him, she knew that she knew him well enough to know that he would never hurt her and he was her friend; maybe this offer wasn't as bad as it may have seemed. The though of being at the beach made her happy as it is a place where you can feel relaxed and enjoy yourself and maybe she did need a short holiday to help herself get back into shape completely. As she looked at Smithy, she could only see kindness and sincere in his eyes and felt no wrongful doings in accepting this offer.

"Okay," she replied.

Smithy's eyes widened at her answer.

"Okay?"

"Yeah, I'd love a holiday at the beach; I think it'll really do me some good, thank you."

"No problem," Smithy said. "I'll inform the Inspector of our plans first thing tomorrow and hopefully, she'll grant us leave for a week."

He than took his pint and lifted it as Kerry did the same with her glass of wine.

"Cheers," he said and she replied the same as they gently tapped their glasses together before drinking from them.


	8. Chapter 8: The Holiday

**Chapter 8: The Holiday**

The long journey was almost at its end; Kerry sat in the passenger's seat drinking the rest of her water, while Smithy was the driver for their long journey from London to Cornwall. Gina had granted their request for a week off the previous day and they had been travelling since seven o'clock of the morning, but luckily they didn't have to travel for much longer now. As they both looked at the view ahead of them, the ocean was in sight and the smell of the salty water could already be smelt; the view was beautiful from where they were. They were safely in Cornwall and now Smithy was just bringing them to the beach house he had told Kerry about; he was still hoping that he'd done the right thing inviting her on the trip and he was still trying very hard to not take advantage of her again.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Kerry said as the view of the ocean came more into sight. "I guess you were right; no better place to go to other than the beach."

"Well it was the best place I could think of and I always liked it down here," Smithy said as he kept driving on past all the fields, towns and houses that were in sight.

They came arrived at the village of Perranporth, which they drove through until they were driving up along one of the many cliffs of the county; the cliff had such an incredible view of the beach below and there were some, but not many beach houses and cottages. Kerry couldn't decide which one she liked the best; they were all very pretty. Finally, Smithy switched on the indicator and turned into a small white cottage that overlooked the whole beach. As soon as he stopped the car, he and Kerry unbuckled their seat-belts and climbed out of the car; Kerry could see that this house was often used because it was clearly in good condition.

"So what do you think?" Smithy asked as he walked up to her.

"It's beautiful," Kerry answered.

"My mum usually comes down here every year when she needs a break," Smithy explained. "She always makes sure it's kept in good order and of course, I'm always here to help her. Shall we go inside?"

"Sure."

Smithy opened the car boot and unloaded the several bags that had been put inside; Kerry took her bags, Smithy carried his own and they walked up to the front door. Smithy took a key from his pocket, turned it in the lock and opened the door.

"After you," he politely said to Kerry.

"Thanks," she said and she walked inside first.

As soon as she was inside, her eyes widened; the interior of the house was not what she expected for everything looked brand new.

"Oh wow!" She gasped as she looked around.

"Mum recently had it refurbished," Smithy explained. "Good thing she did; the whole place was falling apart; everything was changed - new kitchen, new bathrooms, new floors, new wall colours, new doors, new windows, new terrace and new furniture of course."

"It's really well done; it's beautiful," Kerry's eyes then fell on a framed photograph of a younger looking Smithy dressed in a soldier's uniform; she picked it up. "Is this you?"

Smithy looked over at what she was referring to and saw the photograph in her hands; he walked over to her to get a closer look.

"My first day as a soldier; seems like a million years ago now." He looked at Kerry for a moment and then changed the subject. "Why don't I show you where you'll be sleeping?"

Kerry turned around to look at him.

"Yeah sure," she said before putting the photo back onto the table and following Smithy through to a what looked like the main bedroom; it had a large French window that gave a beautiful view of the beach, pale blue painted walls, a brand new beautiful wooden floor, beautifully crafted wooden bedroom furniture and a large double bed with a white duvet set. There was also a second door that lead into a glittering white en suite bathroom.

"What do you think?" Smithy asked as she looked explored the place.

"It's amazing," she gasped. "It's almost like you planned all of this."

Smithy didn't say anything to that comment.

"Well I'll leave you to pack and we can go out for some lunch and then maybe for a walk," he suggested.

"Yeah sure that'd be great; I'll let you know when I've finished."

"Sure."

Smithy grabbed his own bags and made his way into another bedroom that was quite similar to the main one, except this was a guest bedroom and instead of a double bed, it had two single beds. At the same time, he and Kerry unpacked their bags and safely stored all their things away; all they could think about was how they were going to spend this holiday together. While Smithy knew exactly how he felt about Kerry, she was starting to really see what she felt for him, but she wasn't sure if he was willing to give her a chance for he had pushed her away in the past but she'd managed to realise that it was out of respect and she truly appreciated him for respecting her that much. Minutes later, they were both finished unpacking and both felt the need to change their tops due to the heat; Kerry changed into a pink sleeveless summer top and Smithy, a blue t-shirt. When Kerry came out of her bedroom, she found Smithy already waiting for her in the living room.

"Hey, you ready to go?" He asked when she entered the room.

"Yeah, so where are we going to eat?"

"I know this great little place we can go to; nice place to get lunch. Just follow me."

With that, Kerry followed Smithy out of the house and waited for him to lock the door. After the place was locked up, he lead her down the path that would take them into the village. They walked for about twenty minutes when they finally came to the place that Smithy was talking about; it was a lovely little cafe called The Cove and they made their way inside and found themselves a table to sit at. They both had a cup of tea for their drinks and Kerry had a chicken caesar salad and chocolate muffin, while Smithy had a tuna salad sandwich and a blueberry muffin. Once they'd both finished eating, they were full and after paying they decided to go for a walk. Smithy showed Kerry around the place and they looked around at all of the shops. Time seemed to fly by because after a few hours, they were feeling hungry again so Smithy brought Kerry to a restaurant called Sally's, a Mediterranean restaurant so they both had seafood. When dinner was finished and they had paid, they decided to spend the sunset walking along the South West Coast Path. When they were nearing the beach, they stopped for a bit when Kerry decided to take a moment to really enjoy the beautiful view of the sun setting over the sea and the feeling of the wind blowing in her face.

"This is just amazing," she said. "We've only just arrived and it's even better than I thought; this has really been a great day."

Smithy looked on at her as she smiled with such delight; the fact that she was happy made him happy too and he seemed to forget what he was trying to avoid doing.

"You know, you're really beautiful when you smile and it makes me really happy seeing you like this again," he said as she turned to face him. "I'm really glad that I invited you on this trip."

"Yeah me too, thank you," she replied. "You really have been such a great friend to me Smithy and I really value that; everything you've done for me, the way you've helped me - I really can't thank you enough for it. I haven't felt lonely ever since you started helping me... and I like being here with you now."

As she looked at him, Smithy could only stare at her with all his feelings for her rushing through his mind. He was so grateful that she saw him as friend, but he wanted to be more than that; so much more. Before either of them knew what was happening, Smithy slowly moved in and gently kissed Kerry's soft lips. Instead of making it stop, Kerry gave into the kiss and let Smithy wrap his arms around her while wrapped hers around him; the kiss was becoming more and more passionate until it finally came to an end when they gently broke apart. They smiled without letting each other go and looked at each other; Smithy could see from the look in Kerry's eyes that they hadn't made a mistake and it made him happy. Then suddenly an idea came to him.

"You know there's a place I always used to go to when I was a kid just down on a beach; I often went there to be alone. Can I show you?"

"Yeah sure," Kerry instantly replied; right now, being alone with Smithy was all she wanted.

With that, Smithy took Kerry by the hand and lead her down to the beach.


	9. Chapter 9: When Feelings Take Over

**Chapter 9: When Feelings Take Over**

Kerry was really only too happy to follow Smithy's lead over the beautiful sunset lit beach that was now deserted; the sand felt warm and soft beneath her bare feet and the smell in the air was incredible to take in. She glanced over at the beautiful view of the orange colour in the sky and on the waters and the sight of the waves crashing against the beach, though she of course was wondering where Smithy was taking her. Smithy lead her to the other side of the beach to the bottom of the cliffs; as they drew closer Kerry could see many grottoes, so she assumed right away if Smithy was taking her to one and right she was when Smithy finally stopped walking and stopped just beside a lot of the rocks.

"We're here," he said and he pointed at what looked like the deepest cave of all. "Just there, that's where we're heading. Come on, I'll show you."

Without any hesitation, Kerry once again followed his lead and he lead her inside a cave. Indeed, this cave was the deepest of all the grottoes seen in the cliff and there was not much to say about it; it looked exactly as you would expect - it was made of rocks, there was very little vegetation inside and there was more sand for the ground. This obviously made a good hideout for anyone and what was on Kerry's mind at that moment, she wanted to ask.

"Well this is it," Smithy suddenly said. "I found this place when I was a boy; I was wandering alone on the beach and exploring all the grottoes when I came across this one. I started coming in here when I wanted to be alone; it was the best way to get away from everything else and I would lie down here and think."

"Think about what?" Kerry asked.

"Life, what would in be store for me; how could I protect my mum from any harm coming to her once my dad turned to booze and started confusing mum for his punching bag."

When he'd finished that last sentence, Kerry instantly made sure she was listening to him; if he had something to say, she wanted him to know that he could tell her.

"I've heard you mention your dad a couple of times, what did he do?"

Smithy looked at her and could see the compassion in her eyes; he knew she was someone he could trust, someone he could share anything with. If she'd done the same with him, then he could do the same with her.

"I was young when it started," he began to explain. "The drinking, the rowing, the beatings; one day I could shouting and screaming, so me and my brother went to investigate and that's when we realised what was going on - dad was drunk and standing over mum, who was on the floor with marks and bruises on her face and then when he saw us, that's when he did to us what he did to her. It went on for a long time; mum never took it to the police, but I wish she did. Every time dad lay a finger on her and I or my brother would intercede, he'd hit us too; as time goes on, the bruises fade but the scars seem to stay. And when it got to the point when I'd had enough, I would get out of the house every time I heard another row and I would hang out with my mates so I wouldn't have to put up with it; I really let mum down there. Then finally the day came when everything stopped - dad packed his bags, walked out the door and never came back; I haven't seen him since I was 17 and I'm glad because the minute he left, I hoped that I never have to set eyes on his face ever again. From then on, I did my best to comfort mum until she was finally able to put it all behind her; she's strong my mum, it was really brave and strong of her to do what she did and she's really made a life for herself ever since. I joined the army and the police for the same reasons - to make a difference and to protect people, but also to make my mum proud; make up for all the times I let her down."

Kerry had listened attentively to Smithy's story and felt nothing but sympathy and care for him.

"I'm so sorry you went through such an ordeal, how did you put it all behind you?"

"Well I found something I was good at; something to focus my mind on - what's certainly what the army and the police does; gives you something else to think about."

"And what about your brother?"

"I don't know, I haven't spoken to him in years - he and I fell out when I joined the Met."

"Why?"

"He hates the police, so me joining the police was enough for him to disown me as his brother - mum did try to mend our relationship, but it didn't work; he made it clear he didn't want me in his life anymore, so I just accepted it and got on with my own life. But whatever hard life I've had in the past, things have really turned around for me ever since I took this job, although it was really when I became a sergeant that I really started seeing what life's really all about because someone I met on my first day back showed me that and she's been showing it to me ever since."

"And who was that?"

"You Kerry. When I first met you, well actually when I first saw you, I knew right away that you were different from any other woman I've ever met. These last few weeks, I've been really wanting to help you and I've been trying hard not to make the same mistake I made last time... but fighting the way I feel about you, it's proven to being too hard. I know I said another relationship wasn't what you needed and I've been waiting for you to be more better before telling you everything that you deserve to know."

Kerry could feel tears of happiness stinging her eyes and if Smithy was pouring his heart to her, maybe it was only fair if she poured out hers to him.

"I feel a lot better and it's all thanks to you Smithy. You're a great friend, but I know in my heart that I feel more than that for you; I just didn't realise it sooner and I wish I did instead of making all the mistakes that I made. I'm not scared anymore and right now, I want nothing more than to be alone with you."

She laid her hand on his cheek and he took it in his and kissed it, before looking at her tenderly. He moved in a little closer to her.

"I know I can't deny it anymore and I don't want to either; I don't care about anything else... except you. How I feel about you and what you mean to me; Kerry... I want you."

"I want you too Smithy."

They looked at each other and nothing else; they were both caught up in the moment and their feelings took over them immediately. They leaned in and their lips met in a passionate kiss; Kerry's arms wrapped themselves around Smithy and his wrapped themselves around her. Moments later, they broke apart and Smithy gently pulled Kerry's top over her head; he ran his hands over her bare arms until she pulled his t-shirt over his head and ran her hands over his toned body. Their eyes met contact again before they pressed their lips together in another kiss; Smithy wrapped his arms around Kerry's waist, running his hands over her back. Kerry wrapped one arm around Smithy's neck and laid her other hand on his chest; she felt his heart beating and knew it was beating for her. Smithy then pulled Kerry down to the ground with him, where they removed the rest of their clothes until there was finally no longer any material to separate them. Stilling lost in their embrace, Kerry let herself lie down on the sand with Smithy on top of her; their lips still locked in their kiss. Smithy was careful to be gentle with her as he pushed himself into her; he didn't want to frighten her. She could feel him inside of her, but she felt perfectly safe by the warmth of his body and the gentleness of his touch; this was how she knew he was different from the others she'd been with. As the sun continued to go down, they moved in ecstasy and fell into full embrace as their love-making went on as slowly and gently as the sunset.


	10. Chapter 10: You're The One For Me

**Chapter 10: You're The One For Me**

Hours had passed since the sun had set and the sky was filled with the light from the moon and millions of stars that were shining; the light reflecting upon the waters of the sea. The air was milder than before, but still warm to the feel. Everything was quiet; all that could be heard was the sound of the waves crashing against the beach. Inside the cave, there was no movement and no sound, apart from the soft breathing of the two peacefully asleep inside; one wrapped in the other's warm arms. Kerry lay wrapped safely in Smithy's arms; they were asleep, but not for long. Kerry began to stir and her eyes opened, reminding her where she was and who was with her. She immediately felt the warmth of Smithy's arms around and could his breathing coming from behind her; she looked over her shoulder without disturbing him and saw that he was still sleeping, though sleep had obviously past her at that point for when she tried to return to her slumber, her eyes wouldn't close. She looked up at the entrance of the cave and could see some light coming in from the sky; her curiosity took over her. She slowly and gently managed to get herself out of Smithy's embrace and up on her feet; she stood at the entrance for a moment and looked at the sky - there was some light appearing; dawn was approaching and she didn't want to miss it. The beach was still deserted, so she grabbed her underwear, her jeans and Smithy's t-shirt that was oversized to her and put them on. She didn't want to disturb Smithy because he looked very peaceful, so she made her way out of the cave alone and walked down the beach towards the sea, stopping just before the point where the sand became wet by the crashing waves. The wind was blowing in her face and the light began to shine on her as it rose more and more; the beautiful view was interrupting her thoughts of what had happened the previous night, but not for long. Back up in the cave, Smithy began to stir when the atmosphere around him suddenly felt colder and awoke to find the reason why; Kerry was no longer there lying beside him. Getting up onto his feet, he put on his boxer shorts and as he was putting on his jeans, he saw a figure standing on the beach and knew right away who it was as well as knowing why he couldn't find his t-shirt. Picking up Kerry's top and their shoes, he walked out of the cave and down the beach towards her.

"Kerry?" He said once he was close enough and she turned around right away. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine," she replied as he stood next to her. "Just couldn't sleep and I didn't want to miss the sunrise."

"I would assume you were a bit cold seeing as you're wearing my t-shirt..."

"Oh yeah, sorry."

"Nah it's alright; it suits you."

They both shared a light laugh and looked out at the view; the light was become brighter and brighter. Everything was silent, until Smithy decided to be the one to break it.

"Are you... thinking about last night?" He asked in a nervous way.

Kerry remained silent at first, until she turned to look at him.

"Yeah I am... in fact, I can't stop thinking about it; I think maybe that's what I came out here to do."

"I know you said that the last time we slept together it was a mistake; was last night a mistake as well?"

"No Smithy, no it wasn't; it was... it was really wonderful. I mean... I did want it to happen and when it was happening, I felt so safe when you were holding me that I didn't want you to let me go. I know that I said when we last slept together it was a mistake, but now I'm not sure that I believe it was anymore because being with you now and last night makes everything about the last time much more clearer on why it happened and why I went home with you that night. And I also know that I am not going to make the same mistakes that I made before again - I'm certainly not going to hurt you the way I did; I'm not going to turn you away again, I'm not going to let someone persuade me to accuse you of something you haven't even done, I..."

Before she could finish, as if all of a sudden, Smithy took Kerry's face into his hands, leaned in and kissed her. Forgetting what she had been doing, Kerry gave in and wrapped her arms around Smithy, running her hands over his bare back. As they broke apart, she didn't say anything else.

"I know, it's okay," Smithy said gently. "I know you won't make the same mistakes twice; I just want to be with you if you are prepared to give this a go. And the reason I want to be with you Kerry... is because... I love you."

Kerry's eyes widened after he'd said those last three words; more then one feeling was racing through her mind - one was shock, but the other was happiness. It was making her happy knowing that she was truly loved by someone, but even more happier by the fact that that someone was Smithy; he'd been so good to her over the past few weeks that she knew she'd realised her true feelings for him and if he was being honest about his feelings for her, she could do the same with him.

"Smithy... I love you too; I think I always have."

"Really?" Smithy said as his face lit up with a smile.

"Yeah," Kerry replied taking hold of his hand. "And I am prepared to give this a go; I know I want to and I know I'm ready to."

The smile on Smithy's face got bigger and he leaned in and kissed Kerry's soft lips again, wrapping his arms around her as she wrapped hers around him; the sun rose into the sky at the same moment. Today, the sun was rising on a happy day for two people who had finally declared their true feelings for each other.

* * *

The rest of the day went on very sweetly for the new couple; they spent most of the day on the beach sunbathing, swimming and splashing and chasing the other in the shallow waters. After showering all the essence of their visit to the beach off them, they headed out for a romantic dinner at a grand inn and once they'd eaten, they decided to digest it all with another walk along the beach as they headed back up to the house.

* * *

By the time they got back to the house, the sun was setting and the view from the house was just incredible. Smithy made his way into the bathroom to brush his teeth while Kerry changed into her nightwear and after she was finished, she stood at the window in her bedroom and stared out the view watching as the sun continued to slowly disappear over the ocean. But after a few moments, she was no longer alone; Smithy quietly entered, walked up behind Kerry and wrapped his arms around her waist, kissing her neck and shoulders and breathing in her scent. She placed her arms over his and moved in closer to him as she possibly could.

"It's beautiful isn't it?" She whispered to him, referring to the view.

"Yeah it is," he whispered back to her. "But nowhere near as beautiful as the woman who's standing right here in my arms."

Smiling, Kerry turned around in his arms, placed her hand on his cheek and he leaned in and kissed her. Kerry then pulled Smithy's top over his head and kissed him again, before he moved his kisses to her neck. Eventually, the rest of their clothes were removed and Kerry lay down on the bed, her head resting against the pillow. Smithy moved over her and kissed her soft lips as he gently pushed himself inside of her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and ran her hands over his back and shoulders, while he ran his fingers through her soft blonde hair and his hand over her arm. Once again, Smithy was sure to be gentle with her, but Kerry didn't feel scared as she was dragged from her fond reflection of her love for Smithy. She felt how good it was to have him inside of her again, for she felt complete and this was how she knew that he was indeed the one for her. All she could do was tighten her arms around him as he held her in his warm and loving embrace as he made love to her in a way no one else had ever done.

* * *

By the time they had climaxed, the sun had set and the moon and stars were shining high above. Smithy lay on his back with Kerry wrapped in his arms, her head resting against his bare chest. She snuggled more into his embrace and he pulled her in further, the silence between them was so peaceful and Kerry was the one to break it.

"I can't believe you love me," she whispered. "I didn't think I'd ever be happy ever again, but I have never been this happy before."

"Of course you were going to be happy again," Smithy gently assured her. "I'm just glad I was the one to help you get through everything."

"Me too, I should've known there wasn't anyone who could and we'll make this work, right?"

"Yeah of course," he kissed her forehead. "Nothing else matters now; we're together and that's what's important."

"I'm so sleepy, but I just wish this night could last forever."

"Hey, sleep; we'll another one like it tomorrow and we have the rest of our lives to."

Kerry remained silent for a few moments, running her hand over Smithy's chest and drowning in her happiness.

"You know, being here with you Smithy feels so different because I feel so complete and I haven't this complete with anybody; this is how I know."

"Know what Kerry?"

"That you're the one for me; that it's always been you and it always will be. And now that I finally have you, there's no way I ever want this to end; it's all just so perfect."

Smithy didn't say anything, but smiled and kissed her forehead again, tightening his arms around her as she finally drifted off to sleep. As she slept, he watched her for a moments until he drifted off himself and he fell asleep with so much happiness about him as he knew that he would wake up the next morning with her and everything would be the way it was meant to be.


	11. Chapter 11: No More Power And Control

**Chapter 11: No More Power And Control**

The next morning arrived when the sun rose up into the sky; lighting everything below and in its path. The clocks went on ticking and time kept passing; everyone awoke at different times from each other. At Smithy's beach house in Cornwall, the sun was shining in through the windows giving it whatever light it needed. The bedroom was now filled with light and it shone on the two sleeping in each other's arms in the large double bed. Kerry and Smithy were still peacefully asleep; Kerry's head still resting against Smithy's chest and Smithy's arms still wrapped around her in a secure way, as if he was trying to stop her from escaping from him. Within a few moments, Smithy began to stir and his eyes opened; they instantly fell on the beautiful woman sleeping in his arms. He smiled with joy when he saw she was still there and that the previous night hadn't been a dream; this was what he'd been looking forward to when he fell asleep because waking up in the morning with Kerry was more than he could ask for. He watched her sleep for a few moments, gently running his hands over her arm and back and listening to the sound of her gentle breathing; it kept him feeling relaxed as well as happy. Finally, she began to stir and Smithy gently kissed her forehead.

"Kerry," he whispered and her eyes opened.

Kerry heard the familiar voice and opened her eyes; a smile lit up her face when her eyes fell on Smithy and happiness flooded up inside her heart that she proped herself up against her elbow, leaned in and kissed him.

"It wasn't just a dream," she said softly as they broke apart.

"No, everything's very real."

Smiling at him, Kerry snuggled back down into Smithy's warm arms and he tightened his arms around her, pulling her further into his embrace. The atmosphere between them was so bright and so perfect, that it seemed nothing would ever break them apart.

"Smithy I don't know how to thank you for all of this," Kerry said.

"What do you mean?" Smithy replied sounding confused. "What's there to thank me for?"

"You've saved me; you've made everything in my life feel right again and you've given me you. I didn't think I would ever get my life back and I never thought I'd ever find someone else who would love me after; I thought I was all alone and I would stay that way. But you came and you proved me wrong; you've done so much for me and I am so grateful to you, but I wish I could show you how grateful I am."

Smithy didn't reply, instead a smile slowly formed on his face and before Kerry knew it, he tightened his arms around her and rolled her over onto her back; the surprise made her laugh lightly, but she ran her hand over Smithy's bare arm and back as she smiled at him and he at her.

"I don't need your gratitude Kerry," he said softly. "I don't want it; all I want is you and your love. You know that you have my love and I know I have yours; that's all I was asking for. You have given me everything I want and you're telling me that you're finally happy again and that makes me happy because that's what I want for you - I want you to be safe and happy."

"I am happy Smithy; I'm happy with you and I never want this to end. I know I have a string of unsuccessful relationships, but I feel and I know that you're different from them and because of that, I don't want to lose you."

"You'll never lose me, because I know that I will love you always; everything I have is yours now and I'll take care of you and I'll do all the things that a good man does for and with the woman he loves."

Kerry felt tears of joy stinging the corner of her eyes and she placed her hand on Smithy's cheek.

"You already have throughout these past few weeks, you've done more for me than anyone else ever has and I don't think there's anything more I could ask for. I know what I've found in you; you're my knight in shining armour. And I love you."

Looks of complete tenderness filled their eyes as the gazed at each other for a few moments, until Smithy leaned in and kissed Kerry's soft lips; the previous night was being resumed. Smithy ran his hand up Kerry's side as she ran her over his arm and neck; their lips didn't part until Smithy gently trailed kisses down to Kerry's neck, falling into full embrace as warm as the sun.

* * *

The rest of the week went by and Kerry and Smithy were able to act out their new relationship together for the remainder of their holiday; they went out for romantic meals, they spent time on the beach together and went for walks along the cliffs. Finally, the day for them to return home came though Kerry was reluctant to do so as she had enjoyed Cornwall so much, but she knew that what was important to her was coming home with her. After their bags were packed and loaded into the car and the house was locked up, Kerry and Smithy climbed into their vehicle, Smithy started up the engine and drove off through the town and off in the direction of the border. They finally came to the motorway and continued to drive on into the direction of London.

* * *

The day after they got back, they were back at work straight away and although they tried to keep things between them low and steady, it wasn't difficult for everyone to suss out that there was something going on between the sergeant and PC. Kerry was paired with Yvonne for the day and Yvonne instantly began to ask questions once they were out of the station.

"So," she stared off as she and Kerry were walking around Canley High Street. "I noticed how cosy you and Smithy seemed to be, do you want to tell me what's going on or am I going to have to ask him? And you know how he doesn't like it when people ask him personal questions."

"Well, what's there to say?" Kerry replied trying to keep everything normal.

"Oh come on, everyone can see it; there's something going on between you two isn't there? Come on, tell me; how did it happen?"

"Okay, it happened in Cornwall; we ended up sleeping together."

"What just like that?"

"No, not 'just like that'," Kerry started to explain. "Over these past few weeks, he has been a really great friend to me and when he brought to Cornwall, we just found each other. It's like, I rediscovered all the feelings I have for him and he admitted his true feelings for me; we just admitted how we really feel about each other and we ended up falling into each other's arms. It was really wonderful being with him, so we both decided to give it a go."

"Whoa, whoa hold on there; do you not that maybe you're moving too fast? I mean you've just broken up with Cameron; you sure this isn't a bit too soon because you're still upset about him...?"

"Yvonne," Kerry said cutting her off and shaking her head. "I don't love Cameron anymore; whatever I felt for him is gone, it's just not there anymore. And no, I am not using Smithy to get back at Cameron; I've made it clear to both Cameron and myself that I am not going to take him back. Look the reason we broke up is personal between me and him, but let's just say that he wasn't as loyal as I thought he was; I thought he and I had more than we did, but I was wrong. And the thing about Smithy is he's everything Cameron isn't and he's nothing like Luke; I mean with Luke, I rushed too quickly into everything and it all ended in disaster and Cameron, I've realised that he just isn't the one for me. And yeah, when I slept with Smithy that's where it all went wrong, but now I've found this great guy in Smithy and what I have started with him is already really special and I don't want anything to spoil it. I love him Yvonne and he loves me; he's a good man and he already makes me happy."

Yvonne had listened to every word Kerry had spoken and could see how serious she was; if Smithy loved her and made her happy, then that was what mattered. Kerry was her friend and she knew that she deserved to be happy.

"Well, if he makes you happy then there's really nothing I can say; I'm happy for you Kez."

"Thanks Yvonne," Kerry said with a smile before enveloping her friend in a hug.

* * *

Meanwhile, back at the station, refs break had just begun and Smithy headed into the canteen, walked up to the service counter and ordered a full lunch meal. But as he was waiting, the sound of PC Kent's voice interrupted him.

"Heard a rumour that you and Kerry are something of an item Serge," Gabriel shouted over to him. "Is that right?"

Smithy turned around in disgust at him, slowly walked over to where he was sitting alone and leaned over him as he stood in front of the table.

"My private life has got nothing to do with you Kent," Smithy spat at him. "Now you were able to destroy Kerry's relationship with Cameron, but mark my word, you will not destroy any other part of her life because remember, I have my eye on you wherever you go and whatever you do, alright? So just keep your grubby little nose out of other people's business."

Gabriel didn't say anything back to him and Smithy made his way back to the counter, collected his food and sat down at an empty table. He was happily eating alone, until he was joined by Tony, Gary and PC Reg Hollis. The four of them got into an everyday conversation, but then the questions that Smithy was dating Kerry started rising.

"So eh," Tony started off. "There's a bit of gossip going around Serge that there's something going on between you and Kerry."

"Who told you that?" Smithy asked, his eyes widening.

"Well everyone's talking about it," Reg explained. "Everyone noticed how close you both seemed this morning and you were seen holding hands together."

"So Serge," Gary said. "Is it really true? You and Kerry; I mean this is the same Kerry who accused you of date rape."

"That's all in the past now and it wasn't her fault."

"So you are seeing her?" Tony asked.

Smithy stayed silent for a moment, while looking down at his food until he answered as he knew he had to.

"Yeah," he finally said raising his head. "I'm with Kerry."

All three constables' eyes widened, smiles formed on their faces and cheers came from their table; more questions were to be asked.

"So how did it happen?" Reg asked.

"It happened in Cornwall," Smithy explained. "We just found each other; I mean what can I say? I'm a man in love and she even said I'm her knight in shining armour; I'm very happy."

As Smithy continued to express his happiness and what he and Kerry felt for each other, Gabriel was sitting at his table listening to every word the sergeant was saying. The disturbed look that he would carry on his face whenever something was happening that was displeasing to him was present and what he had already been afraid of was staring at him right in the face. Ever since Kerry had formed a platonic friendship with Smithy, Gabriel had had the sergeant on his back ever since and he was never able to get anywhere near Kerry again. The more time he was kept away from her, the weaker the mental hold he had had over her became but hearing that she was now in a romantic relationship with the one officer who was much stronger than him in every way was even more of a threat.

* * *

Later on after the shift, he joined the other officers at the pub for a social event, but he hadn't been expecting Kerry and Smithy to be there too. When seeing Gabriel there, Kerry and Smithy made sure they didn't sit beside him or at the same table as him. They sat with Yvonne, Honey and Andrea and Smithy let Kerry tell the three women about their holiday in Cornwall; Smithy would join in when he had something to add what she was saying. Gabriel was sitting a table with Gary, Cameron, Tony and Reg, but was paying all of his attention to his drink and what was going on at Kerry and Smithy's table; he couldn't help staring at the sight of Smithy's arm around Kerry and how happy she looked. But when Yvonne gave a toast to the new couple this was when it finally hit him - all the power and control he once had over Kerry was no longer there and with Smithy protecting her the way he was, his chances of ever regaining all that control were very slim. Kerry's new boyfriend was much more powerful than Cameron and Luke and he knew that, just like he knew that he couldn't destroy everything between them like he had done to Kerry and Cameron's relationship; she had meant it when rejected his advances and there was nothing he could do to get what he wanted from her anymore.


	12. Chapter 12: Darkness Falls Again

**Chapter 12: Darkness Falls Again**

Three months had passed since the terrible attack that would've turned Kerry Young's life upside down if it hadn't have been for Dale Smith; overhearing the evil rapist confessing to the attack had helped the couple to find each other. Kerry and Smithy had been very happy together since their holiday to Cornwall that changed both their lives, though Smithy was more than happy to think that it changed Kerry's life more after everything she'd been through. Kerry staying with Smithy was officially made into a permanent stay; she'd sold her own flat and had moved most of her own personal belongings into Smithy's home and it was something they were both clearly enjoying. They had both gotten used to each other's living styles and had adapted to not living alone anymore; everyone in the station sure felt happy for them, well almost everybody. While Gabriel Kent was still livid that he had lost all control over Kerry and would never regain it all, Cameron Tait was still trying to get used to seeing his ex-girlfriend very much in love with somebody else, especially when that somebody else was Smithy. Smithy had made things go wrong for Kerry and Cameron before and now, it was he who was making Kerry smile, laugh and happy; he was doing everything Cameron should've done. After finding out about her relationship with Smithy, Cameron had confronted Kerry but she rebuffed him by making it clear that it was all over between them and that she had found someone else who was better than anyone she had been with, someone who she loved very much and who loved her. Cameron had been hurt by Kerry's rebuff, but knew that he couldn't sit around whining over her; he had to just move on and find someone else, especially when he knew that Kerry was finally safe because he could see how much effort Smithy was putting into protect her. There was nothing he could do; he'd had his chance with her and had blown it and Kerry would never take him back.

* * *

One morning, Kerry awoke with Smithy beside her but something was wrong; she felt dizzy and nauseous and everywhere she looked, her vision was blurred. Luckily, she remembered where she was and wanted to stay in the very warm and comfortable bed with Smithy. But something was dragging her to out of that bed quickly and rush to the bathroom; she couldn't control it any longer so that was what she did. Reaching the toilet just in time, she wretched into it, hoping not to wake Smithy but to her dismay, the sounds of vomiting and then toilet being flushed reached his ears and woke him. Hearing the noises and then seeing that the space in the bed beside him was empty, he climbed out of bed and head to the bathroom. That was where she saw Kerry sitting on the floor next to the toilet, brushing her long hair out of her face; he knelt down beside her when he noticed how pale and ill she looked.

"Kerry you alright?"

"I don't know," she said with a weak voice. "I've just been sick."

"Yeah, you look pretty bad; I mean you're quite pale and tired. Come on I'll get you a glass of water."

He helped her to her feet and lead her back into the bedroom. She sat down on the bed, while he went into the kitchen and returned with a glass of water that he handed to her. She took it and drank, letting the cool liquid soothe her throat that was still burning from the vomiting. Smithy down beside her.

"Maybe you should take the day off today, get some rest; I'll cover for you."

"Oh no it's fine," she insisted.

"No, no if you're not feeling well then maybe you should go to the doctor's, I mean you've been tired a lot lately; work won't help you," Smithy stated. "Just go to the doctor's and get yourself checked, see if they can see what the problem is."

Kerry knew how serious Smithy was when it came to her welfare; she realised herself that she really didn't feel up to working, so maybe a day off was the best option for her.

"Alright, okay," she finally said. "I don't really feel up to work anyway; I'll go to the doctor's this morning. Would you mind giving me a lift in? I'll make my own way back."

"Yeah sure, no problem," Smithy said wrapping his arm around her. "But seeing as the practise doesn't open until 9, I'll stay here a little longer with you okay?"

"Thanks," Kerry said smiling as she rested her head on Smithy's shoulder.

* * *

Later on that same morning, Smithy and Kerry left the flat in Smithy's car and drove to the local doctor's practise where Smithy dropped Kerry off before driving to work. She made her way inside, gave her name to the receptionist and was then asked to take a seat until the doctor would call for her. She waited and waited and then finally, a male doctor called out her name and she followed him into his office. When seated, she told him about her symptoms so he stated that he would give her a check up. He started off by measuring her blood pressure, then moved onto listening to her heart and all seemed fine, so he asked her if she could supply him with a urine sample. Lucky for her, she was able to supply one and when she handed it to him, he did whatever tests he needed to do, one of which was a pregnancy test. As Kerry sat waiting to hear if he could identify the problem, the pregnancy test turned blue when it touched the sample she had given; the test was positive and the source of Kerry's problem had been identified.

"Well it looks like we've found the problem," the doctor explained. "Your symptoms are morning sickness, so I'm very happy to be the first to congratulate you. Congratulations Kerry, you're pregnant."

The room fell silent; Kerry looked up at the doctor without blinking. The shock was visible on her face.

"Pregnant?" She asked with a nervous tone. "Are you sure?"

"Yes very sure."

"Well, how far gone am I?"

"I'm afraid I can't tell you that, but if you book a scan at the hospital, they can tell you without a problem."

Kerry remained silent and her breathing became louder and heavier; this couldn't have been happening to her. She began to think very clearly on far gone she could've been; the last time she had sex with Cameron was about three months ago - was it his baby she was carrying? No it couldn't have been; she and Cameron used a condom as they always used protection. This meant there was only one other person whose baby it could've been; Kerry felt her heart sink when she realised who the father was - it was Gabriel. She was so swallowed up in her shock that she couldn't hear anything around her, so she didn't hear the sound of the doctor's voice.

"Kerry? Is everything alright?"

She made no reply, instead she started shaking with fear and then finally, she couldn't hold it in anymore. Grabbing her bag, she stood up off her seat, rushed to the door, opened it, rushed out of the doctor's office and the practise; she didn't stop. As tears were falling from her eyes, she ran and ran, almost as if she didn't know where she was going. She kept running and running, ignoring all the people she was pushing passed; she didn't stop when any of them shouted something to her because she didn't hear them. On and on she ran and without knowing how she got there, she arrived back at the flat. Once she realised she was home, she stopped running and couldn't remember how she ended up there; everything was just going by so fast for her because of how much shock she was in. But knowing she was happy to be back home, she reached into her bag, took out her key and let herself in. Once she was inside the flat, she went into the kitchen and took a full bottle of vodka. Filling up a glass of the strong alcoholic drink, she sat down on the sofa and drank as much as she could; one drink was enough for her at the moment. When the strong drink had travelled down her throat, she lay down on the cool leather sofa and broke down as she trailed her thoughts on every object around her that was in her vision. Kerry just couldn't believe it; she thought she had managed to turn her life around after what Gabriel did to her, but now she had just discovered that she was pregnant with his baby. Maybe she was wrong; maybe she couldn't escape from his clutches after all. What was she going to do? But more importantly, how was she going to tell her beloved Smithy?


	13. Chapter 13: A Cry For Help

**Chapter 13: A Cry For Help**

Hours had passed and they had passed so slowly for Kerry. She just lay there on the sofa drowning in her shock; an empty bottle of vodka was lying on the floor next to her. How could it all have gotten this bad? She had been so happy with Smithy and now, here was something that could destroy everything they had; what Gabriel did to her and Cameron, he would probably do the same to her and Smithy. She knew she couldn't keep this a secret from Smithy; she knew she had to tell him, but how could she do it? There was no assumption whatsoever that it would break his heart to know something so terrible, for she knew he truly loved her and how much he'd done to keep her safe and happy. There really wasn't any escape out of this situation; Kerry didn't know what to do and Smithy had promised that he would help her whenever she was in trouble. But the doubts were creeping in how they could solve this; Kerry being pregnant with Gabriel's baby was just too much to take it. She knew she'd always wanted children, but not like this - no she wanted children with someone she loved who loved her; how would Smithy ever be able to accept this baby? Would he really help her bring it up as his own? Kerry was too scared to think of that right now; she loved Smithy so much that she didn't want him to get hurt by such a dark revelation, but now her mind was not itself. Sitting up on the sofa, she managed to bring herself to her feet and managed to make her way into the bathroom. Standing at the sink, she turned the cold water tap on and let the water wet her hands so she could rub the water onto her face and neck. She looked at her reflection in the mirror for a few moments, until something else got her eye; there was a bottle of pills sitting amongst other medicines, vitamins and minerals. Picking up the brown plastic bottle, she looked at it and thoughts came to her unbalanced mind. Before she knew it, she took the pills out of the bathroom with her, walked into the bedroom and closed the door.

* * *

Minutes away driving down the road towards the flat was Smithy. He was now on his refs break and decided to check in on Kerry so he could find out how the doctor's appointment went. After a ten minute drive, he finally pulled up outside the flat, took his keys, opened the door and made his way inside.

"Kerry?" He called when he entered the flat. "Kerry it's me; I've come home for refs."

There was no answer and it immediately made him suspicious; why wouldn't Kerry answer him? She always answered him.

"Kerry?"

He made his way into the living room and then the kitchen, but she wasn't there.

"Kerry?"

He checked the bathroom next; nothing.

"Kerry?"

Finally he came to the closed bedroom door.

"Kerry, are you in there?" He called in as he knocked on it.

When there was no response, he opened the door and looked inside. As soon as the door was opened, he saw who he was looking for but not in the way he had expected to. Kerry was lying on the bed unconscious and showed no signs of movement.

"Kerry?" Smithy gasped in horror as he rushed to her.

As he sat down beside her trying to wake her, he saw the empty bottle of pills and knew right away what happened.

"No, no, no Kerry!"

He checked her pulse and was relieved to see she was still alive, but then he remembered he still had his radio.

"Sierra Oscar from 54, ambulance required urgently to Sycamore House on Woodley Heath Road!"

"All received over," the voice of CAD operator Dean McVerry replied.

"Come on Kerry, come on!" Smithy kept saying over and over again desperately as he kept tapping her neck trying to wake her up.

He managed to get a response when she moved her head, but her eyes stayed shut.

"Kerry, what have you done?" He gasped in horror.

She didn't answer with words, but a moan; Smithy just kept doing all he could until about a minute later, he heard the sound of sirens approaching.

"I'll be right back," he told Kerry and he got onto his feet and rushed outside.

An ambulance van pulled up and the paramedics jumped out, one carrying a kit bag while the other went to fetch the stretcher from the back of the van.

"She's in through here," Smithy said as he brought them through. "Her name's Kerry Young, she's my girlfriend; I'm Sgt Smith from Sun Hill - I came home and found her like this; she's taken an overdose!"

"Right okay," one of the paramedics replied.

When they were in the bedroom, they placed an oxygen mask over Kerry's mouth and gently put her onto the stretcher; she seemed to be going in and out of consciousness. As she was being wheeled out of the flat, Smithy held her hand and stayed beside her.

"Kerry, you'll be alright darling; everything's going to be alright," he assured her as he stroked her blonde hair.

The paramedics lifted the stretcher carrying her into the back of the ambulance van and Smithy climbed in after; the doors were shut, the engine was started and the van sped off to St Hugh's Hospital.


	14. Chapter 14: Promises

**Chapter 14: Promises**

Smithy was sitting in the waiting area at St Hugh's waiting for some news on how Kerry was doing. How did it come to this? He saw how Kerry had really been putting her life back together ever since he found out about her rape, so why now would she try to kill herself? Was there something she hadn't told him? Or had something happened? Did it have something to do with her appointment at the doctor's that morning? He was still trying to think of what caused her to do something so drastic, when he was interrupted by one of the doctor's.

"Sgt Smith?"

"How is she?" Smithy asked, standing up off his seat.

"She'll be alright; you got to her just in time," the doctor explained. "There's something else though; this is the results of her blood tests."

The doctor handed Smithy a piece of paper and when he unfolded it and looked at it, his eyes widened and his jaw dropped at what it said. He was silent for a few seconds, until he finally realised what he wanted to do.

"Can I see her please?" He asked the doctor.

"Yes of course, follow me."

The doctor lead the stunned Smithy up the corridor to the private room Kerry was resting in. He looked in through the window and saw her lying there looking very peaceful; he wondered if he should disturb, but he wanted to talk to her. Gently, he opened the door and walked inside, making his way calmly to Kerry's bedside; he sat down on the seat next to the bed as she just looked him.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" He gently asked as he took her hand and stroked her hair.

"I don't know," she replied. "I feel like everything I've gained these past few weeks has suddenly been taken away from me."

"You really scared me you know when I came home and found you like that; I thought I was going to lose you."

"I'm sorry, I won't do it again."

"But why did you do it? Why would you want to take your own life Kerry? Or do I already know why?"

"What do you mean?"

"The doctor showed me the results of your blood tests; they confirm that you're three months pregnant."

Kerry's eyes filled with fear; Smithy knew and this was not how she'd planned for him to find out. What else was he going to say? Had he figured out who the father was? Well whatever the answers to these questions were, she knew that there was no way out for her; she had to tell him the truth. As she looked him with silence, her face told him everything.

"You found out this morning when you went to the doctor's didn't you?" He said, but she remained silent. "Please tell me it's not true Kerry! Is he is the father?"

Tears welled up in Kerry's eyes, but she knew she had to be honest.

"Yes," she finally said as the tears started falling. "It's Gabriel's baby."

Smithy went white as a ghost as his face carried a look of horror.

"Oh no! And that's why you took the overdose?"

"Yeah; I was just so shocked, so scared I didn't know what to do! I think I was trying to kill it; I was trying to kill the baby. I'm so sorry!"

"No, no don't be," Smithy assured her as he stroked her hair. "None of this is your fault; you're still here and that's what matters."

He leaned in and kissed her forehead; she looked up at him and he saw the fear and worry in her eyes.

"What am I going to do Smithy?"

"Well the baby survived, but they are still going to have to do a few more tests," he gently explained. "But what do you want to do?"

Kerry stayed silent for a moment after hearing what Smithy said; the baby had survived her attempted suicide. How could a baby be so healthy and strong? Was this a sign that she should keep it and be a mum? But what about Gabriel?

"It's amazing how it survived," Kerry finally said. "What if this means I should just keep it? I mean I'm worried that if I keep it, I won't be the mother that it needs."

"You'd be a great mother Kerry," Smithy said. "This is entirely up to you; if you want to keep it, I won't try and force to change your mind."

"I don't know if I could go through with a termination, but what about you? What about us?"

"You'll still have me; I'm not going anywhere. I mean yeah I admit that this is quite a lot to take in, but it doesn't change the way I feel about you. I still love you as much as I did when I woke up this morning and I completely respect any decision you make."

"So, if I do keep it, you won't abandon me?"

"No of course not; I promised you're not going to go through anything like this on your own. I know how much you want kids and if you want this baby, keep it; don't worry about me, I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying; I'll even help you raise the baby if you want."

Kerry couldn't believe how much Smithy was offering her; she couldn't find it in her to turn him away. The baby would need a father or at least a father figure and she knew she wanted Smithy to be the father of whatever child she had.

"I would be so grateful if you would step in as its father because I'm not going to tell him; he has no right to even know about this. And it would need a father; I just wish it was your baby."

"We can make it my baby; when its born, I'll file to adopt it if you want; I'll take good care of you both, I'll learn to love it as if it was my own, I promise! You need me and I am not going to turn my back on you ever; you're not going to bring this baby up on your own."

"Thank you, but I don't know how I could tell anybody; it somehow feels easy if I kept all this a secret from everybody. Will you help me Smithy?"

"Of course I'll help you; I promise nothing is going to happen to you."

Kerry looked at him with such gratefulness and love; he was just so wonderful, she couldn't thank him enough. He was willing to do so much for her; something no one else she'd been with had ever done. Tears of happiness welled up in her eyes.

"Why did you have to be so wonderful?" She said through her tears.

"Because of you Kerry," he said stroking her cheek. "You've made me a better man; much better than I ever thought I could ever be. The least I can do is get through all these difficult times."

He leaned in and gently kissed her soft lips.

"I love you."

She smiled up at him.

"I love you too."

Reaching out her arms to him, he enveloped her into a loving hug; another way of showing that he meant everything he'd said. Smithy held her in his arms feeling so grateful that he hadn't lost her, although he did feel scared about the baby, but he knew he had to be strong for the woman he loved. He'd just promised not to leave her in the dark and he was not about to go back on that promise, however tough it would probably be bringing a baby into the world, especially a baby that wasn't his.


	15. Chapter 15: An Unexpected Feeling

**Chapter 15: An Unexpected Feeling**

Kerry had been discharged from hospital the day following her suicide; the doctors had done their tests and confirmed that the baby was fine. Kerry wasn't sure how to react to that news; the fact that she was carrying the child of the one man she hated more than anything else was proving to being very hard to accept and she wasn't sure if she wanted the baby to be alright. She was also worried that it would ruin everything between her and Smithy, but he had been very supportive towards her and was being respectful about her decision to not have an abortion; if she wanted to be a mum, that was her decision, not his and he knew that. The one thing they had promised each other and themselves was that they were not going to let Gabriel find out about this. As the mother, Kerry had made it perfectly clear that he had no right to know because he had no right to the child; she'd made it clear that she was never going to put his name on the baby's birth certificate. No rapist has any right to know that he's going to be a father because he loses all his rights once he's attacked his victim. Smithy had promised he would help make sure that his arch-enemy wouldn't find out; he'd put Kerry through enough, but this was too much. How would he react? What would he do if he did find out? But it didn't matter because he wasn't going to and neither was anybody else. Smithy managed to cover up the reason that Kerry had been admitted to hospital; he reported to the station that she had been diagnosed with high blood pressure, which is why she "collapsed" in their flat and that the "medication" she was on for it would probably force her to take time off work from time to time. The cover-up story seemed to work because no one, not even Gina, questioned if she'd been found unconscious for any other reason; Smithy even made sure that the doctors and nurses had kept quiet. So everything was going according to plan, but unfortunately, the silence couldn't change the awful truth.

Minutes turned into hours; hours turned into days and days turned into weeks; time was passing by slowly for Kerry, for this was something that was turning out to be hard to cope with. She was more silent than ever and her communication with Smithy and all her friends was toning down. But every time she saw Gabriel, she couldn't bare to look him in the face and always turned away; once the reminding of her secret came to her mind, she felt she had to get away from everyone before she showed any signs of distress. Smithy was trying his best to comfort her, but it was all clearly working very slowly because she wasn't adapting to his words and embrace the way she used to. He could see it was going to take a lot more than just words, hugs and kisses to help her come to terms with everything. It seemed that nothing would help her to, until one day when they were called to the hospital for a certain appointment.

Kerry was dressed in hospital wear and lying on a bed waiting for the doctor to enter; Smithy was sitting on a chair beside her and couldn't help noticing the anxious look on her face. He really wanted to say something, but was worried it would just upset her more; he tried holding it in, but found that he couldn't.

"Hey don't worry," he said stroking her hand. "It's going to be okay and I'm not going anywhere."

Kerry remained silent, but smiled and nodded.

"Thanks," she finally said before the door opened and a woman wearing a white coat carrying a clipboard entered the room.

"Hello Kerry," she said as she greeted them. "I'm Doctor Sharpe and I'll be doing your scan."

Her eyes then fell on Smithy.

"You must be the father I'd take it," she said reaching out to shake his hand.

Both Kerry and Smithy remained quiet; they didn't know what to say at this point.

"Dale Smith," Smithy said as he shook the doctor's hand.

"Okay then, let's get started," Dr Sharpe said as she took what she needed. "Now I understand this isn't your first pregnancy Kerry and I am terribly sorry about your miscarriage."

"Thank you," Kerry replied.

"Right the first thing I'm going to do is squirting some of this gel on your stomach and it will feel cold. Then I'm going to run the scanner over your stomach and the inside of your uterus will shown on this screen here. You ready?"

Kerry nodded in silence and the doctor squirted the cold blue gel onto her skin; she twitched slightly at the coolness. Smithy held her hand as Dr Sharpe ran the scanner over Kerry's stomach; everyone's eyes fell onto the sonogram screen.

"Okay, everything seems absolutely fine," said the doctor.

Kerry and Smithy could both only stare at what the scanner was showing, though Smithy glimpsed at Kerry for a minute and could see the amazement in her eyes as she looked at the unborn baby she was carrying. As his eyes fell back to the screen, he began wishing that the baby inside Kerry could've been his because looking at a new life in this way felt incredible to him and it seemed to him that maybe Kerry was finally beginning to adapt to the idea of becoming a mother to this baby. Tears began to softly fill Kerry's eyes as she looked on at what was growing inside of her; she hadn't been sure what she wanted to do about all this, but now it was suddenly dawning upon her that she did indeed have a little, innocent life growing inside of her - she only wished that Smithy was the father. The sight was so beautiful to her that she realised she could never kill it before it had started to live, but she just had to make sure that Gabriel never found out. Maybe she could try and play it off that Smithy was the father. But she decided not to think about that for now and just kept looking at the sonogram and whispered under her breath.

"That's my baby."

* * *

Later on that night, Kerry was lying in bed looking at her scan photo and thinking of what she had been thinking at her appointment. But there other thoughts, disturbing thoughts, on her mind too. She was just about to try and think of how she could deal with them when Smithy walked in and climbed into the bed beside her; he saw right away what she was looking at.

"You alright?" He asked as he lay beside her.

"I don't know," she answered. "Things really took an unexpected turn today."

"How?"

"Because of this," she said indicating at the photo. "When I was getting that scan, as I looked at the screen, all I could think about was what's really growing inside me because I didn't see a monster or some weird creature or an alien, I saw a baby; a healthy human baby, an innocent little person that I'm carrying. I didn't think I would ever feel any warm feeling for this baby; I didn't think I would ever want it, but then everything changed today. I saw the baby and I felt attached."

"Well you were bound to feel attached Kerry," Smithy explained as he wrapped her arm around her. "It is your baby after all."

"But I wish it was your baby too Smithy because it deserves you to be its father and I still feel guilty about that. I love you and I don't want to lose you; I only want to have your baby, but I feel attached to this one and I don't think I'll ever feel unattached."

"That's nothing to feel guilty about Kerry; you're going to be a mother and maybe I can still be its father because I could file adopt it. I could take it in as my own and we could all be a family; if you really love this baby, then I'm sure I'll grow to love it too. Like you said, it is an innocent life and I promised I wasn't going to abandon you; you're never going to lose me. I don't want you worrying about any of this; you're not going to go through any of this on your own. Alright?"

Kerry stayed silent for a moment as she listened to what Smithy promised her.

"Would you really do all that for me? Would you really adopt the baby?" She asked.

"Of course I would; anything to keep you happy," he assured her as she smiled slightly.

"Oh come here," he said as he leaned to gently kiss her after noticing the look on her face. "It's going to be alright; we're going to sort all this together. I promise."

"Thank you," she softly said before he planted another kiss on her soft lips.

"We'll talk more about this tomorrow; for now let's just get some sleep," he suggested when seeing how tired she looked and realising how tired he was.

"Yeah you're right," Kerry replied as she put the photo on her bedside table and turned out the light.

She placed her hand on Smithy's arm and rested her forehead against his after he closed his eyes; she watched him sleep for a few moments thinking of how wonderful a man he really was before she drifted off to sleep herself, hoping that everything would be fine and turn out for the best.


	16. Chapter 16: Deadly Consequences

**Chapter 16: Deadly Consequences**

Weeks passed and before she knew it, Kerry was in her fifth month of pregnancy. By now, a small bump had formed and she had felt the baby kicking for the first time; it was something that made her feel happy about as she'd adapted to having a little person growing inside of her and she had started to pretend that Smithy was the father. But she didn't know what he was really thinking about what he'd said. As the weeks had passed by, he'd started to realise how easy it was to say something but that doing it was an entirely different matter. He knew he'd said he would adopt the baby officially when it was born, but he'd started to realise that the idea of accepting a baby that wasn't his was hard, much harder than he thought. And with Kerry seeming so happy with what he'd promised, he found it difficult to tell her how he really felt. Despite how devoted he was to her, hiding his feelings forever was something he was not going to be able to do.

Smithy had managed to help Kerry take time off work by claiming that she needed sometime off due to her "condition" because it was starting to rise to a serious nature. He was amazed at how everyone was buying the story, without even thinking that it was something else that was keeping Kerry off work. Now they were both sitting on the sofa watching TV peacefully, until Kerry interrupted.

"What is it?" Smithy asked as she put her hand on her stomach.

"It's nothing," she said. "Just cramps."

"You've been having cramps since this morning, are you sure you're alright?"

"Yeah I'm fine, don't worry," she assured him.

As she kept her hand on her stomach, happy thoughts of the baby came to her mind and she wanted to share them.

"Just think," she started to say. "In four months, our baby will be here with us; we'll be a family."

Smithy heard what she was saying and was not feeling what she was; he wanted to say something, but wasn't sure if he should.

"It's going to be wonderful," she carried on. "It'll be you, me and this little one; it will be our baby soon like you said..."

"Kerry."

She stopped when he cut her off with a firm tone of voice.

"Kerry, I think we need to talk."

Kerry's eyes widened with worry; the phrase "we need to talk" can usually mean something bad and she wasn't sure if she wanted to know what he wanted tell her, but she decided to listen.

"I've been thinking a lot about how I said I would adopt the baby," he explained to a nervous Kerry. "I don't think I can actually go through with it anymore."

Kerry's worried eyes widened more than they already were.

"But you said you would," she said shakily.

"I know I did, but I didn't realise that it was easy to say it and it's an entirely different matter when it comes to actually doing it."

Kerry was silent for a moment before finally saying all she could.

"Oh."

Smithy took note of her reaction and knew he had to make her understand.

"Look it's got nothing to do with you, it's just," he tried to explain. "Well the more I think about it, I realise that I am finding it hard to accept the baby as my own. I want to accept it though, but I just didn't realise how hard it was really going to be."

"But you said you would help me," Kerry said. "You said you'd never leave me!"

"And I am going to help you!" He assured her. "Just because I'm having doubts about adopting the kid doesn't mean I'm going to leave; I'm never going to leave you! I just don't think I can go through with the whole adoption idea after all and I'm really sorry."

Looks of sadness and doom were all over Kerry's face and tears started welling up in her eyes; she wasn't sure how to react.

"I understand," she finally said; the disappointment present in her voice. "I knew I couldn't force you to do anything you didn't want."

Without giving any signs, she stood up onto her feet.

"Where are you going?" Smithy asked.

"I'm feeling a bit tired; I'm going to and lie down for a while," she said bitterly.

"Kerry," Smithy said standing up; he couldn't help hearing the bitterness. "I'm really sorry..."

"Just leave it alright," she cut him off as she walked away from him into the bedroom and closed the door.

Smithy sat back down on the sofa feeling guilt wash all over him; maybe it would've been better if he'd kept his feelings to himself. He never meant to upset Kerry; he just felt that maybe he needed to be honest with her, although now he realised that that wasn't the smartest move. Kerry sat down on the bed as the tears began to pour down her face; she couldn't believe what she'd heard from the one person she trusted more than anyone else. But as she sat and thought, she realised that this would've been hard for him; she'd always known that and she had never asked him to adopt the baby as his own, but she did want him to stand in as the father. But if he wasn't going to do that, then what was she going to do? She did know how he felt; it was hard for her too to accept this baby and she knew it was going to be hard for him, especially when they had stayed together. Maybe she should've had a termination if this was how Smithy felt. No, it was her choice to keep the baby and whether Smithy liked it or not, keeping was what she was going to do. Looking at the closed door, she thought of going out and confronting him about it, so she stood up off the bed and walked towards the door. But when she reached out to touch the handle, something went wrong. In the living room, Smithy suddenly heard a scream coming from the bedroom; it sounded like Kerry was in grave pain.

"Kerry?" He shouted as he stood up off the sofa and rushed towards the closed bedroom door.

Opening it, he saw Kerry lying on the floor, clutching at her stomach; she was screaming in agony.

"Kerry what is it?" He asked as he knealt down beside her. "Is it the baby?"

"It hurts!" She screamed. "It hurts!"

"Okay, okay just try and stay calm and I'll call for an ambulance alright?"

"No don't leave me!"

"I'm not, I'll be right back; I'm just going to get the phone. Don't worry."

Smithy stood up again and walked out into the living room; luckily, the phone wasn't far. He took, dialled 999 and rushed back into the bedroom; finally, someone answered on the other side and Smithy was quick to talk.

"I need an ambulance quickly, there's something wrong with my girlfriend," he informed the person answering for the ambulance. "My address is Flat 1, Sycamore House on Woodley Heath Road!"

Once his request had been granted, he hung up the phone and took Kerry into his arms.

"It's alright, the ambulance is on its way," he assured her. "Don't worry, they're going to be here soon."

"Oh Smithy it hurts!" She continued to cry out. "What's happening?"

"We'll find out soon, don't worry; it's going to be okay."

"Oh, oh god!" She suddenly said. "Smithy... I think my water's broke!"

Smithy didn't say anything as she continued to scream in pain and agony; she'd just gone into labour and neither of them could believe it.

"It's too early; it's way too early! The baby's not due for another four months!"

"I know, I know but don't worry; loads of women have premature births, everything's going to be alright; I promise!"

Finally, they heard the sound of sirens approaching and despite Kerry's protests, Smithy made his way to the front door to let the paramedics through so they could tend to Kerry. When they finally managed to get her onto the stretcher, they wheeled her out of the flat into the back of the van and Smithy jumped in beside her as they were brought to St Hugh's.

* * *

Kerry was instantly brought to the maternity ward and by the time she arrived, she was ready to deliver and was prepared right away; Smithy never left her side. The delivery was a nightmare for her; she felt the pain at every minute whenever she pushed and want nothing more than for it all to stop, but with the midwife, the doctor and Smithy urging her to carry on, she knew she had to continue. She kept pushing and pushing and it came to a point where everything became such a blur for her that she heard voices, but couldn't hear what they were saying and she couldn't remember where she was. Smithy looked on as Kerry gave birth and wondered what was going to be coming out of her at any minute, but he decided to just keep talking to her as he held her hand for he knew how much she needed him at that moment. Finally it all came to an end when the doctor made an announcement.

"Here he is; you have a beautiful baby boy!"

Kerry wasn't listening, but Smithy was and watched as the doctor held the little bundle in his hands; he was so tiny and looked so helpless that Smithy felt charmed by the little boy that could've been his. The first move the doctor carried out was putting the tiny premature baby into an incubator.

"Now because he's premature, we're going to have run some tests, but you'll see him very soon."

"Thank you doctor," Smithy said and the incubator was wheeled out of the room, leaving Kerry and Smithy alone.

"Kerry?" Smithy said gently. "Kerry?"

The blur that Kerry was in started fading when she heard the sound of Smithy's voice; everything was finally clear again and she turned to look at him feeling disorienated.

"Smithy? What happened?"

"You did it Kerry, you had the baby; he's here, he's born," Smithy told her smiling.

"He?" Kerry said. "It's a boy?"

"Yeah it's a boy."

"Well, where he is?" She said when she realised there was no baby in the room.

"The doctors need to run some tests on him because he's premature, but we'll see him soon."

"What does he look like?"

Smithy knew he had to be honest, but he didn't need to lie.

"He's beautiful," he said. "He's so tiny and so helpless; I don't know what I was thinking anymore."

"What do you mean?"

"Me doubting about adopting the baby," he began to expalin. "It wasn't a case of making or breaking promises, it was out of fear. I was scared that I wouldn't make a good father after all and that I wouldn't be a good support knowing what I know about the baby's conception. But after seeing him there now, I don't feel doubtful or scared anymore; that baby will need a father and I am only too happy to step in and be that role for him."

Kerry managed to smile, despite how tired she was; she was grateful to him, but she realised that she shouldn't force him to do something he felt unsure about.

"I'm very grateful to you Smithy," she said. "But I don't want you to do something that you feel doubtful about. If you feel adopting him isn't something you can do, you don't have to; there's no pressure on you here..."

"No I want to Kerry," he assured her. "I want to help you bring the baby up; maybe it will take a while, but I will try very hard to accept the baby and take him in as my own; I promise."

"Thank you so much. But like I said, there's no pressure on you, although I couldn't wish for a better father for my baby than you."

Smiling at each other, Smithy reached out his arms and enveloped Kerry into a hug; he was glad to still have her in his life and he felt more confident about becoming an adoptive father. A few moments later, a nurse entered to escort Kerry to a private room and when Kerry asked for news on how the baby was doing, all the nurse could say was that they were still doing tests on him. This was getting Kerry worried; could something be wrong? Once she was in her private room, Smithy helped her climb into bed and the nurse made her comfortable before leaving the couple alone again. They waited for a short while to hear about how the baby was doing until finally, the doctor who had handled the birth entered.

"Miss Young, how are you feeling?" He asked after he entered.

"Tired," Kerry answered. "Where's my baby?"

Once she asked that question, the doctor carried a disturbing look on his face.

"I'm afraid I have some bad news concerning your baby; there were multiple complications due to his incomplete development and although we tried everything we could, we couldn't help him."

Kerry's eyes filled with worry and anxiety as the doctor spoke.

"What do you mean?" She asked. "What are you saying? What's happened?"

"I'm terribly sorry Kerry," the doctor said; his eyes filled with sympathy. "Your baby died five minutes ago; I'm so sorry."


	17. Chapter 17: Relief or Grief?

**Chapter 17 Relief or Grief?**

"Oh," was all that came from Kerry.

She was white as a ghost and numb with shock; she wasn't exactly sure how to feel, what to think or what to say. It was all happening; she had lost a second child, but this pregnancy had been different from her first because this one was an accident and the result of a sexual assault. But that didn't change the fact that she had bonded with the baby and that she had decided to keep it, so was she sad or was she relieved that things had taken this turn.? Smithy and the doctor were both surprised with her reaction.

"Kerry, are you alright?" The doctor said, but she made no reply; it looked as if she didn't even hear him, that she was in another world. "I know this has come as a great shock and it will take quite a great deal to come to terms with this terrible tragedy; I think the best way to deal with it is get some counselling. I'll leave you both alone and if you have any questions, by all means feel free to ask me."

"Thank you doctor," Smithy said and the doctor left the room, closing the door behind him.

Smithy turned to look at the very pale Kerry, who was staring at the space with her widened eyes; it seemed nothing was going to bring her back.

"Kerry," he said gently and she responded; she slowly turned her head round to face, though the look of shock was still there on her face. "I'm so sorry."

She remained silent, but something was coming to her that she wanted to say; she slowly looked away from him again and stared into the space.

"Well that's it; that's it; it's all over," she said quietly.

Smithy felt disturbed by her reaction; he couldn't help notice how calm she was.

"Is that all you have to say about this?" He asked.

Once again, she remained silent for a few moments.

"Well what is there to say?" She finally answered. "How am I supposed to feel when this has happened to a pregnancy of mine that was a total accident? I don't really know what to say or what to think; I knew that even though I had formed a bond with it, I was still having doubts. I wasn't sure if I was really going to love it the way I wanted to; I wasn't sure if I was going to be the mother it needed. Part of me knew that I didn't really want this baby because it was his and that's why I took that overdose, so I could kill it and it looks like it worked after all."

"Kerry," Smithy said gently. "Don't say that. None of this is your fault; these things just happen, they don't happen for a reason."

"But this did; this was Fate's doing. Fate was dealing with this problem for me by taking it all away and now there's nothing to worry about because there's no unwanted pregnancy anymore."

Smithy looked at her and saw the look in her eyes; they were wide open, she hadn't blinked and she was staring into the space. He knew she was in shock and he understood why; how would any mother feel if she loses a baby at birth? He held her hand in his attempts to comfort her, but she didn't seem to be taking any notice; she was a mother who had just lost her child drowned in her emotions and couldn't seem to find her way out.

"Kerry," Smithy said breaking the silence. "This isn't going to be easy, but this is something you are going to have to try and come to terms with; it won't be easy of course because something is this is very hard to let go, but I will help you get through all this I promise."

As if by magic, the wideness in Kerry's eyes just faded away and she seemed to come back to reality as she put her hand on her head.

"I'm tired," she said as she moved down to lie in a comfortable position.

"Oh okay," Smithy was pleased to see her actually move and he helped make her more comfortable. "Yeah just take it easy, get some rest. Eh... I'll just go and grab a coffee, is that okay?"

"Yeah sure, no problem."

"Okay."

Smiling, Smithy left the room, unaware that Kerry was only pretending to be very tired. With what strength she had left, she pressed the button to call a nurse in and a few moments later, a nurse entered the room.

"Everything alright Miss Young?" She asked gently.

"Can I see my baby please?" Kerry asked. "I never actually saw him, so I'd like the opportunity to see him before I bury him."

"Oh of course, I can bring you to the mortuary now if you like."

"Please."

The nurse helped Kerry out of the bed and walked her out of the room. There was an empty wheelchair in the hall and she sat Kerry down on it and wheeled her down through the hospital corridors. Though there were many noises in the corridors, everything was silent for Kerry; she was drowned in her thoughts and feeling of shock. Maybe seeing the baby so she could say a proper goodbye was the best option; she just needed to find some way out of her ordeal. She wasn't paying attention to the journey, but without realising, it came to an end when the nurse stopped right outside the mortuary. Kerry lifted her head as she heard the nurse's voice.

"I'll go in and see if it's alright for you to see him," she said softly.

"Thank you," Kerry replied.

The nurse walked in through the doors, leaving Kerry outside alone to think about what she would see in there. After a few minutes, the nurse returned.

"You can go in," she said.

She was just about to wheel her inside, when Kerry interrupted her.

"No it's okay, I'll just walk in."

"But you're not really ready to walk yet..." the nurse protested as Kerry started standing up.

"No really," Kerry cut her off. "It's fine; I just need to do this on my own. I hope you can understand that."

The nurse didn't say anything, instead she helped Kerry to stand comfortably and walk a little distance before she was able to walk on her own again. Kerry walked in through the doors and her eyes instantly fell upon the stretcher where a little bundle lay wrapped in a blue blanket. She stopped and stared for a few minutes from where she was; it looked so small that she wanted to get closer, so she found herself walking towards it slowly until she was finally standing right next to it. She looked down upon it and could see just how small and helpless he was; his eyes were shut, his skin was pale and he was extremely still. Never in her life had Kerry seen a dead infant, but what this one different was that it was her infant, her baby boy. Slowly, she lifted her hand and gently stroked his tiny head; he was cold and soft. Kerry could feel her feelings of shock turn into feelings of grief as she touched her baby for the first and last time.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered.

The baby made no respond and Kerry slowly bent down to kiss his soft, cold little forehead, for that was when it suddenly dawned upon her that she was a mother who had just lost her baby.


	18. Chapter 18: A Mother's Grief

**Chapter 18: A Mother's Grief**

Kerry was only focusing on what she was doing; she didn't know what was going anywhere else. She was even thinking about where Smithy was and what he was doing, but he was thinking about her. He had just finished having a bit of lunch and was on his way back to her room; passing through the busy corridors of St Hugh's wasn't distracting him from anything. All he wanted was to make sure Kerry was alright, but by the time he got to her room, his eyes widened when he saw she wasn't there. Where could she have gone? When he turned his back, a nurse was passing by so he thought she was someone to ask.

"Eh excuse me," he said stopping her. "Do you know where my girlfriend Kerry Young is? This is her room here, but she's not there; have you got any idea where she might be?"

"Eh no I'm sorry," the nurse replied. "One of the other nurses took her down that corridor there, but I don't know where to. I'm sorry."

"No problem thanks," Smithy said as he let her go on about her business.

He knew St Hugh's well and he looked down the corridor the nurse had pointed out to him; according to the direction board, one of the places it went to was the mortuary. The mortuary; the place in the hospital where the baby would be now. Was it possible that maybe Kerry was there? Smithy felt this was an instinct he had to investigate, so he followed the corridor down to where he wanted it to take him. He walked past many other areas of the hospital where much was going on until finally, he arrived at the mortuary; the nurse who brought Kerry there was still waiting outside.

"Excuse me," Smithy said and she looked up. "Is Kerry Young in there?"

"Yes she is," the nurse replied. "May I ask who you are?"

"I'm her boyfriend, is she okay?"

"These things take time; she wanted to see the baby."

Those last words got to Smithy; so Kerry did care about the baby after all.

"Right okay thanks," he said and he turned to look at the doors, wondering if he should go inside or not.

At least he knew that Kerry didn't really mean all those things she had said earlier, she had only said them because she was upset and shocked; that was something he understood, but didn't know what it felt like, at least not yet. On the other side of the doors, Kerry was still acknowledging her baby's innocence and she didn't even hear the door opening, or at least she did, but ignored it. It was Smithy who had just entered. He quietly closed the door behind him and stayed where he was; he watched as Kerry stroked her dead little boy's head and felt such compassion.

"Kerry?" He suddenly said.

Kerry heard the familiar voice and turned around; she saw Smithy standing there.

"Hi," she said softly.

She continued to look at him and he walked towards her. By the time he was standing beside her, they were both looking down upon the little bundle who was no longer alive.

"Look at him," Kerry said softly. "He's so tiny."

Smithy looked at her and put his arm on her shoulder in an attempt to comfort her; he could see how distressed she looked, but by seeing the baby, he could see why.

"I'm so sorry Kerry," he whispered.

She didn't respond for a few minutes, but by the time those few minutes had passed, she was ready to.

"This is all my doing; I did this. I'm the reason he's dead."

"No Kerry, no," Smithy said gently but firmly. "None of this is your fault; stop blaming yourself because no one else does. If you need a few minutes more with him, I'll wait outside."

"No it's okay, I've had enough time with him; I'm tired."

"Okay well let's get you back to your room then."

Kerry nodded in silence but before turning to leave, she bent down to give her baby one last kiss on the forehead; Smithy wasn't angry, he was completely understandable for any mother would do the same. Kerry turned around and he wrapped his arms around her as he lead out of the mortuary.

* * *

Back in her room, Kerry was comfortable in her bed and relaxing; her head and back were resting against the pillows and she was trying to clear her mind of dreading thoughts. Smithy entered the room and handed her a drink of water.

"Thanks," she said as she took it from him.

He sat down on the chair beside the bed as she took a small gulp of the cool liquid and put the plastic cup on her bedside table. There was more silence in the room as Kerry held her head low before she finally began to talk.

"He was so tiny, so helpless," she said. "I'm sorry, I'm not really in a talking mood."

"That's okay," Smithy said as he took her hand. "You don't have to talk if you don't want to."

"It's just... they say losing a child is hard to face and I've just lost another one, only this one was actually born," she was pouring what she was feeling and Smithy only wanted to listen so he could comfort her. "You know I had a miscarriage just over a year ago, but that was a baby I actually wanted at first anyway; the fact that I had doubts about this was making me wonder if I really did love it and I know I did. Just looking at him in the mortuary made me realise that, but I guess this was another baby I just wasn't meant to have; they do say a baby should be born to two parents who love each other as much as they love the baby. Bad things just keep happening to me; they happen, then something good happens that makes me think everything's going to be okay, until something bad happens again - it's like there's no way out for me, like I can't escape, like I'm being punished for something. But what have I ever done wrong? I don't deserve all this, I'm not a bad person. So why is all this happening to me?"

"Hey Kerry," Smithy stopped her for he wanted to say something. "You can be happy; you deserve to be happy and I want to be the one who makes all this stop. I might not be enough, but I still want to help you get your life back to what it was before someone else ruined it in the first place. I love you Kerry and that's never going to change; I'm here for you, I'll always be here for you; you've made me so happy these past few months and the least I can do is to help you get through this, but I know it's not going to be easy."

Kerry looked away from him as tears began filling up her eyes.

"I'm damaged goods Smithy," she said.

"No Kerry," Smithy gasped in horror. "No you're not, don't say that! Happiness, love and joy; those are the things that a beautiful, wonderful woman like you deserves. You're going to get your life back, I promise and I won't let you down. You're just... you've lost a child and you just need to grieve because I can tell that you really did love that baby and you know what? So did I when I first saw him, I wanted him to be my son."

Kerry stayed silent and found herself unable to hold in the tears any longer; Smithy sat up on the bed and enveloped her in his arms as she broke down over the loss of her child. Smithy didn't want to say anything, for he knew it was best to just let her play her role as the grieving mother until she felt she was ready to let go and move on.


	19. Chapter 19: A Hard Goodbye

**Chapter 19: A Hard Goodbye**

Kerry was discharged from hospital later that week; Smithy had managed to cover up the fact that she had been there, so no one was suspicious. Everyone just thought she was off work because of her "high-blood pressure" and the medication she was on. It wasn't long before the baby's body was to soon be released from the mortuary, so it meant Kerry and Smithy could start planning the funeral. They were both sitting at the table eating some lunch when they got the phone call, though Kerry was poking at her food more than eating it.

"I don't want to bury the baby," she suddenly said. "I want him to be cremated."

Smithy only looked at her for a few moments.

"Are you sure?" He eventually said.

"Yeah it's better for him," Kerry explained. "It's not because I don't want anyone to find out, it's also because I don't want him to rot away in the cold, dark earth. He's too small and he wasn't alive for very long, so this would be better for him; I know it would."

Smithy looked at her and saw the look in her eyes; a look that said just how serious she was. If this was what she wanted, he knew he couldn't go against her wishes; she'd been through enough already and this was the least she could do for herself.

"Of course, I understand," he said as he placed his hand on her wrist. "And if you want me to, I will help you arrange everything."

"Thank you," she said with a slight smile.

* * *

The day finally came when it was time to say goodbye for the last time. As planned, the funeral was held in secret with Kerry and Smithy being the only people attending; they arrived dressed in black in a black car, with the baby's little white coffin arriving in a hearse. Smithy was the one to carry the little coffin into the crematorium; something that touched him to the depths of his soul. The service was a quiet and peaceful one; nothing kept Kerry was breaking down into tears, but at least she had Smithy there to comfort her. Then finally came the moment when the closed doors of the furnace where opened and the little coffin was moved inside; Kerry and Smithy watched in sadness as the little coffin disappeared for the last time when the doors closed behind it. By the time the doors were closed, Kerry broke down in Smithy's arms again, not wanting to think of how the flames were engulfing her baby at that moment.

Shortly it was over, the vicar approached them and handed them the urn that contained the baby's ashes; Kerry found herself being to take them.

"I'm very sorry for your loss," the vicar said with compassion.

"Thank you," Kerry managed to reply.

"Take as much time as you need," the vicar said before he left them alone in the crematorium.

Kerry could sit and stare at the urn, thinking of what was inside and trying to decide what to do with them; Smithy was doing the same.

"You alright?" He said gently.

"Yeah," she replied. "I'm just thinking of where we could scatter them."

"Well we don't have to rush; take as much time as you need."

"No I don't need to because I think I already know where I want to scatter them, but will you come with me?"

"Yeah of course I will."

"Thanks, come with me now."

With that, Kerry stood off her seat and Smithy followed her, wondering where she could be taking them.

* * *

Once they were out of the church grounds, they went for a walk, until finally Kerry came to the place she wanted to come to; the Thames. They were standing on bridge at the dockland area, a place where no one else was, so they had some peace and quiet; Kerry was staring down at the brown coloured waters and Smithy had her sussed.

"Is this the place where you want to scatter them?" He asked.

"Yeah," she began to explain. "The reason is because a river can go anywhere and I want him to be able to go where he likes, so this seems like the best way."

She then stayed silent and looked at Smithy.

"Will you scatter them with me?"

Smithy looked at her silently, before finally saying something.

"Of course," he said smiling with compassion.

And with that, Kerry opened the urn, held the top half while Smithy took the bottom half and let the ashes fall down onto the waters, though the wind caught some. It was done and they looked closely as the waters took the ashes in; Kerry had sent her baby travelling.

"Goodbye," she whispered before Smithy wrapped his arm around her, which she responded to with a hug.


	20. Chapter 20: A Way Out

**Chapter 20: A Way Out**

Days and weeks passed by since the funeral of the baby Kerry never named and if time really was a great healer, he was wasn't healing fast. The trauma was still effecting Kerry hard and it was putting a strain on her relationship with Smithy; she was being more distant, she was often getting angry and upset at work or when someone tried to do something nice for or with her and she wasn't feeling up to anything anymore. Smithy had tried to help her, but she kept pushing his attempts away; the anger was getting to her and she was dying to get rid of it, but no matter what she tried, it was still there and it was eating her alive. It was becoming hard to deal with the anger of always having to suffer so much; being sexually assaulted and mentally taunted about it was one thing, but losing two babies was too much to add on. Despite all the drama and strain on their relationship, Smithy was determined to try and work things out; he still loved Kerry very much and didn't want to lose her so he felt that if he just gave her a bit of space, she'd eventually come to terms with everything and they'd be able to carry on with what they had and shared together.

One day, it apparentley seemed that maybe what Smithy was hoping for had come; he and Kerry went into work and she seemed fine. She was calm, she didn't get angry and she carried out the day as she normally did; this was making Smithy smile, maybe now he was finally getting his girlfriend back. In fact he was so certain, that he used his refs break that day to go to one of Canley's shopping centres and buy her a special gift that he was sure she'd appreciate. But Kerry was calm for a reason, just not the reason Smithy thought. She had been doing a lot of thinking and knew that how she'd been behaving wasn't helping matters and she was not happy with how he was probably feeling about it all. She knew she still loved him and that he was the most important part in her life, which is why she felt there was only one way she could make things better.

The thought had come the previous evening when Kerry was sitting quietly on the bathroom floor crying and drowning in her thoughts; Smithy could hear her from the living room and she knew he could, which was one of the facts that made it all even harder for them both. Her thoughts were enough for her to realise that maybe there was something she could do to make things better for herself and for Smithy, but she would have to put her idea into action calmly and quietly.

* * *

That very next day, Smithy was working late so that gave Kerry enough time to do what she felt she needed to do. Taking her clothes and other belongings, she packed her bags as the hurtfulness of what she was doing took over her. But yet the hardest part came when she sat down at the table and wrote a sorrowful letter to Smithy so he would know why she was going, but not where she was going; she felt this was something she had to do on her own. The tears were pouring down her cheeks and when she had finally finished writing, she put the letter into an envelope, kissed it when she closed it and left it on the table for him to find. Taking her mobile, she dialled a number and held the phone up to her ear waiting for someone to answer; finally an answer came.

"Yeah hi, can I get a taxi from Sycamore House, Woodley Heath Road to Waterloo Station please?"

* * *

Meanwhile, at Sun Hill Police Station, Smithy was just finishing up his paperwork; he was anxious to get home as soon as possible because he had a surprise in store for Kerry. As he was just finishing, Inspector Gold came into the Sergeant's office.

"You in a rush?" She asked.

"Yeah I just want to get this all done and then get home to Kerry," he explained in a joyful way.

"Can I ask what the problem with Kerry is?" Gina suddenly asked.

Smithy looked up at her straight away, trying to think of what to say that would not make her suspicious.

"There is no problem," he said. "She's just been going through a hard time - it's a personal matter that I can't discuss with you or anyone; I hope you understand that. But I think she's okay now, so there's nothing to worry about anymore."

Gina looked at the young Sergeant in silence and could see the seriousness that maybe Kerry was alright now in his eyes, so maybe this was something the young couple could deal with on their own.

"Well that's good to hear; have a lovely evening," she as she made her way back into her own office.

"Thanks Ma'am," Smithy replied as he finally finished what he was writing.

Once he was done packing everything away, he made his way to the male locker room and quickly got changed. Once he was changed, he took what he'd bought for Kerry earlier that day and looked at it; he'd only bought it that day, but he'd been planning to buy it and give it to her for quite some time now. Smiling, he put it into his jacket pocket, made sure he had everything else he needed, shut his locker and made his way out of the locker room, through the corridors and out of the station; he was in a hurry to get home to the woman he loved.

* * *

Back at the flat, Kerry's taxi had arrived and the driver was already helping her to put her luggage into the back of the car. By the time it was finished and the boot was closed, Kerry looked at the flat for a moment before opening the door to the back seat and climbing in. Within seconds, the driver was sitting in the driver's seat, the ignition was turned on and the car was started; it moved away and drove down the road away from the flat and out of the street.

* * *

It was just under ten minutes later that Smithy arrived home, unaware of what had happened. Excitingly, he opened the door with his keys and went inside looking for the one person who he thought the world of.

"Kerry?" He called out, but there was no answer.

"Kerry? Kerry!"

No matter how much he called, there was no answer, so he looked around the rooms but she wasn't there until suddenly, his eyes caught the purple envelope on the table with the name "Dale" written on it; he recognised the handwriting, it was indeed Kerry's. Wondering what this meant, he picked it up, opened it, took out the letter and read it in an appropriate speed for him. Within a minute, the letter fell to the ground and Smithy's face carried a look of shock, despair and heartbreak as he went as white as a ghost.

* * *

At the ever busy station of Waterloo, Kerry was seated on one of the trains already waiting for it to leave. She could only sit almost very still and rest her head against the head rest as she thought of Smithy and what she was leaving behind. Finally, the doors closed and within seconds, the train was leaving the platform and the station. Tears filled Kerry's eyes and poured down her face as she looked out the window at London; she knew what she'd miss and who she'd miss and the one person she'd miss most of all was in the photo she was holding in her hands - the photo of Smithy was everything she needed to remind her of how much she would miss him, but yet she hoped he would understand why she felt she had to go.


	21. Chapter 21: Loneliness Is Bitter

**Chapter 21: Loneliness Is Bitter**

The flat was silent; there was no movement happening anywhere. The letter was lying next to the very devastated Sergeant sitting on the sofa staring into space and finding it hard to believe what had happened. Slowly, he turned his head to look at the letter, picked it up and read it again; he heard Kerry's voice in his mind as he read what she wrote for him.

_Dear Smithy,  
You know as well as I do that things haven't been the way they should be and that's something we can't pretend to ignore. I keep trying to think of how we could make all this right again because all this anger I keep feeling won't stop taking over me at every turn it gets and it's like I can't stop it. I can't let you go through any of this anymore because it's not fair to you; you deserve so much better than this and I feel that there's only one way to set things right again. I really need to pull myself together and I don't think I can do that if I stay in Sun Hill, so I need to get away; I need my own space and you can't come with me because this is something I need to do on my own. I hope you can understand that._

_Know that I'm not running away, I'm doing something for myself and for you because I can't carry on like this; I want to stop and nothing seems to be working. Smithy, I love you so much and you are the right man for me in every way, but while I'm gone, if you get tired of waiting for me, I'll understand; I actually think you might be better off with someone else. I don't know if I'll ever come back, but know this, you don't have to wait for me; you have a choice. I can't tell you where I've gone because I need to do this alone; this is just something you can't help me with. Please try to understand that._

_I love you._

_Kerry.  
xxx_

After reading the letter again, Smithy felt himself shaking as all his feelings washed over him; Kerry had really left him? This couldn't be happening. Picking up his phone, he dialled her number but it went straight through to voice mail, so he decided to leave a message.

"Kerry, it's me. Where are you? Please, please come back! Come home Kerry, please!"

He suddenly found himself unable to finish, so he hung up and sat back on the sofa as the tears began to fall from his eyes. He thought of what was happening and tried to understand what she was trying to say, but it didn't stop him from feeling heartbroken; he couldn't have just lost the woman he loved this way, he just couldn't have. Everything was meant to be better between him and Kerry, not like this and what he was carrying in his pocket said that; he reached in and pulled out a small white velvet box and opened it, looking at what was inside - it was a silver ring with a cluster of diamonds; a diamond engagement ring. His hopes and plans for that night had been blown to bits and he didn't know what to do, until he found himself standing up, taking his keys and heading for the door.

* * *

In another part of Sun Hill, Gina Gold was making herself a hot drink as she put the kettle on and was in for a surprise when she heard the doorbell ring, for she hadn't expected any visitors. Without hesitance, she walked towards the door and opened it; surprise came to her when she saw Smithy standing there in bits.

"Smithy," she said. "What are you doing here?"

"She's gone," Smithy said through his tears. "Kerry, she's gone and I don't know if she's ever coming back."

* * *

Wherever Kerry was now, she was still on the train waiting to reach her destination; almost everyone else on the train were asleep, but not her. Her thoughts and tears were keeping her awake, like she didn't want to go to sleep. The decision she had made was heartbreaking, but it was for the best, thought she wasn't sure if she'd cope or not; she just stayed in her seat and let the journey go on until she would reach where she felt she needed to go.


	22. Chapter 22: Turn To A Friend

**Chapter 22: Turn To A Friend**

"How could she just leave?" Smithy exclaimed through his tears as Gina sat next to him. "We were perfectly happy, how could she just go?"

Kerry may not have been Gina's favourite person in the world, but that was irrelevant because she knew how important the young woman was to Smithy. She read the letter herself and could that Kerry was saying she needed some space, but she didn't know why.

"Well she says in this letter that she needs her own space and she also say things between you two haven't been the way they should be," she explained. "What does she mean by that?"

"I told you, it's personal," he shot back to her. "It's not something I can tell you!"

Gina saw just how upset Smithy was and the last thing she wanted was to make things worse.

"I should go looking for her," he suddenly said. "Beg her to come home; I keep trying her mobile, but it just goes straight through to voice mail. Maybe if I find her and just talk to her, then she'll come home."

"Smithy," Gina said gently. "We've both read the letter and she's only asking you to give her some space; she makes it clear that whatever's going on, it's not something you can help her with. There are some things that we all have to do on our own to make things right and she obviously feels that going away is the best way for her to do that. So it's probably best that you let her do what she needs to do; it's best that you respect and grant her wishes."

Smithy was hearing what Gina was saying, but he shook his head at the thought that she was telling him to forget about Kerry.

"I love her," he said through his tears. "I can't just forget about her; she's the only one for me!"

"I'm not saying you should forget about her," Gina insisted. "I know you love her and I know she loves you, which is why I think you should just give her what she needs right now. Because if it's any consolation, I do believe she is doing this for you as well as herself. And she might come back; she doesn't say in the letter that she isn't coming back. I think she'll come back in her own time; just let her do whatever she needs to do and everything will be alright."

Maybe Gina was right, maybe he did just need to give Kerry what she was asking for in her letter because that way she would come back. But as he acknowledged this, he just hoped wherever she was, she was safe and still loving him as much as he was still loving her.

* * *

Later that night, Smithy was lying on Gina's sofa, which she had made up for him so it was comfortable enough to sleep on. He'd decided not to go home because being alone was the last thing he wanted. Gina had gone to bed, but Smithy was having trouble sleeping; his thoughts were keeping him awake - all his thoughts were about Kerry. Giving her some space kept repeating in his mind as he reminded himself that Gina was right was when she said that Kerry was doing this for him as well as herself, but he felt he wanted her to know that and he couldn't keep it to himself anymore. Sitting up on the sofa, he took his phone, dialled Kerry's number and waited for the voice mail to be finished before he said what he needed to say.

"Kerry it's me; look I understand why you've gone, I just don't understand why you didn't tell me instead just leaving a letter. But look, I want you to know that I still love you and I will be waiting for you to come back. So please, do what you must and when you've done it, please come home; I'll still be here for you if you come back, I promise. I love you."

The message was finished, so he hung up and fought the tears that were stinging in the corner of his eyes; he rubbed them away with his fingers and let his thoughts get smaller before he lay back down on the sofa to go to sleep. As he lay there trying to let sleep overcome him, someone had been watching him from the hall; Gina. She overheard the message and once again, she could see the seriousness of how Smithy felt for Kerry and she knew how much she wanted him to be happy; it all made her hope that Kerry would come back once she'd done what she needed to.


	23. Chapter 23: Sticking The Knife In

_A special thanks to Vikki (Colenel Sam Carter) for helping me decide what to do with this chapter._

_Thanks darling!_

_Hope you all enjoy it!_

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 23: Sticking The Knife In**

The next week went by slowly for Smithy; life without Kerry was not enjoyable at all. He left a second message on her mobile, but she didn't reply; he more or less got the message that she didn't need people disturbing her, including people she was close to. He just hoped that wherever she was, she was safe and that she would come back home to him soon; he could never just find someone else when he still had her and she was all he wanted. Until the day when she would return would come, he tried to focus his attention on something else but it wasn't easy; nothing was stopping him from missing the woman he loved. Work was the same - more cases to be resloved, more criminals to be arrested and locked up; nothing was all that different in Sun Hill Police Station in terms of the police work. With the serial rapist, Alan Kennedy caught and in prison awaiting his trial, the work related questions on everyone's minds were what next big case would they be meeting? Maybe their question would be answered soon or maybe not; they never knew until the day when that case would come. Well, the next big case arrived when trouble at a local secondary school came to light; an arson on the school had happened and it was up to both Uniform and CID to find the culprit responsible. They had discovered where the fire had started, but now there were various problems to deal with and they did involve teenagers.

* * *

Smithy was out in the area car with Tony and were waiting to hear if there would be any action for them to deal with; the answer to that question finally came when they got a call out on the radio.

"All units from Sierra Oscar," the voice of Dean called out over the PR. "Reports of a disturbance in Sherbourne Park over."

"We'll take that," Smithy told Tony before talking into his radio. "Sierra Oscar from Sierra One, show us dealing over."

The blue lights were flashing and the sirens were ringing out as Tony drove them in the direction of Sherbourne Park. The journey was cut short by Tony's driving speed and they arrived to find two boys beating a girl; the car was stopped and the two officers were out to take action.

"OI!" Smithy's voice shouted out and the two boys heard him.

They saw two police officers rushing towards them, so they scarpered in different directions forcing Tony and Smithy to split up as they chased after them. Tony managed to corner one of them, but unfortunately lost him when he hit him in the face and fled; everything was more dangerous for Smithy though, for he was unaware that the boy he was chasing was armed with a knife. He kept the chase up until he finally caught up with him and dived for him, knocking him to the ground; the knife was there in the boy's hand and as they struggled, he slashed Smithy's arm in an attempt to keep Smithy away from him. But upon seeing the knife, Smithy jumped at him and tried to get the knife off him, but they only struggled more and more and then, it happened. Smithy gave out a scream of pain and rolled over onto his back; the knife had pierced through him and he couldn't find his way back onto his feet. The boy just stood there in horror when he saw what had happened; this was what not he had intended to happen. Not knowing what else to do, he took hold of the knife and pulled it out, causing Smithy to scream in even more pain. The boy fled, leaving Smithy alone; he could voices but couldn't make out what they were.

"54 from 595, where are you Serge?" Tony called out over the radio. "Serge?"

When there was no answer, he went searching for him; clearly something was wrong. As he ran through the park, there was still no sign of Smithy so he called out for him over the PR again.

"54 from 595, are you receiving me Serge?"

There was still no answer so Tony kept looking, but the search wasn't to go on for much longer for Smithy finally came into Tony's sight and he knew right away something was wrong when he saw that his sergeant was lying still on the ground.

"Smithy! Ambulance required west side of Sherbourne Park in the rose gardens!" Tony called into his radio as he ran to Smithy's side.

"Come on Smithy, come on," he said as he rolled Smithy onto his back.

That was when he saw the blood and when he removed Smithy's tie and opened his stab vest and shirt, that was when he saw the wound; a feeling of horror shot through him knowing that his friend had been stabbed and while waiting for the arrival of the ambulance, he knew he had to help him in the meantime.

"Sierra Oscar from 595, where is the ambulance?" He called into his radio. "Sgt Smith has been stabbed in the chest!"


	24. Chapter 24: Wishes

**Chapter 24: Wishes**

The ambulance van carried Smithy to St Hugh's Hospital, but he didn't know where he was; his colleagues were fret with worry. Once he arrived, he was given surgery to heal the wound; the doctors obviously did their work well. His wound was only seen to, not healed, but by the time they were done, he was still alive. He was laid in a hospital bed; still unconscious, drips and a heart monitor were attached to him. The drips would keep his fluids high and the heart monitor would tell if his heart had stopped or not. A large plaster was on his chest in the middle of his pectoralis major muscles; another next to his neck over the stab wound. A bandage was wrapped around the slash wound on his right arm; a blood pressure cuff was wrapped around his left arm. He was lying very still; his eyes firmly shut, his chest was slowly moving up and down; he was still breathing. An oxygen tube had been placed in his mouth and down his throat; more oxygen was being breathed into him; it was helping him to breathe. He looked so peaceful; there were two ways to describe how he looked - he looked as if he were dead; he looked as if he would wake up at any minute. All his colleagues were worried; the questions they were asking are all the same - would he wake up? Would he pull through? Or would he die? He lay in the bed and the nurse watching him did her duties and check ups. Gina was also in the room with her Sergeant and friend checking on his condition. She was very worried; she was a good Inspector and worried for all her officers when any of them were put in danger, but Smithy especially because he was one of her closet friends. She could only stare at the horrifying sight, hoping he would pull through, but she was not on her own. Another friend of Smithy's was standing outside looking in through the glass windows of the door; Tony. He had been there when it happened and was there in the hospital to check up on his old friend. Gina came out and greeted him before he asked his questions.

"Is he okay?" He asked.

Gina took a second to answer the question; she took a deep breath.

"His lung was punctured so it collapsed," she replied without taking her eyes off Smithy.

"Just the lung or anything else?" Tony asked again.

"Just the lung," Gina answered turning away from Smithy for a second.

"So he'll be okay then?" Tony asked again, for he felt relief wash over him.

"They won't say," Gina began using her usually sarcastic tone of voice. "The fact that he's not dead means he's riding his luck; let's just hope it holds and I'm sure it will; he's strong."

The Inspector and the PC just stayed where they were and looked in at the Sergeant through the glass windows; he was still unconscious and so still. The only part of him moving was his chest; it was moving up and down, showing he was still breathing. The two officers only looked at him thinking of the condition he was in, hoping he would pull through for Gina was right when she said Smithy was strong.

* * *

The day went by and the whole relief could only talk and think about Smithy, hoping he would pull through and their hopes were eventually fulfilled. He came round in the early hours of the evening and everyone was relieved, especially Gina who had stayed with him at the hospital. She was sat next to his bed trying to comfort him.

"How are you feeling?" She asked.

"Fine," he answered shakily. "I'm still alive and that's the whole point."

Gina smiled at his sarcastic remark.

"Well the latest news is they found a knife," she told him.

Smithy felt some relief and nodded his head.

"Good," he said.

It was silent for a second, until he began to talk again.

"It was stuck in my chest," he explained.

"You were stabbed there," Gina corrected him, until he cut her off.

"No I mean... it was stuck in there," he was getting as much as he could off his chest, for he felt so much fear about what had happened. "And when he let go of it… it just stayed there. I could see it, I could feel it. And then when he came back to pull it out… there was nothing I could do… and I just thought… I just thought he was going to do it again."

"I know," Gina gently cut him off. "It's alright; you're still with us. There's nothing to worry about; we'll get who did this I promise you."

Smithy didn't say anything else for a few seconds; he just lay his head back and tried to rest, but there was something he couldn't stop thinking about that had nothing to do with the attack. As silence flowed on by, he eventually managed to say what he was feeling.

"I wish Kerry was here. If she knew I was here, maybe she'd come home."

Gina heard what he said and realised how serious he was; something then came to her mind, for she felt she had to do something.

"I'll be right back; there's something I need to do."

She got up off the chair and walked out of the room, leaving Smithy confused. Out in the corridor, Gina dialled a number at the pay phone and waited until she could say something.

* * *

A couple of hours went by and Smithy was alone with no visitors, just resting if not sleeping. He may not have had any visitors at that moment, but it didn't mean he wouldn't get any, for a visitor was arriving now. She had rushed to get to the hospital and had begged the staff to tell her were Smithy was, especially when she showed her warrant card and that was when her request was granted. She walked to the doors of Smithy's room, looked through the window and saw him lying there; tears were pouring down her face. She was afraid to go in; what if he wouldn't be pleased to see her after all? She took her time and finally, courage came to her and she opened the door. Smithy was disturbed by the noise of the door being opened that he was able to open his eyes and see who had entered the room; his eyes widened as much as they could. It was who he had wanted to come; he was so amazed to see her that he gasped her name.

"Kerry!"


	25. Chapter 25: Return Home

**Chapter 25: Return Home**

It was Kerry; she was back. She was standing there at the door with her face stained with the tears she had just shed; she was silent for a moment for she did not know what to say. But Smithy's face said something; that he was happy to see her back, so maybe it was alright to talk for that was why she'd come.

"Hey," she finally said as she walked slowly towards him, "how are you feeling?"

"Fine," he said, "I'm a bit sore and tired, but all of a sudden I feel much better. How did you know I was here?"

"Gina called me and left me a message," she explained as she sat on a chair next to the bed. "When I heard what had happened, I couldn't stay away anymore so I had to come back; I had to know if you were okay."

She wiped away a few tears while Smithy only watched her; he hadn't even held put his hand to her because he had questions that he wanted answered.

"Where have you been? Where did you go?" he started to ask. "Why didn't you return any of my calls?"

"I told you, I needed some space," she replied, "I needed to be on my own so I could get my head clear and think properly."

"But why didn't you tell me you were planning to go away? I could've helped you..."

"No Smithy you couldn't," she said cutting him off. "No one could; I had to go on my own and I'm glad I did because I was really able to think clearly about everything."

Smithy was listening to what she was saying, but he needed more explanations.

"So where did you go?" He asked with some coldness present in his voice.

"I went to Brighton," she said. "I thought that was the best place to go to and I was right; I mean being by the sea helped clear my head and I went to see a therapist as well, that was really helpful too."

"But you've been getting professional help here..." Smithy pointed out.

"Yeah I know, but I wasn't not going to get some if I went away," Kerry explained. "And it was helpful. I went away so I could pull myself together and because I hated what I was putting you through; I could see how the changes of recent events have been taking its toll on you, so I wanted to give you some space too."

"But I didn't need space, I needed you!" he said. "I only need the woman I fell in love with and I was trying to get you back."

"I know you were and so I went away so I could get her back."

Smithy heard her and started to understand what she was trying to tell him.

"And as soon as I got my head straight and I was able to think, all I've been thinking about is you Smithy," Kerry said. "What we have is really special and I don't want anything to destroy it; you are what's important to me and what has happened lately, I'll get over it, I'll move on but I need you to move on with me. I love you Smithy and I am not prepared to let anything ruin our happiness, so please don't push me away over what's happened. I'm sorry I went away, but I'm back now and I'm not going anywhere."

He looked at her and saw the look in her eyes; he knew she was telling the truth and he had her back. Now that he did, he wasn't prepared to lose her again nor was he going to turn her away; he loved her too much for that. For the first time in his life ever since he'd been with Kerry, he was truly happy and turning her away would mean that he would lose too much; something he could not bear to let happen. Kerry was looking at him with worry, for she was desperate to know if he would let her stay in his life; she thought she'd made it clear that she came back because he was all she wanted and that she did truly love him. Maybe she had made the wrong decision in going away because she could see that he was hurt by that decision, so could he ever forgive her? The answer to that question was to be answered for Kerry saw Smithy's answer when he held out his hand to her; she placed her hand into his and he held it. She looked at him and saw that he was smiling; he'd forgiven her.

"I understand why you felt you had to go away," he said. "But you're back now and that's all that matters; that's all I wanted. You've given me so much ever since we've been together and I'm certainly never going to let you go because if I did, I can't imagine what life would be like without you. I love you too Kerry and everything will be okay."

A smile lit up Kerry's face; she was relieved that she wasn't going to lose him after all.

"We'll get through it all together?" she said.

"We will," he assured her.

The moment of their smiles was stopped when Smithy brought his hand to Kerry's face; he felt so happy to feel her soft cheek again and she knew what message he was giving her. She responded when she bent over and softly kissed him; she didn't want to hurt him, so she knew she had to be careful. Smithy forgot the pain he was still suffering the stab wound for having Kerry there with him was all he needed to feel better and safe; he had missed her so much that he enjoyed this intimate moment while he could and so did she, though both of them were unaware that someone was watching from outside in the corridor. Gina had just arrived to check up on Smithy and smiled when she saw as she looked in through the window; her plan to grant Smithy's wish that worked and she could see that he was happy now that Kerry was back with him. She didn't want to interrupt them; she didn't need to for she knew that everything was fine.


	26. Chapter 26: Normal Again

**Chapter 26: Normal Again**

Smithy remained in hospital for a few days following his stabbing, while Kerry took that time to settle back into the flat; everything was almost the way it was before. There was still a number of things that had to be done before everything would be as they say "normal again". For one thing, Kerry had a few things to clear up with Gina before she was able to return to work; no one apart from Kerry and Smithy knew the real reason for Kerry's sudden absence and they knew couldn't tell the truth. The day after Kerry's return, she had a meeting with Gina to clear up everything and she certainly felt nervous because she wasn't sure if the Inspector would believe anything she said. The minute she walked into the Inspector's office and the door was closed behind her by Gina herself, that was when everything started.

"So then Kerry," Gina started off, "I trust everything is alright with you now?"

"Yeah everything's fine ma'am," Kerry replied, hoping she sounded convincing enough.

Gina remained silent for a moment as she looked at the PC sitting in front of her desk, before finally continuing.

"I have been a bit worried about what's been going lately with you and Smithy; I hope you understand what I mean."

"Yes ma'am completely; I am sorry for the amount of drama that's happened surrounding me being off work quite a lot, but I did go through a pretty hard time and as Smithy as told you, I went through some medical complications. But I can assure you that everything is absolutely fine now. I know that you know I went away for a week and I can assure you, it was to sort things out. But once again, I am very sorry for everything and I would like get back into work as soon as possible, if I can."

Gina could tell that Kerry was hiding something and wondered if questioning her about it was worth it; maybe it wasn't, but she tried anyway.

"You know Kerry," she said, "if there's something really wrong, whatever it is you can tell me."

"I hear you ma'am and I'm grateful that you would like to help," Kerry replied, "but this is something that's strictly between me and Smithy; it's not something we can bring to work or tell anyone else. But it doesn't matter now anyway because I assure you, everything is fine now - I just want to get back to work and Smithy is determined to get out of hospital, but everything between us is fine, I promise."

There was nothing she could do, so she was left with no choice but to accept that, as well as giving an answer to Kerry's request to start work again.

"Very well, no problem and it'll be great having you back at work again, but I think I'll give you this day off and you can start back officially tomorrow; off you go."

"Thanks ma'am," Kerry said smiling before getting up off her seat and leaving the office.

Gina carried the look on her face that said suspicious, for she was suspicious and curious about what Smithy and Kerry were hiding, but it was something she was just going to have to let go. For now, things were slowly settling down again and that was what had to concentrated on; at least Smithy had both Kerry and Gina visiting him in hospital and it was a relief that he should be out before the Christmas holidays, which were only a few days away, so he wouldn't be going straight back to work once he got out.

* * *

The day finally came when Smithy was to be discharged from hospital. Kerry had started back at work two days before and the morning of that day when she was on patrol with Yvonne, she was more than happy when the first thing they were to deal with was a serious assault on a sixteen year old boy; it wasn't the assault she was happy with, it was the fact that it meant she would have to go to hospital because it meant she would be able to check up on Smithy. After she and Yvonne had called in CID, she managed to let Yvonne excuse her for a few minutes and went to see her boyfriend. Smithy was asleep when she arrived, so she thought she'd try and play a little when she sat down on his bed, but then she heard a familiar grunt.

"You're not sneaking up on me that easily you know," Smithy said sarcastically.

Kerry smiled at first.

"Hey," she said before leaning in to kiss him. "How are you feeling?"

"Yeah I'm alright; I'm a bit sore and the hole in my lung whistles everytime I breathe," he said.

"Probably best to avoid breathing then," Kerry said and they both laughed lightly.

"Actually the doctor said I might be able to go home tonight, well I said 'this morning' and he said 'next week'."

"Well I'm on shift till ten so, give me a text and I'll come and take you home."

"Yeah sure thanks," he said as he held her hand. "So how does it feel being back at work?"

"Yeah it's good being back on the beat," she said, "Yvonne have just brought a sixteen year old boy who's been seriously assaulted, but I'm glad things are really settling; we just need to get you back home now. You've no idea how happy I am that you'll definitely be home for Christmas."

Smithy just smiled rather than say anything; he was really happy that the old Kerry was back and everything between them was getting better and better after everything they'd been through recently. But this visit had to be short as planned, although maybe a little shorter than Kerry had hoped for the two were interrupted by a third person. It was Yvonne.

"Kerry, she said until she saw Smithy. "Hi Serge, how are you feeling?"

"Yeah I'm fine thanks; I should be going home tonight," Smithy explained.

"Oh that's great and at least you'll have this one at home with you but eh Kerry, sorry to break up the romance but we have to go now."

"Oh right yeah sure," Kerry said before turning back to Smithy. "So listen, I'll be back tonight and I'll bring you home."

"Yeah sure," he assured her.

"Yeah," she said smiling before kissing him again and leaving him to rest.

Back to work it was for Kerry as she rejoined Yvonne and they made their way out of the hospital; Yvonne thought she'd liven up the mood a little.

"How romantic eh?" she said smiling, which made Kerry blush.

"Very romantic, though hopefully more romantic on Christmas," Kerry replied.

This was something for the two friends to talk about; at least this showed Kerry was back to normal with her friends, especially her close friends like Yvonne, Honey and Andrea. She was also back on good terms with her male friends Tony, Reg, Nick Klein, Gary Best and Lance Powell; things between her and Cameron were still awkward and of course, she kept well away from Gabriel. He had already ruined her life and she wasn't going to let him ruin it again, especially when she'd just managed to rebuild after everything he put her through. At least everything was very relaxed and calm that night when she brought Smithy home from hospital; he had been instructed to take things easy for the time being, but at long as he had his girlfriend as his nurse, he would definitely be relaxed.

* * *

The days went by and finally, the Christmas holidays began. Everyone attended the Christmas party that the station had every year and Kerry and Smithy were certainly very happy to be attending as a couple. The night was full of music, dancing, drinking and much fun and excitement, but it wasn't anything compared to the quiet Christmas that everyone spent with their families and friends. Everyone who deserved to be happy was happy and everything was finally the way it should be; Kerry was her old self once again, she had all her friends, her job but most important of all, she had her boyfriend and it made Smithy smile seeing her smile; this Christmas was truly a wonderful Christmas for them.


	27. Chapter 27: Christmas

**Chapter 27: Christmas**

It had been two weeks since Smithy's stabbing and he was now fully recovered, though he had not returned to work as Christmas was approaching and now that very day had arrived. On the snowy Christmas morning, Smithy awoke with Kerry beside him and felt a twinge of joy and excitement, for there was something that he had planning for this day. Everything between them was much better ever since the turn of events that could've destroyed their relationship; Kerry was back to being her usual cheerful self and her work had very much improved; she was happy to be working again and to be around her friends as well as her boyfriend and Smithy wanted to keep things that way. As Kerry still slept, he carefully and quietly climbed out of the bed and crept into the kitchen where he made two cups of hot tea and carried them in a tray, along with some of the Christmas presents under the tree. By the time he got back to the bedroom, Kerry was already waking up; she sat up in the bed as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes and yawned all the tiredness out of her.

"Merry Christmas," Smithy said put the tray down on the bed and handed Kerry her tea.

"Merry Christmas," she replied, before taking a sip of the hot liquid, "are these all the presents?"

"Yeah, these are yours and these are mine."

Kerry put her mug on the nightstand and they both got to work in unwrapping their gift. Kerry received new cosmetics, clothes and accessories from the likes of Honey, Yvonne and Andrea and Smithy received the usual football items from the likes of Tony, Reg, Gary and Nick, but the one he liked most was the latest West Ham shirt from Kerry.

"Thanks love," he said as he leaned in to kiss her.

"You're welcome; I knew you'd like it," she said.

"And I suppose you're wondering where my present for you is."

"Well I don't want to make a fuss; I don't mind you didn't get me anything."

"Well I get you something, but I was saving it for last," he explained. "It's actually something I've been planning for a few weeks now and I meant to do it sooner, but you disappeared before I could."

Kerry looked at him confusion, while Smithy stood up off the bed and walked over to the chest of drawers, taking something from his own drawer. He walked back to Kerry and put a small white velvet box on the bed; she stared at it, while Smithy sat down again.

"You don't have to open it, but it's there for you if you want it," he said as she looked at him.

Kerry didn't know what to do; she stared at the box for what seemed like hours to her, until she felt herself taking it in her hands and bringing it closer to her. While one hand held it tight, the other slowly lifted the lid open and inside was what she thought it would be.

"Oh..." she gasped gently as she saw the diamond, silver ring.

Silence was present, until Smithy took the box from her, took the ring and got down on one knee.

"I know this is probably what you were suspecting and I know we haven't together for that long, but we've known each other for a long time," he said, "and the fact that we know each other upside-down, inside-out; it says we've got nothing to worry about. I've been so happy being with you and even more happy that you're back to being your old self; what we have is really special and I want it to stay that way. But I am ready to take a step forward and I want to do it because I love you Kerry and I want to spend the rest of my life with you; make you as happy as you've made me. So, will you? Will you marry me?"

Kerry could only keep staring at him as thoughts and acknowledgements rushed through her head, until words finally came to her.

"I've been down this road before and I didn't think I'd want to hear those words again before you and me happened, but you proved me wrong Smithy," she said as she brought a smile to her face. "Yes I will, I will marry you!"

Smithy smiled with delight and relief and slid the ringer onto Kerry's finger; it was a perfect fit and match. Kerry threw her arms over him as she kissed him and held him in her embrace; the day had only started, but it was already turning into a wonderful Christmas.

* * *

The rest of the day was spent as any couple, let alone a couple who had just got engaged, would spend Christmas together; there was a delicious Christmas dinner with mulled wine, turkey, stuffing and roast potatoes and watching a favourite Christmas movie afterwards. While sitting cuddled up on the sofa in front of the TV watching the classic Christmas movie, _It's A Wonderful Life, _Smithy brought up a subject that Kerry had not been expecting on that day at least.

"Kerry, when do you think we should tell people?"

"I don't know I mean, a wedding is a big deal and after my first one, I don't think I want to make a big deal out of this one but I do want it to be perfect."

"Hey don't worry that's fine with me," he assured her as he stroked her hair, "if you like, we could only tell a few people first and wait till everything's sorted before we make an announcement."

"I like that idea yeah, thanks," she said, "but who should we tell first?"

"Well I'd like Gina to be the first to know," he said convincingly, but Kerry carried a look on her face that said the exact opposite.

"Why? Why her?"

"Well why not? She's my closet friend; she's like a second mum to me," he took Kerry's hand when he noticed the look on her face, "I know you and her have your differences, but she's not that bad. All those times when she was hard on you before, she was only trying to snap you out of the mood you were in; she's like with everyone."

He was hoping that Kerry would take all this on board, but she just shook her head.

"It's not as simple as that Smithy; before you came back, me and Gina used to get on fine, but then we fell out and do you know why we fell out? Because she lied to me; she knew about Luke and she didn't tell me. She could've told me and stopped the wedding, but her main priority was to maintain order in the station, even if it meant her telling Luke and Gilmore to lie to me. But Smithy, that's no excuse; she could've told me, especially when Luke wasn't going to and then she got annoyed with me for screwing up on a gang rape case we were working on at the time. Because of a mistake I made, the key witness nearly blew the whole thing, but Gina managed to stop us from losing; it didn't change anything between us though. I know she means a lot to you Smithy, but she let me down and I don't know if she regrets it or not; I'm sorry it's just..."

"No, no it's okay; it's okay," he assured her as he pulled her back into the cuddle, "it doesn't matter; we don't need to think about this."

* * *

Smithy carried the shock of discovering Gina's actions with him for the next couple of days; he'd never dreamt that she'd do a thing like that, but he didn't want to let it get in the way of everything else. After what Kerry told him, he had a change of heart on who to tell first and so they broke the news to his mum Pauline and Kerry's dad George, who were thrilled and excited, just like the best man and the bridesmaids when they were informed on the first day back at work. For his best man, Smithy chose Nick and for her bridesmaid, Kerry chose Yvonne, Honey and Andrea; as if it was ever going to be hard choosing her bridesmaids in the first place, but the four of them were sworn to secrecy on the subject. So the future bride and groom were making a good start on getting everything ready for their wedding, but there was still one thing Smithy wanted to get over with and it happened on the very same day in the Inspector's office. Gina was in her office doing her usual duties, when a knock came on the door.

"Yeah?" she called out.

The door opened and Smithy walked.

"Ma'am, I was wondering if I could have a word; I've got some news to tell you," he said with a nervous tone.

"Oh well, let's hear it," Gina said as she continued sorting out her files.

"It's about me and Kerry; we're getting married."

Gina suddenly stopped what she was doing and quickly looked up at the Sergeant.

"Married? Are you serious?"

"Yeah; I proposed to Kerry on Christmas Day and she said yes. We're not making a big announcement yet; I just wanted to tell you."

Gina was silent for a moment, but eventually managed to get herself talking again.

"Oh... well... that's wonderful news; congratulations."

"Is it?" Smithy suddenly replied in a sharp tone.

"Sorry?" Gina asked.

"Is it wonderful news?"

She looked at him and saw a hint of anger in his eyes.

"I don't know what you mean."

"Kerry told me that you were involved in covering up the truth about Luke," he said sharply. "I've been trying to work out why you've never liked her for a long time, but then I find out that you let her marry him knowing all along what he was. Why didn't you tell her before it was too late?"

"Smithy, my main priority is to maintain order in this station..." Gina replied before Smithy cut her off.

"No, no, no don't do that! You judge Kerry on her professionalism and if she ever lets her personal life get in the way, you've always got something to say about it but the truth is, you had no right to be judge and jury on her in that situation!"

"And why's that?"

"Because you screwed up as well! You knew about Luke, but you let that wedding go ahead knowing that he was gay and that he'd slept with Gilmore! You lied to Kerry about it, you told Luke and Gilmore to lie to her, but you could've stopped all that from happening you know; you knew Luke wasn't going to. You could've told Kerry the truth and you could've stopped that wedding, so why didn't you? Why didn't you spare her all the hurt and pain she went through? And keeping order in the station, couldn't you have put that aside? There are things more important than the job you know! Whether you will admit it or not, you are partly responsible for everything Kerry went through back then and I really can't understand why you don't like her. She's the most wonderful person I have ever met; so what if she made a mistake with that gang rape case? At least you still got a guilty verdict, but that's not a reason to not like her; we've all made mistakes, even you've made mistakes. Look Gina, I love Kerry and she loves me and we're getting married, but I want you to stop being so bloody stubborn and put your professionalism to the side so you can at least try to put your differences aside and learn to like her again because you used to like her before you screwed up. But if you can't do anything of this, well then maybe it's for the best that you don't celebrate our happiness. It's alright Gina, you don't have to go the wedding."

Gina heard every word that Smithy said and acknowledged that he was in fact right; she hadn't handled the whole Luke situation well and maybe it was time for her to give Kerry another chance, if not for her than for Smithy. Smithy turned around and walked out of the office, giving Gina time to think; Kerry had not been her favourite person in the world, but she could see how much the young PC meant to Smithy, so it was time to put their differences aside once and for all.

* * *

Within an hour, Kerry found herself being called to the Inspector's officer; why would Gina want to see her? What was going on? She knew she wouldn't get those questions answered until she had talked to Gina, so she waited until the two were able to start their conversation. Before Kerry realised it, she was in Gina's office and Gina was standing in front of her.

"Well, I've been talking to Smithy and he told me about the engagement," Gina explained.

Kerry's eyes widened; she thought Smithy had got the message that they weren't going to tell Gina until later. The Inspector acknowledged Kerry's silence.

"Kerry the reason I called you in is because I want us to put our difference aside; I know I let you down with everything with Luke, but I'd like to try again. It's what Smithy wants and I know how much you mean to him; that's why he told me. And I want you to know, I think you're one of the best officers on my team and I think you and Smithy are very lucky to have each other. So, congratulations on your engagement."

Kerry didn't know what to think, but she felt flattered at Gina's words so there was nothing else to do but to accept them and the fact that she wanted them to get along again. The silence finally died out when Kerry made a reply.

"Thanks ma'am."


	28. Chapter 28: Secrets and Announcements

**Chapter 28: Secrets and Announcements**

Six months had passed and the winter month December was eventually replaced with the summer month of June; the month that begins the wedding season. The secret of Kerry and Smithy's wedding had well remained a secret and they were now approaching the date that they had booked the registry office for. While their choice of bridesmaids and best man were prepared, they now had a witness on board since Gina knew and everything was almost ready; they still had break the news and Kerry's wedding dress was still not ready to be collected yet. The day came when the couple finally decided to announce the news, but it all didn't exactly go as they had planned it would; it all started when Sgt June Ackland was alone in the Sergeant's office and the telephone started to ring. She was the only one in there, so no one else could take the call, but what a surprise she was in for when she picked up the phone and held it to her ear.

"Hello? Kerry Young? I'm afraid she's not, can I take a message? Sorry?" she paused, for the caller had just given her information she was not to know of. "No, no problem, I'll see she gets the message; no worries."

She hung up the call and was swallowing up what she had just discovered; it wasn't very hard to put two and two together in this situation. But she was not going to be alone for much longer, for she was joined Tony, who had just arrived back to the station from an incident in the high street.

"Serge, we've got the little toe-rag caught shoplifting on CCTV in custody; denying everything as they normally do," he said as his greeting, but June didn't reply and he clocked both the silence and the look on her face. "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah," June managed to say, "I've just taken a message for Kerry - her 'wedding dress' is ready to be collected this afternoon."

"Wedding dress?" Tony replied with wide eyes after a few seconds. "You're joking!"

"The woman said 'Dale' would be delighted."

Tony stared at his friend and Sergeant for another second or so as he also put two and two together very quickly.

"Seriously? Smithy and Kerry getting married?" he gasped. "Well who'd have thought it? Smithy settling down? I never thought I'd live to see this day! Certainly kept it a big secret, didn't they?"

"Well clearly, it's not something they planned for us to find out like this, so we'd better keep this to ourselves," June said.

"Serge," Tony replied in his sarcastic obedient voice.

* * *

So the secret was now known to two more friends and colleagues, but luckily, Tony and June were not the type to spread gossip about their colleagues and they did a good job at keeping the news to themselves. But it is wedding procedure to inform the bride that her dress is ready. Kerry was working on the front desk that day; she had started off on patrol, but suddenly felt a bit unwell so Gina decided to keep her in the station so she could take it easy after she insisted that she didn't need to go home. She didn't mind of course; the front desk could be just as busy as other parts of the job and after a while, she was grateful that Gina had put her there for the rest of the shift. Things were much better between Kerry and Gina; the talk Smithy had had with his friend had worked and she'd been great in helping them get everything ready for the wedding, though they were only planning a small wedding anyway. But when June made a little visit to the front desk later in the morning, Kerry was not prepared for what her Sergeant was going to tell her.

"How's everything going here?" June asked.

"Yeah fine; quiet, but peaceful," Kerry answered, "nothing wrong with a peaceful day at work."

"Well I've got a message for you Kerry - your wedding dress is ready to be picked up this afternoon."

When Kerry heard the words "wedding dress", she looked at June with a wide-eyed expression, not knowing what to say.

"Oh..." was she could get out; this was not supposed to happen after all.

"Why keep it to yourself? It's wonderful news!" June exclaimed.

Kerry knew that there was no escaping it now so, she had no choice.

"Oh well, we didn't want to make a big fuss and, we wanted to get everything ready first before we told everybody," she explained. "I mean it's going to be a small wedding, not anything big.

"Oh well, in any case, congratulations," June said with a smile.

"Thanks June and, Smithy and I would appreciate if you kept this to yourself."

"Oh yes of course, no problem."

"Thanks."

Kerry let out a breath of relief at how well that went, but she knew June wasn't the type to get all too excited and blab something to somebody else, though she remained in the dark of the fact that Tony already knew. She thought that maybe that would've been the last she would've heard about weddings at work for that day, but she was wrong because one of her bridesmaids had done the most unexpected thing imaginable.

"Oi Kerry," cried out the voice of Honey as she entered the office right after June left. "I've got something for you."

"Oh? What is it?" Kerry asked.

"It's eh this - it's my wedding present for you," Honey said handing her some sort of card.

Kerry took it and saw it was from the Alexander Hotel in Sussex; it looked beautiful in the picture, but it was when she opened it that she got a real surprise.

"'Congratulations, you've won a dream wedding,'" She read out before looking up at her friend in shock. "Honey, you didn't!"

"Yeah I did," Honey exclaimed, "come on Kerry, look at it - it's beautiful, it's what you deserve for your big day."

"But Smithy and I are happy with a small wedding," Kerry reminded her.

"Oh come on; it's your day, so why not make the most of it?" the bridesmaid said when seeing the look of protest on the bride's face. "Keep it and show it to Smithy; I'm sure he'll love it."

Kerry acknowledged what Honey was doing and she looked at the card again; she did want her wedding to be special, more special than her first because this time, she knew was marrying the right man. It would've been selfish of her to not accept what her friend was doing and she smiled when she thought of having her wedding in that beautiful place; it didn't seem like something she could throw. Finally, she looked up at Honey with a smile.

"Thanks Honey; you know you didn't have to," she said before enveloping her in a hug.

* * *

A little time had gone by and refs break arrived; most of the officers were in the canteen joining their food and drinks and of course among them were Kerry and Smithy, who were sitting alone together away from everyone else so they could talk in private about Honey's gift. Kerry had been nervous to tell Smithy after they had already planned everything out, but Smithy took the news well and admired what Honey had done. He was reading the card as Kerry explained it to him.

"It's Honey's wedding present," she said after she'd finished explaining, "she did it all by herself."

"If you ask me, she's been planning her wedding, not ours," Smithy said sarcastically and they both chuckled.

"I know it is more than we planned, but if you like it then so do I," said Kerry.

Smithy looked at her and could see that she probably wanted to go through with what they'd been given.

"Well this is your day and if you want it to be spectacular, that's fine with me," he explained. "I do want this to be a day to remember."

"I'll always remember the day I married you; I don't need a big fancy wedding to remember it by," she said as she placed her hand on his wrist.

He stayed silent for a few seconds as he smiled at her.

"I think we should go for it; we can still have the ceremony the way we originally planned it," he finally said.

"Well if you're sure..." Kerry said.

"I am sure, really I am," he assured her.

She smiled at him and was only too happy to go along with the idea.

"Yeah okay, we'll go for it and I sure am glad that the day has finally come when I can stop hiding this away from everyone."

Not caring that anybody else might see, she took out her engagement ring from her pocket and slipped it back onto her finger and of course someone was going to see her; the one and only Reg caught sight of the diamond ring Kerry was now wearing from his table, which he was sharing with Tony, Nick, Yvonne and Honey.

"Hey, what's that on Kerry's finger?" he said to his four table mates; they all looked over.

"Well it looks like a diamond engagement ring," Tony said, pretending to be surprised.

Just like June and Tony had done earlier in the Sergeant's office, Reg was putting two and two together.

"Wait are they...?"

But before anybody could answer, everyone in the canteen heard the sound of Smithy's voice calling out to the whole room.

"Listen up everyone; we've got an important announcement to make and you might be quite shocked because it's been kept secret for a long time now, but here it goes," he started off and then he took a deep breath. "I'd like you all to know that there's a very special upcoming occasion, which everyone in this canteen is invited to attend and we hope to see you there because Kerry and I, we're getting married next week."

The canteen filled up with joyous and exciting gasps and claps and everyone was coming up to congratulate the happy couple; Reg certainly was excited to congratulate them.

"Oh that's great news Serge, congratulations!" he exclaimed as he shook Smithy's hand.

"Yeah you two, congratulations," said Tony, before he and Reg returned to their seats.

"I can't believe Smithy's getting married, can you?" Reg asked those at his tables who had not left their seats.

"Well actually Reg, we can; the truth is we already knew," Yvonne revealed without hesitation.

"We're the bridesmaids," Honey proudly declared.

"Yeah and... you're also looking at the best man," Nick also declared with pride.

"Oh," was all Reg could say.

But the congratulating wasn't stopping; DC Jim Carver was now giving Kerry and Smithy his best wishes.

"Smithy, congratulations!" he exclaimed. "And congratulations to you too Kerry!"

"Thanks Jim," Smithy said on their behalf.

This was now something for everyone to talk about, as well as look forward to, but there was one person in the whole station who would not be joining in all the excitement and he had just walked into the canteen. Gabriel entered and the minute, he noticed how excited everyone seemed and the person he was standing close to was SRO Marilyn Chambers, who was just about to join Reg.

"Hey, what's going on in here?" he asked.

"Kerry and Smithy have just announced that they're getting married," Marilyn explained, "it's so great for them; they make such a lovely couple!"

Those words stung Gabriel like a wasp's sting, though they shouldn't have. Clearly, he hadn't quite accepted that he hadn't won his battle with Kerry and now he had just learned that she was once again engaged to be married, but this was not one that he could break up; there was nothing he could do to stop this wedding. But that didn't stop him from looking on at the happy couple with poisonous looks, for he had hoped that Kerry would never find true happiness with anyone ever again, except for him. But even though Kerry made it clear she wasn't interested in him, he didn't accept that and the sight of her being happy with someone else made him sick, especially when that someone else was stronger than him in every way; he wanted to cause trouble for them, but he wasn't sure how he could do it.


	29. Chapter 29: The Wedding

**Chapter 29: The Wedding**

The seven days went by; everyone was excited to be the day that was being expected to arrive more than any other day. It was a fine, warm summer's day with sunshine and a clear blue sky and it all started off when two people awoke to the summer morning; Smithy was the first to awake and he lay in bed for a few moments to absorb that this was the day when he would longer be a free man for in just a matter of hours, he would be a husband. In another part of town, Kerry awoke and lay in bed smiling when acknowledging that the day when she would become a wife was finally here; she had been down this road before, but this time she had made no mistakes in her choice of a husband. It wasn't in anyway going to be like last time and all the pain and angst she had been through in the past year had just disappeared. Eventually, she managed to drag herself out of bed and walked out into the living room, where she was soon greeted by her three bridesmaids; the bride had had the advantage of staying in the apartment, while the groom stayed over at his best man's place.

"Good morning!" they shouted with joy and excitement.

"I'm getting married today!" Kerry exclaimed and the four joined in screaming for joy and a group hug.

"Well, we'd better get you fed and then get you dressed, get you ready and get you to the registry office," said Honey.

"And allow me to make the breakfast," Andrea offered before making her way into the kitchen.

The wedding wasn't until midday, so the four ladies had enough time to get fed and nourished, though they got to work on getting Kerry's hair ready before they started eating. Andrea made them a good English fry and once they were finished, they let their breakfast digest before making a move to get their dresses and their hair and make-up done. Now for the groom, it wasn't really as fussy; the only thing he had to do in preparation was to eat and change into a suit, although there were also four on his side of the wedding party. Nick was his best man and for his groomsmen, he had chosen Gary and Tony; Gina had even earned the role of being the witness and was expected to meet them at the registry office, along with Smithy's mum Pauline and Kerry's dad George was to give the bride away. Everyone else from the station that could make it was to attend the reception and they were sure it was going to be a day to remember. The morning managed to go by and as expected, the groom found himself being transported to where the wedding was to happen and the first person he ran into was his mother.

"Mum," he said greeting her with a kiss on the cheek.

"Oh look at you; my little boy's getting married, I was always worried I wouldn't live to see this day; I'm so proud of you," Pauline explained.

"Thanks mum; I'm so happy you're here to see this," Smithy said. "Now all we have to do is wait for my bride and we get things started."

He invited her to sit and looked his watch; they had ten minutes before Kerry was due to arrive.

"You okay Serge?" Nick asked when noticing a hint of nerves shaking in his friend.

"Yeah I'm fine," Smithy assured.

"I suppose the nerves of leaving freedom behind are kicking in," the best man said with sarcasm and all everyone could do was laugh at the joke.

"I'll tell you what though, Gina's taking quite long," said Tony, changing the subject, "let's hope work doesn't keep her for too long."

* * *

And work was keeping Gina; she had insisted on working for a few hours before heading to the wedding, but not she was regretting it. She had found herself being flooded with paperwork and had been instructed to finish it before going anywhere. It was now 11:30 and she still hadn't finished; she had to hurry, for she had promised Smithy and Kerry that she would be there for them and the wedding was in half an hour. She was rushing to get the writing finished when suddenly, she was interrupted by the one voice that she was never keen to hear.

"Everything alright ma'am?"

She looked up and saw the one officer on her team who she wanted out more than anyone else.

"I don't think that's really any of your business PC Kent," she shot back at him.

"Shouldn't you be getting ready for the wedding?" he sneered.

"I'm running a little bit behind schedule and I'm sure I'll get this done quicker if you're not standing bothering me!"

Gabriel didn't reply that time and just walked away; an opportunity that just rose for him. Now of course, Gabriel was not happy when he heard that Kerry and Smithy were getting married because he knew that it was making every bit of power that he once had over Kerry fade away and he never wanted her to be happy, unless it was with him. He had wanted to do something to stop the wedding from going ahead, just like he managed to stop her from marrying Cameron, but he had not found a way to do so, until now maybe. Gina was supposed to be Kerry and Smithy's witness, but she was running late, so maybe this gave him the chance to ruin what was meant to be the happiest day of Kerry's life. Everyone in the station knew that he had not been invited to the wedding, but they didn't know why; they just knew they had to respect Kerry and Smithy's wishes, but Gabriel didn't even know the meaning of the word and that is why he took it upon himself to try and cause enough trouble that would ruin the wedding and stop Kerry's happiness. With that being said, he got his kit ready and left the station, without telling anybody where he was going.

* * *

Smithy continued waiting at the registry office for Kerry to arrive; it was five minutes until she would, but he was getting really worried about Gina's absence. What if she couldn't make it? What would he do then? But he tried not to worry; he just decided to be patient.

"You alright Smithy?" Gary asked.

"Yeah, I'm just worried about Gina; I hope she doesn't miss this," Smithy replied.

"Well you know Gina, even when something's keeping her back, she'll still put out all efforts to get here," Tony pointed out.

Smithy gave a light chuckle.

"Yeah you're right Tone; I'm sure she'll be here."

But then, another person entered the room and it wasn't the person who everyone was expecting.

"Gabriel!" Gary exclaimed.

Smithy heard that name and turned around almost immediately; his stomach when he saw the face of his mortal enemy walking towards them, looking as if everything was normal.

"What the hell is he doing here?" he said with anger and Nick clocked the tone of voice instantly.

"Good day Serge," Gabriel said greeting, sounding frightfully normal and calm.

"What are you doing here? You're not supposed to here! You weren't invited!" Smithy shot back at him.

"The Inspector's tied up with paperwork so, I thought I'd come and fill in for her," he explained.

Smithy heard what he said and felt sick to his stomach; Gabriel, a witness at his wedding? There was no way he was having it.

"You've got a lot of nerve showing up here," Smithy said walking slowly towards him, "if I need a replacement witness, it's certainly not going to be you! You're not welcome here, so just get out!"

"Alright Smithy, alright mate; calm down!" said Nick coming forward.

"I don't believe this," Gabriel started off again, "I come here offering to do a good deed and all you can do is throw it back in my face and tell me to leave!"

There was silence as Smithy just stared at him with poisonous looks.

"What did you just say?"

"I didn't come here to cause trouble, I only came here so I could be part of your special day and..."

But he wasn't able to finish because before he knew it, Smithy's fist had struck his face in a forceful punch; that was when Smithy found himself being restrained by his best man.

"Whoa calm down mate!" Nick yelled, but Smithy managed to break free and grab Gabriel in a threatening manner.

"How dare you accuse me of doing something terrible!" he exclaimed with anger and heat. "You've turned up here so you can ruin the happiest day of my life; I don't want you here and Kerry doesn't want you here, so just get the hell out before I kill you!"

"Alright Smithy, calm down!" Nick's voice cried again and Smithy was once again restrained.

"Nick's right; that's enough out of both of you," Tony said.

"Just get him out of here and I will be calm!" Smithy yelled and there was no point in going against his wishes.

"Come on Gabriel out," Tony said, leading him outside; Gary and Nick stayed with Smithy.

Tony led Gabriel out of the room and downstairs to the reception; Gabriel then found himself being shoved when they were beside the entrance.

"How are you happy now?" Tony spat at him in disgust, "what are you playing at showing up like this?"

"What? All I did was come so I could help out and I get assaulted!"

"That's not the point, you shouldn't even be here! Smithy and Kerry don't want you here and you've completely disrespected their wishes; what you've just done is plain selfish!"

Gabriel was seeing that his plan wasn't exactly going as he had hoped it might; he'd hope that winding Smithy up enough to assault him would be a way of getting people on his side, but it wasn't even working because Tony was showing disgust towards him.

"You could've ruined their big day; you can't just show up because you feel like it; just leave, alright?"

Before Gabriel could turn around, a familiar voice rang out from behind him.

"Tony!"

It was Gina; she'd made it after all.

"Ma'am," Tony exclaimed with relief.

"So sorry I'm late," Gina explained, until her eyes fell on Gabriel, "and what exactly are you doing here PC Kent?"

"He was just leaving ma'am," Tony explained, hoping that Gabriel wouldn't say anything.

"I thought I'd come down here and take your place as witness ma'am, after seeing how busy you were; I thought you weren't going to make it, but I just ended up getting a fist in the face for it."

"Oh now why doesn't that surprise me? You disrespected Kerry and Smithy's wishes out of the goodness of your heart, did you?" Gina shot back at him. "Let me tell you something PC Kent, if I need someone to fill in for me, I certainly don't need a conniving, scheming and ultimately selfish little toe-rag like you to do it. So if you don't want to cause more trouble, you will leave this place and get back to the station. Ta-ta."

Another of Gina's wonderfully sarcastic telling-offs had just been told and Tony led her upstairs, whilst Gabriel watched with resentment and humiliation before heading out the door and as he was leaving, a silver Bentley carrying four young women and an older man drove in through the gates and parked at the entrance. Gabriel knew right away who it was and decided to wait and greet her.

"Here we are Kerry!" cried the voice of Honey from inside the car.

There was exciting laughs all about, until Kerry caught the sight of Gabriel standing outside the entrance.

"What is he doing here?" she gasped in horror and everyone saw who she was referring to.

"Gabriel?" Yvonne said when she saw him.

"He's not supposed to be here, will you get him out of here please?" Kerry gasped. "I'm not getting out of this car until he's gone!"

"Yeah alright Kerry, I'll sort it," Yvonne assured her and she climbed out of the car, closing the door behind her. "Gabriel, what are you doing here?"

"I came to be part of the wedding, but all I got was abuse and I thought I'd stay to see the bride," he said, trying to play it off that he was hurt.

"Eh no, no you won't be seeing the bride; Kerry doesn't want to see you, you shouldn't be here!"

"I don't believe this; all I'm trying to do is give them my best wishes..."

"Well they clearly don't want your best wishes and why do you care so much anyway? It's not like you and Kerry and Smithy are best mates or anything; Kerry and Smithy have made it clear that they can't stand the sight of you. Now just stop being so selfish and leave because you're stalling the wedding, so just go now!"

Clearly, there was just no point in fighting; no one was taking his side or showing any sympathy, so it looked like his efforts to ruin the day had been in vain. Unable to find any counter attack, he gave Yvonne one of his disturbing looks, turned his back on her and walked away; Kerry kept looking to make sure he had walked out of the gates before she chose to emerge from the car. Yvonne opened the car door and alerted her.

"He's gone now, do you feel like coming out of there?" she remarked sarcastically.

"Of course!" Kerry replied and out of the car she climbed.

Back inside, Nick and Gary were helping Smithy cool off his engines after his little punch-up with Gabriel; he was much calmer now and was just hoping it wasn't making the day go very wrong.

"You alright?" Nick asked him

"Yeah I'm fine," Smithy assured him, before turning to Pauline, "sorry you had to see that mum."

"That's alright," she said, before Smithy's attention was turned to the return of Tony.

"Look who I bumped into!" he exclaimed.

A smile lit up Smithy's face when he saw Gina entering; it was a relief that she managed to make it after all.

"Sorry I'm late; had a mountain of paperwork to finish!" she explained, before greeting Smithy with a hug.

"You're forgiven; I'm just glad you didn't miss today," he said, before he turned to Tony, "did you get rid of him?"

"Yeah he's gone," Tony replied.

"Good, thanks Tony."

"Smithy, what is it with you and Gabriel?" Gary asked.

Smithy heard the question and could see that everyone was curious to know the same thing; he remained silent for a moment while he thought of how to answer.

"Some things are better left unsaid," he replied, "but you just have to trust me on this one, he's a nasty piece of work; you all think you can trust him, but that's what he wants you to think. The best thing you can all do for yourselves is to stay away from him; he's nothing but trouble."

That was what they had to absorb and whether they did or not was up to them, but their thoughts to go elsewhere, especially when the registrar finally entered the room prepared to start.

"Is everything alright?" she asked.

"Yes everything's fine," Smithy assured her.

"I see we're still waiting for the bride; hopefully we won't have to wait much longer."

And little did she realise that she was right, for as Smithy turned around to have a few words with Nick, three women in identical lilac dresses appeared at the door; it was Yvonne, Honey and Andrea.

"Is someone waiting for a bride?" Andrea said.

The three of them walked inside, greeted Smithy and took their places, while a radiant young woman wearing a fantastic white sleeveless dress and a veil appeared in the doorway, arm-in-arm with an older man; it was Kerry and her dad. Radiant was indeed how she looked and the look on Smithy's face showed everything he was feeling. Smiling, Kerry and George entered the room, while Nick, Gary and Tony got into position and Gina and Pauline rose to their feet; it wasn't too long before the bride was standing beside the groom.

"You look absolutely amazing," Smithy gasped and Kerry only smiled.

Smithy then turned to George and shook hands with him.

"It's good to see you George."

"And you Smithy; I have no doubt that the daughter is marrying the right man," he said and it provoked smiles from the three of them.

Kerry was left to do something before the ceremony started and she acted it when she gave her dad a kiss on the cheek.

"Love you dad," she said.

George took his seat, while Kerry took Smithy's arm and turned to face the registrar.

"Are we ready to begin?" she asked.

Kerry and Smithy looked at each other smiling before nodding in agreement and so the ceremony began.

* * *

The wedding went on perfectly and it finally reached the point when the registrar pronounced Kerry and Smithy as husband and wife; the wedding party left the registry office with such joy and happiness, but the day wasn't over yet for there was still the reception at the beautiful venue in Sussex. The rest of the station was already there waiting, and dressed in smart suits and beautiful dresses, though not everyone was able to attend. The guest who were able to were Superintendent Adam Okaro, DCI Jack Meadows, DI Neil Manson, DC Jim Carver, Sgt June Ackland, DS Phil Hunter, DS Samantha Nixon, PC Reg Hollis, SRO Marilyn Chambers, DC Ken Drummond, DC Jo Masters, DC Terry Perkins, DS Ramani DeCosta, PC Steve Hunter, PC Sheelagh Murphy, PC Dan Casper, PC Lance Powell, Sgt Mark Rollins and PC Leela Kapoor. Much cheer rose in the air when the bride and groom finally arrived and they couldn't escape the wishing of the crowd for the bride to be kissed by her groom; no one ever thought they would get the chance to do so with Smithy. The reception was indeed enjoyable; it started off with delicious champagne being served, the bride throwing the bouquet and everyone having the opportunity to explore the beautiful hotel. But however, Kerry found that she was to run into trouble when she encountered the same uninvited guest who had shown at the ceremony; PC Gabriel Kent. He had decided that he would show up at the reception as a sign to Kerry that she would never escape from him and she encountered whilst walking to one of the entrances as he emerged dressed in a suit; she stopped and the smile on her face quickly faded. Gabriel was the first of them to talk and stopped walking at the top of the steps, smirking at her with his evil grin.

"I feel sorry for him," he smirked.

Kerry looked at him, feeling nothing but anger and hatred, and turned around to make sure no one behind could hear them, before turning back to face him.

"What are you doing? Why were you at the registry office?" she sharply demanded.

"Saving the day; doing the right thing, which is more than I can say for you," he cruelly spat. "I was waiting for you to say something, but you didn't. Have you got no self-respect?"

Kerry heard what he said and gave out a backwards gasp.

"Don't you dare take the moral high ground with me!" she shot back at him, walking towards the steps. "I have got nothing to be ashamed of because I have done nothing wrong, whatever you think in your twisted little mind!"

"Well looks who's talking, the station bike who cries rape. I never thought you'd get this far with anybody after your first disastrous marriage and the line of men you've bedded."

She could see that he was trying to get under her skin again, but this time she wasn't having; she knew she could counter his attacks now.

"You know, you can try and play as many more of your sick little games with me as you like", she fired at him as she walked halfway up the steps. "But it's never going to work anymore Gabriel, it's all over because I am married to Smithy now and you can't and you won't touch me ever again."

Gabriel could see that she was fighting back, so he tried again to get at her.

"A first failed marriage can always bring doubts; don't tell me you didn't hesitate about this one."

"I want you to leave," Kerry said giving him a poisonous look and walking up the rest of the steps; his taunting hadn't worked, "I believe my husband has already reminded you that you weren't even invited to our wedding."

When he heard the word "husband", he tried to ignore it and stopped her from walking any further.

"Why would I leave now? The party's just getting started."

But before Kerry could say anything else, there came a loud sound of throat clearing from behind; Kerry looked towards the doors and Gabriel followed where the sound had come from and standing there staring at him with ugly looks was Smithy.

"She's just told you why and I've already told you that you're not welcome here," he spat at him, answering the rhetorical question that was for Kerry.

Smithy walked towards them and Kerry managed to free herself from Gabriel's blocking; she took her husband's hand and they stood side by side to stare at him.

"Just leave Gabriel, this is my day and I am not going to let you spoil it," she stated, standing strong. "You can try whatever you like to tear us apart, but know this; whatever you try, you will not destroy my marriage. Any kind of hold or power or control that you may have had over me once is long gone now, so just give it up."

Clearly, Kerry was much stronger now and Gabriel had just been backed into a coroner, but it wasn't to stop there because Smithy had a little something to say and he made sure that Gabriel saw the threatening look in his eyes and heard the threatening in his voice.

"From now on Kent, if you've got something to say to my wife, you'll say it to me as well. Yeah that's right - Kerry is my wife now; she's not your responsibility, she never was your responsibility. I managed to help her rebuild her life after everything you put her through and I am not going to let you do all that to her again. So I'm going to give you a firm word of caution now; if I ever catch you within one mile of my wife, if you ever so much as lay a finger on her ever again, I will be making your life even more uncomfortable than it already is. I'll even make it my personal mission to get you kicked out of Sun Hill because remember, I have that sort of power over you. So if you don't want to kiss Sun Hill goodbye, you'll leave right now so just go."

There was no way out of this; it was all over as Kerry said and Gabriel could not fight back because he had lost. Now that Kerry was married to Smithy, she was more protected than ever and no one could touch her now, but Smithy was the sort of Sergeant that a PC could never overpower and Gabriel knew that, which is why he couldn't fight back anymore. So as the newlyweds just looked at him with so much anger and hatred, he turned on his heel and left; Kerry felt such relief to see him go, for it mean that her big day hadn't at all been ruined.

"You alright?" Smithy asked her once Gabriel was gone.

"Yeah I'm fine," she assured him, "that felt good actually, being able to stand up to him."

"You handled it really well now come on," Smithy smiled and so did she as he took her by the hand and led her back inside, "we've still got a wedding to celebrate."

* * *

The rest of the day went on as they had hoped; everyone sat down to a delicious meal, Nick gave out a wonderfully funny best man's speech and of course, the dancing was very enjoyable. By the end of the day, everyone was ready to retire for the night; the bride and groom were of course staying in the bridal suite for the night and the next day, they would be off on their honeymoon. Their wedding night was a beautiful night of passion, but the next morning when they had managed to get out of bed, Kerry had an announcement to make to her husband.

"Smithy, there's something I need to tell you; I wanted to wait until the day after the wedding," she explained.

"Oh is something wrong?" he replied.

"No, no nothing's wrong, it's actually really wonderful; Smithy, I'm pregnant!"

Smithy's eyes widened and a smile slowly formed on his face.

"Pregnant?" he gasped.

"Yeah, we're going to have a baby!" Kerry exclaimed.

Smithy finally gasped in sheer delight.

"How far gone are you?"

"About fourteen weeks," she replied, "we're going to have a baby; we're going to be a family!"

Both of them were smiling with such joy and Smithy enveloped his wife in a warm, loving embrace; it was such joy and relief that this time, she was having his baby for the both of them and Kerry knew that she had managed to rebuild her life. She was now married to a wonderful man, she was pregnant with his baby and she had beaten the monster who had nearly destroyed her life completely; she knew she was going to be alright.


End file.
